Still have NW - going on 10 mths

[Jemimah]

Alright, this is getting ridiculous for me - DS2 going on 10 mths and still NW. He still wakes from 2 -5 times a night.

Some points:
He uses a soother, but not dependent on it.  Sucks and spits out.  We have taken it away for 2 weeks and he was fine with that, but then was teething and cold so we started using it again.  Usually at nap time and initial bedtime, and only if we have trouble getting him back to sleep at night.

He is not what I call an completely independent sleeper, but is not bad.  We put him in sleep sac, noise machine and heater on, hold for a few minutes and lay him down "almost asleep".  This is the same for naps and BT. 

We only go in when it's the "I need you cry", but to be honest it is ALWAYS the I need you cry.  Standing up in corner wailing.  Otherwise it is just little cry outs that he can settle himself.

His NW can start sometimes as early as 8 PM, and we can go in and resettle by picking up and moving to new part of crib and rub back for a few minutes.  If that doesn't work, we can usually pick up and hold for less than 10 min and back to sleep.

I was NF anytime after 3AM, never sooner.

His nap schedule had been the best it has ever been.  Sleeping the full 1.5 hrs, and then having to wake him on his capped nap.  I surely thought his nights would improve too.

Then since my last NW posts, decided to drop the NF and see what he would do.  Well he didn't complain, but the NW still continued.  We went a few weeks with no NF, but I felt like I was up from 12-4 every night constantly resettling, then the resettling started to become quite difficult, had to pick and rock for up to 1/2 hr.  He was teething and had a cold.  So I beared and grinned it and kept saying we would get back on track once his teething is done, and stuffy nose gone. 

So here I am today and the teething is still here, stuffy nose is better - but over the course we were getting so tired of resettling and becoming props, that I starting NF again.  Last night I even NF twice in hopes to guarantee me some sleep.  The worst part was that he still woke after NF!!

EASY:
WU: 6.15
Nap: 10-11.30
Nap: 3-3.30
BT:7
NW: 8, 10.30, 10.40; 4.20
NW and NF: 11.50, 3

I need some moral support as I am starting to break, and I can't imagine what it will be like when I am back at work
Need support, advice (again!) and any miracle suggestions pls
To boot, I am going back to work in 4 weeks, so am dropping mid morn and afternoon BF in the next 2 weeks.

This is long winded, so hope it all makes sense!

[Layla]

I am so sorry to hear things aren't getting better .

I really think you need to stop the rocking and the holding and it sounds like this is a prop issue. Can he replug the dummy himself... could you put several dummies in the cot for him to find? If it were me, I would probably ditch the dummy too and just use pu/pd method (or just pd). It will be hard and yes, he will cry but he's probably getting mixed signals with being picked up/held/rocked/resettled all the time and probably expects it when he wakes at night. I wouldn't feed him at night either, especially since he doesn't put himself back to sleep afterwards. At this age, you would start looking at weaning night feeds and you don't want to create more props for him to rely on...

Will be here to support you if that's the path you want to take... it will be hard but well worth it .

What do you think?

[Jemimah]

I know you are right, just need to hear it from someone else!!

Can you run through a PD scenario for me so I have it down properly and don't give in?

He cannot replug himself, so will ditch soother.

Thx so much!

[Layla]

Here is a link to the pu/pd How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations) but you don't have to follow it exactly as it states.. you can do a variation of it. For example, you could pat the mattress and repeat shhh to try and settle him. I would only pick him up if he's really frantic and then put him down very soon after (no rocking ). At night you would do it as long as it takes for him to fall asleep... which could be up to 2hrs....but consistency is the key and if you do end up taking him out and rocking, it will be for nothing, if you know what I mean.

[Jemimah]

Will give it a try on Sat night when I will have some help from hubby.  So last night I tried resettling from 1.30-2.30 with no break, and fed him and he slept till morning.  Was he truly hungry?  His cues/cries are so hard to judge.

PD questions:
-do I start with night time or nap time?
-if he is frantic, do you hold until he has stopped crying or a bit longer?
-An other tips

Thanks

[Layla]

I would probably start with nap time. If he is frantic, I would hold until he starts to settle down and then put him back in the cot.

It might be best if you post in the pu/pd board because I haven't really had to do pu/pd with dd3, she still responds really well when I go and shh her, rub her back a little and leave her. You'll be able to get lots more support on that board, from members who are either going through it or have gone through it 

[Jemimah]

Ladies - thanks for all the support from this board.  It is a life saver!!!  Everyone must have been sending out good vibes, as ds2 went from 2-10 NW every night for 10 mths straight to STTN   WAHOO!!!  This all occurred the night I was going to start Pu/PD but couldn't as Hubby had to work overnight and I didn't want to start without any help.  I still cannot believe it.  We are on day 4 and loving life, and sleep!

Thanks again for all the support - it is invaluable

[Layla]

Wow, that's amazing. Crossing my fingers and toes that he continues to sleep through for you!!!