Cannot seem to establish a routine

[bhavs1623]

Hi All,

I am new to this forum, so please bear with me.

My LO is 9 weeks old and I have been trying to get him into a routine since he was four weeks old. I understand that it can be difficult and I may be expecting too much, however I feel that my baby just wont settle for my routine and wants his way 

I have a few problems which I cannot seem to resolve:
He has thrush from birth and I have been giving him Miconazole gel, however it doesn't seem to have made much of a difference. I'm not sure what to do now.

He has always been quite a windy baby so I try and wind him as often as I can, but this can mean his feed time increases to ridiculous times and by then he is very tired and annoyed.

He is a sleepy feeder and very rarely stays awake during his feed, I have tried putting him on the play mat, rousing him by tickling his feet, opening his nappy, all he does is cry and wants to go back to sleep.

He wakes up during the night at 3-4, I offer him water but he isn't interested and barely takes his full feed without fretting, this feed can take me up to 45mins, after this feed he is very unsettled at 5am and very rarely goes into deep sleep mode. The room is dark and quiet, so I am not sure what i can do to aid him sleeping better and until 7am.

His late afternoon feed (2.30pm) is quite tough as he will take the milk, however he wants to go back to sleep within an hour and then he gets up at an awkward time, ie too early for Bedtime and too late for him to stay up until 7pm.

When he is awake he is very very active and plays and smiles alot, however he can barely stay up for more than an hour without getting cranky, miserable and tired.

At birth he weighed 6.8lbs has steadily gained weight and now weighs 10.8lbs at 8 weeks.

His feeding times are 7/7.30am 150ml/top up of 60ml; 10.15/10.30am 150ml; 2.15/2.30pm 120ml; bedtime 4.30/5pm & 5.45/6pm split feed 180ml; 10.30pm 180ml; 3/4am 120ml

His nap times vary8.30/8.45am - 9.20/10am11.30/11.45am - 2/2.15pm3.30/3.45pm - 4.30pm sometimes snoozes at 3.30pm for 10mins only 7pm - 10/10.30pm (woken by us) 11.30pm - 3/3.30am. I hear him wincing from 2.45am sometimes and I always wonder if it's hunger related or just habit related as he takes more than his daily quota between 7am -11pm.
The nap times are not always consistent and can vary depending on his tiredness level.

I have been following the routine for nearly four weeks, I have seen some changes, however I always feel instead of him becoming predictable he is becoming the opposite 

I do think he is a genuinely sleepy baby and cannot seem to stay awake for more than 1.5hours MAXIMUM, however I have no idea how to eliminate all my problems ie sleepy feeder, cranky when I wake him for his feed, night time waking,

Maybe I am expecting miracles, I would really appreciate any advice I cant get from the lovely parents/carers/guardians out there

Lots of hugs
Bhavs x

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW

Your baby is still very young and really at this age (or any) it is best to keep your expectations low.

For the oral thrush I would go back to your doctor and report that the miconazole has not been effective.  My LO was given nystatin drops which is a different oral thrush medication, you might find this more effective.  Sometimes more than one round of meds is needed to get rid of the thrush.  Oral thrush can make feeding very uncomfortable so be patient with his feeds even if they seem out of routine, he will be doing his best to feed well.  (are you greast or bottle feeding?  Oral thrush can pass to you if you are breast feeding so you would need some meds too)

I would not suggest offering water day or night at this age. Babies need milk, it is absolutely normal to have 2 night feeds or even 3.  One of these may be the DF if you have implemented one.  There are many growth spurts and during these your baby will need to feed more often, and including at night.  If it has been 3hrs+ since a feed and you baby wakes crying it is likely he needs milk so offer breast/bottle at that time.  Babies should not need any water until 6 months old when solids are introduced as taster foods along with their regular milk feeds.

Babies this age and younger are very very sleepy.  You wouldn't expect a newborn to stay awake longer than an hour and at 9 weeks would be looking at a guidance awake time of 1hr 15 mins to 1hr 20 mins. so trying to keep him awake for 1hr 30 mins is too long, only very low sleep needs babies would be able to stay awake that long.  1hr 30 mins is an average A time for a 3 month old.  Really all youhave time for between naps is to feed right away, wind, change his nappy, have a cuddle and begin the wind down for his nap.  You may find the routine settles once you reduce his A time.

There are many helpful links here
Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!
including a link to the average A time by age.

I suggest you try to establish a routine where he feed every 3hrs, is awake for 1hr 15, and naps 1.5hrs.
A time includes anything that is not sleep, so begin with morning wake up and aim to have him back asleep by 1hr 15.  Feed at 3hrs when he wakes from his nap.

I feel that my baby just wont settle for my routine and wants his way

As frustrating and tiring as it is for you in the early days I am sure it's just a matter of finding a routine that is suitable for him. Babies love routine, they love to know what to expect and what is coming next.

Hopefully this helps you some. There is lots of support in this community so please do feel free to post your questions or even just for a hug on the couch if you are having a rough day.
You'll get through this - you really will.

[Shdef]

Wanting to go back to sleep after an hour is fine at that age, so is being sleepy during a feed. Feeding is a very sensual, happy time for babies, the sucking is hard work, but also relaxes them, so falling asleep during feeding is good and normal.

He does want it his way, all babies do. That is what routines are all about. Trying to find THEIR pattern. It might take three or four months for them to actually establish a reliable one, take notes and see if things are getting more consistent.

I would feed milk at night at this stage, not water, but keep it low key and dark, no playing at night 

PP said to go back for the thrush, you definitely should. Add some baby probiotics if you can and change the antifungal. Important is to have drops AND cream AND probiotics to get rid of it. For nappy changes, after you use wet wipes, dry his bum thoroughly with a muslin or toilet paper and then leave him without one for a few minutes. Change VERY frequently (hourly and immediately after a poo) and buy the best brand, just for a couple of weeks.

In the meantime; congrats and enjoy your baby. Being active and smiling a lot means he is doing AWESOME!

[bhavs1623]

Thank you for your advice   
I have a GP appointment tommies and will definitely be seeking for different medication.
Water is definitely out if the question now!!
I will keep you updated and thanks again for your helpful advice xx

[creations]

No problem. Hope you manage to get that oral thrush sorted