Please help me...13 month old

[murphsmom]

Hi Everyone,

I really really need some advice, I’m at my wits end..

We are in a pretty bad pattern with my 13.5 month.. I don’t even know where to start. This is affecting my marriage, my 3 year old and I also work full time..its so hard

He is waking at least 2-3 times a night screaming…I have got to the stage where I can pat his bum and turn him on his side and he’ll go back to sleep for some of the wakings… BUT one of the night wakings he is usually awake for 1.5 hours (usually at 3/4am but not always). Crying, bucking, shouting ‘up up’. He will eventually put his head on my shoulder and fall asleep, the minute I pop him into cot again he will wake up.  And so it continues until eventually he falls asleep.

This has been going on for 5 months, sometimes it gets worse (up to 15 times a night there for a few weeks!!) He has recently tested for wheat intolerance which I feel may explain the ‘pain like screaming’ at night…so have eliminated wheat, but have yet to see any difference .

Then I have to wake him at 7am ..this is what his day looks like:

Awake: 7am (have to wake him)  8oz bottle
Breakie: 8am
Nap: 10:00am for 1 or 1.5hrs (have to wake him, nearly always)
Lunch: 12pm and has  8oz bottle
Nap: 1:30pm for 1 or 1.5 hours..never sleeps later than 3pm (have to wake him, nearly always)
Dinner: 5:30pm
Bed: 10 oz bottle then bed at 7pm

He goes for his naps in cot fully awake, talks for 5 minutes and sleeps no bother…same at bedtime..it’s the NWs that are the problem.
We were giving him a bottle in the middle of the night till 3 weeks ago and we eliminated that but he still wakes….

Can please someone advice tweaking his naps? Would that help the night-time…

I really appreciate all of you helping , i really don’t know where else to turn 

[michaeljacknnugg]

Having 12 hours (without NWs) at night and then 2 naps too is a lot of sleep to be expecting at that age! Would you be able to take him down to 1 nap? That might help a lot. I would take out the morning nap entirely and let him have a longer one in the afternoon.

Also, teeth were horrendous for us at his age, like super painful. But only at night! So maybe medicating might be something to consider too.

[murphsmom]

Thanks for the reply...yes I think you may be right..

What do you think of this;

7am; awake
945-10am: 15 min nap
1-3pm; 2 hour nap

I don't think he will last till 1pm for big nap, unfortunately he is in childminders for 3 days a week and with play school run she would not be able to put him down till 1pm,

The other 5 days I could  have him nap from 12am-2:30pm with no morning nap..

Sorry for the specifics but I'm so desperate to get it right!

[michaeljacknnugg]

It might be a gradual process, but it looks like a reasonable routine. Eventually he will be ok with the later nap on both.

I think there is a support thread for nap dropping, might be worth a look!

[weaver]

I agree with MJN, a lot of this could be to do with under tiredness.  Certainly, trying to get my LOs back to sleep when they were undertired was a recipe for frustration and screaming - sometimes both of us!

He is probably in the 2-1 transition, the period when he needs to move from two to one naps.  This usually happens with one of the naps shortening (or being shortened ) and then disappearing to leave one long nap in the middle of the day.

7am; awake
945-10am: 15 min nap
1-3pm; 2 hour nap

I would say 9.45 is  too early.  I would start with something like 10.15 as his first sleep of the day and wouldn't let it be any longer than 30 mins. He should be fine to go at 1pm or a shade later then.  As he settles into this new pattern, you will probably notice a 'witching hour', the time past which he should not be allowed sleep because it messes with his night time sleep.  This is often 3.30/4.   

Here's some more information:
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

HTH!