what do you do when toddler wont eat the meal given?

[mtemte]

My 15 month old is a very picky eater! There are certain things she will always eat, new things she may eat once but then won't touch them again even though I offer over and over.

LO eats the same as us. But what do you do for example when lo won't eat what she is given? Its not a case of her not liking it... because she sometimes has eaten the same thing just a couple of days previously? do you just leave her be and not give her an alternative or do you offer something else?

LO has never had weight issues but I don't want her to go hungry either

What do you do?

[Mama2Athena]

My DD is also picky at times so we've had days where she won't touch what I serve.  She is a tiny little thing (10th percentile) so I find myself offering way too many alternatives just so that I know she won't go hungry.  I'm trying to break this habit though.  Fortunately she loves banana, avocados, bread, crackers, yogurt, milk, and other easy to serve items, so I tend to offer those as backups.  However, I always give her a chance to eat what we are eating first before resorting to her favorites.  My DH keeps telling me to not offer anything else, let her go hungry and she will learn.  I don't have the heart to do that.  She's now almost 2 and has gotten better at eating.

[Haribo2012]

If my LO won't eat what's offered I say are u sure, if he still says no I take it away but only ever offer toast/crackers or fruit no new meal as such.
They don't go hungry hun, less fuss the better. x

[LovelyLilyandJack]

I just make sure there's something I know they'd normally eat on the plate and it's up to the kids what they eat on the plate, and how much.  Sometimes lily especially will only have 3 mouthfuls and that's all she'll eat.  She normally makes up for it at another meal, or the next day,  or the next week!

[jessmum46]

I agree, if she doesn't eat what is offered I just clear it away, no fuss and offer what I would have offered anyway for dessert e.g. Yoghurt, fruit.  But no alternative main course as such.  It can be helpful to look at what a toddler eats over the course of a week rather than any one given day as it's pretty normal for them to eat like sparrows one day and then eat more than you do the next! 

[clazzat]

 Agree with pps - don't offer alternatives, let her have whatever else was going to be part of the meal anyway and don't make a big deal of it. My ds will only eat supper 1-2 times a week - it's not that he doesn't like what is offered, he just won't eat it. He gets his yoghurt and that's it - I know that he will eat when he is hungry.

[Buntybear]

Whilst I agree in principle with pps I had a fussy eater but a hungry and a stubborn one! If he didn't want what was served he would be hungry and let us know it. There is no persuading him. Personally I can't relate to the theory they won't go hungry. Ok maybe at lunch when you know you can get through a hungry afternoon and then give them a good dinner but not the last meal.

If he wouldn't eat his dinner then I would give him a bowl of porridge before bed time to fill his tummy otherwise he would be vile and NW or EW due to hunger. I remember nights of being up at 2am feeding him bananas to get back to sleep!

I would always offer something I know he would eat and then try new things alongside it.

[Lemonthyme]

I never offer anything else.  I just say "that's all you're getting, there's nothing else" and normally he will still have a few spoonfuls but he realises there is no Plan B in my house.  Offer something else is just making things harder for you IMO.  If you're offering plenty of choice, e.g. different veg within a meal, there is no excuse for fussiness.  I won't however, make a big deal out of it if he choses to leave one of the vegetables for example.

[yujai]

I have a trick! Maybe it will work with your LO too?  My LO has a strong personality, he eats really well if he wants to but you can't stuck anything in his mouth if he doesn't want to.  However, he does love all sorts of beverage. 

Today I made him some chicken meatballs, and he wasn't too interested in it.  I break it up and put it in spoon along with soup, he will open his mouth and eat it. (In worst case scenario, he will drink the soup and split out the meatballs).  At the end he picked up the meatballs and eat 3 more!

[Skadiver13]

Whilst I agree in principle with pps I had a fussy eater but a hungry and a stubborn one! If he didn't want what was served he would be hungry and let us know it.

I agree with you here. My lo wont eat but then for the next hour will be signing that he's hungry and I know he is he just didn't wnat to eat what was offered.

The only thing I can say is I offer something I know he'll like and something he likes sometimes. If he doesn't eat ether I offer one alternative and then that's it.

[clazzat]

They do get hungry if they don't eat, it's just that that isn't necessarily the worst fate in the world.  My dd1 stopped eating when she was about 1 - she would only eat 3-4 different meals, and she lost nearly 3kg before she decided to start eating again.  I offered her the meals that I knew she would eat frequently, but I also made sure to give her things that she had eaten in the past as well to make sure that she still had exposure to different foods.  She often refused to eat her evening meal and would normally eat an enormous breakfast to make up for it.  Nowadays she eats pretty much anything and will try absolutely everything.  I strongly believe that if we had not taken the approach that she would eat when she was ready then she would still be very fussy now.

[ZacsMumme]

Whilst I agree in principle with pps I had a fussy eater but a hungry and a stubborn one! If he didn't want what was served he would be hungry and let us know it.

I agree with you here. My lo wont eat but then for the next hour will be signing that he's hungry and I know he is he just didn't wnat to eat what was offered.

The only thing I can say is I offer something I know he'll like and something he likes sometimes. If he doesn't eat ether I offer one alternative and then that's it.

Yah this is what we did with Z. I think sometimes you have to do what works for your LO. Z is very sensitive, has food aversions and more than just a fussy eater. Knowing all this means I react differently to his eating than I do with T who is a great eater, but can be stubborn as to what he wants and not, but will eat it if re offered or later on at the next mealtime etc. I tend to allow fruit and veg at any time, not that Z ever went for it but T will make a point if he wants a banana after eating say 1/2 his meal. (Then finish his meal )

Z often refuses dinner. He has one option for supper. Boring but fills a gap. Toast with peanut butter or marmite. On days he eats little of what is offered he makes up for it for breakie too like clazzat mentions.

Offer something else is just making things harder for you IMO.  If you're offering plenty of choice, e.g. different veg within a meal, there is no excuse for fussiness. 

I just want to say that fussiness isn't always just fussiness. Fussiness in Toddlers is in part developmental. Some are more so than others but it is normal for them to have periods of fussiness. For some it's about control, others it's teething or a medical reason such as reflux. For us it's about texture, temperature and a sensitivity with taste.

[clazzat]

Offer something else is just making things harder for you IMO.  If you're offering plenty of choice, e.g. different veg within a meal, there is no excuse for fussiness. 

I just want to say that fussiness isn't always just fussiness. Fussiness in Toddlers is in part developmental. Some are more so than others but it is normal for them to have periods of fussiness. For some it's about control, others it's teething or a medical reason such as reflux. For us it's about texture, temperature and a sensitivity with taste.

There is definitely often more to it than just fussiness, and that is why I think that it is important to make sure that the sensitivities don't then lead to fussy eating, iyswim, which I think is what happens when too many alternatives  are offered. If you are working within the sensitivities but still offering new things and making it clear that they need to eat what is offered rather than holding out for something better (not sure if I am phrasing this well!) then that is how you get through the fussy phases without long-term issues.