17.5 LO early wakings following illness - cant get him back on track

[Sunshinerachel]

Desperately seeking some advice please!!!!!!!

My 17.5 month old has always had a routine which he has flourished with! He has had a long period of illness 6 weeks (very hard on us all) but still maintained his routine until the last week.......!

He woke at 5.30 4 days ago moaning/attention crying frustrated that he was awake, my husband had an important meeting so instead of leaving him to resettle himself, I went in and couldn't settle him so brought him into our bed! He settled straight away and slept until 7am (usual WU).

He woke the following morning (day 2) at 5.30am my husband wanted to let me sleep so took him into the spare room bed and he settled again straight away and slept till 6.45am. I should point out that this was the first time either of us had brought him into our bed!

We decided that it was habitual waking, the following night my hubby woke him at 4.30 he was extremely upset but after settling him (rubbing his tummy) he settled and slept until 6.45am.

Last night (4) my hubby tried to be more gentle rousing him, he thought he had woken him, he moaned a bit and went back to slept! He then woke at 5.20 we could not settle him,  and as he was mainly whining I decided to leave him to settle himself, he did not settle, so I got him up at 6.45am to start our day.

To make it worse for the first 2 days of this slept disturbance I decided to continue my efforts to drop his am nap we had got it to 10.00am for 30mins. On day 1 I delayed it until 10.30 (30mins sleep), but Day 2 Skipped his nap totally..... it was a huge mistake he had a terrible day and 2nd nap was only 45mins (usually 1.45mins). I realise this was totally the wrong thing to do and whilst we are dealing with these early wakings we have gone back to his earlier routine of 10am (30mins).

Lastly today my LO's second nap was affected he only got 45mins sleep. I think what's happening is that he's waking and can't get himself back to sleep he gets extremely frustrated and ends up very grumpy but wide awake.

So my questions are should I try the sleep to wake method again (think I will), and what should I do when he wakes ? Should I rub his tummy or will that become the prop?  Is the right thing just to leave him (after going in to reassure him), and how long should I leave him if just moaning till normal wake up time?

Honestly I'm really struggling and desperate to do the right thing and correct my accidental parenting! Any help would be so greatly appreciated! Thanks so much x

[*Becky*]

could you post a typical day for me in EAS format so I can see nap times etc.
Also - do you think he is teething? Both mine had EWings with teeth...

[Sunshinerachel]

Hi Becky
We've had another terrible night, we had set the alarm to deal with what we thought was habitual waking, instead our LO woke at 3.50 (with maybe a nightmare?), then I comforted him (rubbing tummy and back), then left room, I did this method about 30 times, but he kept waking up realising I wasn't there and was unable to get himself back to sleep in the end he got back to sleep for 45 mins then woke at 6.20 and wouldn't sleep again so we got up!

Nothing is a Typical day at the moment with these early wakings however the rest of his routine is pretty standard; (please note as in my earlier post) I  was in the middle of trying to drop his am nap prior to these problems but have reverted back as follows for us;

WU - 5-5.30 (try and get him back to sleep)
A - 6.20 - get up
E - 7am
A
S - 10am -30mins
A
E - 12.30
A
S - 1.45 -2pm (for 1.15-1.30)
A -
Bath time - 6.30
E - milk
S - 7.00 -7.15

Hope this helps I'm convinced now that he has lost the ability to soothe himself back to sleep and I'm a my wits end but will keep at it, any help would be so greatly appreciated! 

[Sunshinerachel]

Hi Becky
Also  he has just had some big teeth through but teething has never effected him like this!

[*Becky*]

the big teeth can cause v different behaviour - I would def give meds if you think it might be an issue. You could give them around 2/3am and it 'might' help get through the early waking.

Re the routine I think you do need to go to one nap. DD was waking around 5.30/6am when we made the switch (also at 17 months)
We set nap for 11am and then BT was 6pm and she was doing about 12 hours at night to start with. Then we started pushing the nap back slowly.

What do you think?

[Sunshinerachel]

Hiya
Yes have been giving meds when needed but all 1st molars are now through so not convinced its what's causing wake up??

Thought it was best to get him sorted before tweaking his schedule again, as I think the waking is still down to him losing the ability to get himself to sleep, after illness were I was Soothing him.

Do you think I should try WI WO method for another few days and see if I can solve the self settling problem then try the dropping 1 nap? Another question is do you think this method (WI WO) will eventually solve the problem or should I look at any other options?
I'm concerned he won't be able to make the leap to 1 nap whilst he's still waking so early and will just become overtired and hysterical.
When i look to drop the nap, how long should I hope he sleeps for? And any tips eg snack before nap time?

Thanks for the support?

[*Becky*]

WIWO is fine for the mornings but EWings are tough as they may still be tired but they have had a big chunk of sleep yk? I def think the less contact the better so unless he is v upset I would leave him to it and yes do WIWO if needed.

Is he just waking in the am? Does he settle to bed and nap ok?

Sometimes you just have to make the leap when it comes to transitions, like I said we had EWU's but we did manage it.

[Sunshinerachel]

He has always been great at nap time (2 min babbles then straight to sleep)
However last few days Am nap fine (10am -30mins), but pm nap has been affected.
 If he's not in bed by 2pm (happened on sat & sun) he gets overtired and stands up and rocks cot, until we go in and rub tummy calm down, also yesterday Pm nap was shorter 45 mins (usual 1.5), but did settle quickly.
Desperate to make the leap just don't want to do too much and make it any worse x

[*Becky*]

here to hold your hand whatever you decide x