Hi Hun, welcome to the BW site. Hopefully we can help you or at least offer some advice. A few questions.
Is she currently co-sleeping with you or in her own crib/ own room?
How is she put to sleep for naps and BT? Can she go to sleep independantly? Meaning after a bed time feed you put her down fully awake and leave the room.
for the first nap I think you need to extend the A time a bit. a 1hr nap (if she's waking on her own) is typically an UT Nap. At this age it's also the time many lo's transition to 2 naps. HAve a look at some of these links.
Sleep Training - the early daysSample EASY Routines from 0 - 13mths+All about the 3-2 transition- 5/6 monthsAs for sleep training my suggestion is to start slowly but make sure you are on the same page with anyone else who may put lo to sleep or re-settle at night. So work on getting her to go to sleep on her own at naps and BT.
For the middle of the night at this age she should be able to go 4hrs between feeds. So If you feed at bedtime say 7 then the 11 feed is fine. I never did a DF ether. But then if she takes a good feed and wakes before 3 than I would resettle. I would not feed back to sleep at all. Yes she's going to be grizzly, yes there will be crying probably lots of it at first but you need to resettle with out feeding as she's using that as a prop to get back to sleep. So anytime she wakes she's going to be looking to you to feed her. Might be helpful if your partner can resettle during the night so she's not smelling your milk.
For ST So shush-pat is a good thing to do. Or you can move on to Gentle Withdrawl for naps and BT
The Gradual Withdrawal Method
The key to Gradual Withdrawal is to take tiny steps and make the changes very small at first so the child barely notices them. Create a plan, broken into small steps of how you will reduce the parental dependence and work towards independence. For example, patting on the back becomes lighter and lighter until the hand barely brushes the child's back, but is poised just above it.
To implement, follow your bedtime routine being certain that your child has sufficiently wound down from the day. When wind down is completed, lay your child down, tuck them in and use a phrase they can associate with it's sleep time such as "time to go night-night you can find your blankie/pacifier/suck your thumb/etc. to help you fall asleep." Settle your child in their crib/bed and comfort as you normally would, then implement the first step in your plan. Depending upon your child's temperament, you may be able to tackle more in less nights, or need to do less over the course of more nights.
The Gradual Withdrawal Method is intended for children that are reliant upon a parent's presence to calm them and help them settle for sleep. Examples are: sitting in the room, holding a child's hand, laying down with a child, patting to sleep, among others. The idea is to simply reduce the reliance on parental presence gradually and in very small increments so the child continues to settle well and gains confidence in their ability to fall asleep independently. The parent is there to assist the child in sleeping, but slowly reduces the dependence. Examples might be: moving a chair closer and closer to the door until out of the room over the course of a few weeks, moving out a child's bed to an air mattress on the floor, then slowly move farther and farther towards the door over time, reducing the length of time patting though still staying with the child - then slowly working closer and closer towards the door.
This is also the best method for a child:
•who's undergone controlled crying or crying it out as it helps to regain any trust that may have been broken
•who gets very upset, sometimes to the point of vomiting
•who does not settle after hours/days/weeks of walk in/walk out
