Which to preserve, a longer nap or a longer night?

[anna*]

To my surprise it seems like we are in the very beginning of the 1-0... by which I mean, Audrey can no longer manage both an 11-12hr night and a good nap - either the nap or the night is cut short.

It seems that any length of nap (I haven't tried less than an hour) will cause her to be awake until at least 8pm, often much later. She's woken in the morning at 7-7.15. On no nap days she copes admirably, and will do 12-13hrs. We haven't done more than one NND in a row - usually not more than one in a week.

She does drive me a bit nuts in the evenings. It's fine if she's just chatting with her 'guys', but when she calls me back at 8.30pm... or when I think she's been asleep but I hear "Hi Stan! You going bed now?" when he goes in, it's frustrating. I feel like she's not getting 'enough' sleep but she must be, really, she is fine and happy, and she has the opportunity to sleep. She never really seems tired when we put her down, either for nap or bed, unless it's a NND.

On the other hand though I think we need a bit of a break from her! She is pretty full on - which 2.5yo is not - and it's exhausting to keep going like that all day without that rest time. I know we should probably be waking her after 45 mins of nap or so ... but it is so so so hard to break that peace and quiet and deliberately wake her up! I am trying to cap her at 1hr but even so, the bedtime larking about continues.

[Lolly]

I found that my DD was a lot nicer for a longer night rather than a nap and shorter night. She started the 1-0 around 2 and her nap was gone by 2.5 or she was awake until 10pm. As much as I loved the peace in the day I much preferred not running up and down stairs all evening sorting out the shenannigans . If I capped the nap and had to wake her she was a horror so it was easier to keep going.

We did find that we couldn't go anywhere in the car around 4pm for a few months or she fell asleep and then bedtime was a nightmare again. She handled OT well and has always been a high A times girl, dropped the cat nap by 4 months and was firmly on 2 naps before 6 months and then cold turkey to 1 nap the day after she turned 1.

Laura

[Shiv52]

I'd preserve night for sure. I dropped Rs nap at 2.5 for all the reasons you mention and it just seemed silly to have a 5yo in bed sleeping at 7.15 and a 2yo up to 8.30/9.

[Roseii]

Same here, as much as the nap (which she took v willingly!) was *lovely*, the normal bedtimes were lovelier!!

[ZacsMumme]

Same here, as much as the nap (which she took v willingly!) was *lovely*, the normal bedtimes were lovelier!!

This! Given the nap was always going to go anyway I always wanted restorative longer nights over a short one and longer nap. I love my child free evenings too

[anna*]

Oh I'd love a child free evening.... But they're a thing of the past as Stan is rarely asleep much before 9

[*Becky*]

Do you think it is def 1-0 Anna. Audrey has always been quite HSN hasn't she? How long has it been going on for?

[Mashi]

Started about the same age here, and my DS was (and still is!) high sleep needs.    We started out with no nap days and the early beds just one day on the weekend, then it would be a weekend day plus one week day, etc.  And just slowly went to it.  BY the time he was 3yo and started kindergarten he was only napping once a week, and that only lasted a couple of months, until he was onto just early bed all the time.

I think that the key is in dropping the nap to encourage the night sleep - this is what will last her whole life, yk? Getting rid of the nap is the long term goal so there is not much point in keeping that nap at the sacrifice of night.  I do think though that in this stage, your needs are important too -- there are days when you need to break so she has a nap and times when you need to go out (etc) and so she learns to get by without. 

[lilisuze]

With ds, when he needed to drop the nap, we did quiet time with blanket and the tv. He took about 45 minutes rest time with minimal assistance from me (meaning i could pop out to the bin, go for a wee etc) and didn't interfere with sleep at bedtime. Infact, he still has resttime now at the weekend if we are free! Might she go for that?

[*Ali*]

We do a mix of 2hr naps and nnds.  It works for us as 3-4 days a week we have play groups and swimming lessons in the afternoons so he misses his nap those days.  On the other 3-4 days he can sleep 1-3ish and is still in bed by 7 with Cadan.  Colby will sometimes mess around calling me back every 10 mins but actually he will often just go straight to sleep as well. I think because the naps are catch up for the nnds they don't leave him UT.  He was always quite LSN. WU in the morning is 7-7.20am but he is often woken by Cadan or he would sleep later I think.

Cadan was always high sleep needs and was doing 13.5hr nights by 2.5yo   without a nap. We did 30 min naps in the car or buggy for about 3 months before dropping the nap completely with Cadan but his nights were still only 11.5-12hrs with the 30 min nap so he started getting more sleep when we dropped it.

[HenaV]

Hey Anna

TBH, I was wondering the same as Becky having read through your thread. R recently started to do the same thing - her shenanigans manifested themselves in taking ages to go to sleep and/or hour long NW between 3-4am and then having to be woken in the morning.

It was suggested to me that i move the nap by 15m (still cap at 1.5h as R borders on HSN) and see what happens. So we now do this:

WU: 6.30-6.45am
nap: 1.45-3.15pm (previously nap was at 1.30)
BT: 7pm (usually asleep by 7.15 if not sooner)

This has been in place for about 3/4days and I know I'm about to jinx myself by saying it, but has worked a treat so may be worth considering. I think R and A are around the same age, so maybe a similar issue?

oh I also found capping R's naps and waking her in the morning was making her a horror, but in hindsight, I don't think that was because of the capping but the fact that she wasn't getting a decent night and then I was waking her in the morning so we didn't end up in  mess. I say that because I am still capping and she her normal cheeky self rather than the monster child that took over for a while!!

Hena x

[anna*]

Thing is, she can't nap later than 3 because of the school run. But even when she naps late, we get the same. So yesterday we were out in the morning, she napped 2.30-3.30, bed at 7.30, didn't sleep til 9

[Mashi]

Anna I found that with naps at this age, capping the nap and waking DS up only made things worse.  If I woke him after an hour, he would be up until 9.  If I let him sleep as long as he needed and he slept 2h, he would be asleep by 8pm   Go figure.  IMO it is a case of sleep begets sleep, and waking him up wrecks the sleep cycle and interrupts the sleep hormones and knocks things out of whack.

[anna*]

We've no choice but to cap though, we have the school run.

[HenaV]

Then maybe you do need to work to loose the nap? Perhaps one day nap and one day NND and see how that pans out? I have no btdt experience but am sure you have, have seen this suggestion made elsewhere x