Hello Everyone,
Some background info to begin with:
I used the baby whisperer with my two other DS from the very beginning. I have the first book and "Solves all your problems" as well. I always had success with the methods, especially with getting my kids to go to sleep, on their own/for other people/ on a schedule. So I'm not a rookie to this process, but with this 3rd baby, I wanted it to be a very big priority to focus on keeping my breastmilk supply up, because that was always an issue with the other two. I never felt like I was giving them enough and by about 5-6 months switched to formula. My gut tells me that I focused so much on the "Routine" aspect, that I wouldn't have known when they were going through a growth spurt and needing to feed more vs. just a fussy day, and I most likely pushed them to stick to the routine, therefore never telling my breasts to make more. I still don't know how I am supposed to know the difference between a growth spurt and just a fussy day when the baby gets older and no longer sucks on his hands or does the other obvious signs of hunger like newborns do, but that's a different forum question. ANYWAY...
DS3 is 4.5 MO, BF only, and has been on a routine of E.A.S. since he was born, but never on a specific schedule. So, I would feed him, he'd be awake for a while, and when he showed signs of being tired, I'd put him down for a nap. This was especially necessary because I have 2 DS in school, both with different pick up and drop off times, and it was literally impossible to have a strict schedule without needing to leave in the middle of a nap or right when he needed to take one etc. Now that it's summer, I'm trying to get him on a bit of a better routine, because he tends to only take 40 min. naps, and eats every 2-3 hours. He never goes 4 hours between feeds for sure, and he's taken a 1.5 hr nap before, but never 2 hrs. I feel like usually he takes a couple of 40 min naps and one better one. If he's had an especially tiring day such as a day at the pool or running errands, lots of car rides with crying etc. he will sleep better. As far as night sleep goes, he doesn't wake up at the same time every night, so I know it's not habitual. But he does wake up anywhere from once, to 3 times. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Which tells me it's still hunger. I pretty much feed on demand right now, which is working in terms of keeping him fed, happy, gaining weight etc. I have been researching it a lot and I have read that breastmilk can be absorbed in as little as 2 hours, which makes me feel even worse for putting him on a 4 hour schedule, if he really is going to be hungry after 2-3. However, I want him to take consistent naps, and I need them to be longer than 40 minutes. (please!)
So here are my questions:
1. Are there any Mommas out there who have good advice on how to start him in the right direction?
2. As of right now, he will go down for a nap in minutes if I hold him in the position of breastfeeding for maybe 3 minutes, sometimes walking a little, sometimes just sitting in the chair, and with a paci in his mouth (most of the time...he's not a paci addict though) and then I lay him in his bed. However, he only goes to sleep on his own if I put him on his belly. The only way he goes to sleep on his back at all is if he's in the rock n play, which I put him in at night, simply because I can't put him on his belly all night long, I'd be too afraid he'd suffocate, and he won't sleep in his crib at all unless he is on his belly. He falls asleep easily in the rock and play for bedtime, but I swaddle him and put the paci in his mouth and he goes to sleep (usually) on his own. He can roll over, FYI. I think he just likes to nuzzle the bed like he would my chest if he were sleeping on me. Does anyone else have a tummy sleeper? If so, how did you do baby whisperer with that? I'm trying to do PU/PD to get him on a nap schedule, but if I flip him over once he's in the crib onto his tummy every time then #1. he is crying so hard I'm afraid he'll get tired of holding his head up, and make it harder to breath. #2. It's like it stimulates him more every time to roll him over. But he's NEVER gone to sleep on his back since the day he was born. He hates it. When he was tiny he either slept in someone's arms or the rock n play.
3. He only goes to sleep easily for me. No one else can do it. I tell people to do the exact same thing I do and he screams and cries.
4. When I'm doing PU/PD he only cries. When I pick him up, he doesn't stop crying. So I hold him for a couple of minutes and put him down anyway. I don't hold him if he's fighting me. But essentially he just cries until he's exhausted and has never fallen asleep from it. If I turn him over once he starts acting so tired that he's just whimpering he will go to sleep, but that makes me wonder if it's acting like a prop?
I want his naps to be longer and similar times each day so we have something to work around with plans
I want him to be fed when he's hungry but don't know whether he really can last 4 hours and get enough milk or not and don't want it to lower my supply if I make him wait
I want him to let someone else put him to sleep
HELP! I feel like I'm being held prisoner by my baby. I'm the only one who can feed him, the only one who can put him down, and usually he doesn't sleep long enough for me to even go to the grocery store by myself, but if I take him with me then he gets a cruddy nap. I love him, but feel so torn between schedules VS. on demand breastfeeding.
