Feeling like a rubbish mum- please help!! (6mo EASY)

[Newbie mum]

Hello, I am feeling really rubbish... Run down with a cold, baby waking again and think I need to get out and see some friends..worst of all I feel like a rubbish mum. I have tried so hard to get her to self settle etc and I think she does. But she only naps for 30mins unless we are pushing her in the pram and then she'll nap for longer. I've tried the truck of when I hear her waking , go in and put my hand on her chest and shush her back to sleep which works for about 15mins. I'm gutted. Plus she's starting not to sleep well since moving into a cot bed and is back to having a night feed. She was sleeping very well in the Moses basket and slept all through the night on 3 consecutive nights and now it's all gone to pot. I don't know what else to try. The bed us very comfy with a padded nest so she feels enclosed. She started waking at about 2330 hours and I'm not sure why. I put the dummy back in and she goes straight back to sleep- she's not done this before. She wakes at about 0200 when she was stretching this to 0430 in the Moses basket and then I'll wake on the hour from about 0400 0r 0500 needing dummy back in. She was sleeping from about 2030-0745. I'm exhausted and gutted. Feeling very tearful she turns 6 months tomorrow and its just getting worse. I'm introducing solids and perhaps she needs more food? Can someone please tell me a schedule for her and I will try to do it.
She feeds like clockwork every 4 hours and I've been watching her and she seems to last for 3 hours before he needs to sleep. Is this appropriate for her age? She loves being out and about as she naps so well in the pram and loves the stimulation if bring out.
I'm not too sure how often she should have a feed at her age of solids.. Any tips?
She is a wonderful happy girl but is quite demanding in that she wants to be played with a lot but I imagine the is just normal for a baby.
I have this thought in my mind that I am the only person in the world with a baby at 6 months who isn't napping and sleeping well... I feel awful...any help would be very gratefully appreciated.
Sorry for the ramble.. I just want to be a good mum to her.

[jessmum46]

Lots of (((hugs))), you are not a rubbish mum. If you were, you wouldn't care so much . And you are far from the only mum of a six month old who doesn't sleep well!

Ok, when you say you think she goes to sleep independently, could you just clarify what you mean? Can you put her down in bed fully awake and she gets herself to sleep with no help? Or does she use a paci, patting, rocking etc?

3h A time is about right for a six month old but 30 minute naps are suggestive of OT. Could you post a recent day or two in EAS format please?

Where ultimately do you want her to take her naps?  If you're happy with the pram, that's fine, but if you want to get her to be able to sleep well in her cot, you will possibly need to do some sleep training to achieve that.  It's also worth being aware that LOs who sleep very well in their cots often won't sleep as well out and about, it's not universally true but both mine have been that way.  Great for when you're at home but can be trickier to get out and about.

Just some food for thought

[Newbie mum]

hello *jessmum* that you so much for your reply 
Regarding her going to sleep. I put her into her cot, we sing a bedtime song (always the same one) and I read her to sleep. She does have a dummy and I think she does need it to go to sleep with. Is that self settling? She sometimes likes to hold my finger as she drops off but I am trying to replace my finger for one of her rabbit toys.
With naps, it is great that she can sleep on the go and she sleeps well in the car (hope I haven't jinxed that) so I wouldn't want that to change. I'd like her to sleep better and for longer at home so that I can have chance to do some work and something around the house, and even just have a few minutes to myself. She is always so very happy after a good sleep so I know that it is good for her too.
The only real EASY schedule we have is keeping the food/milk away from sleep and feeding at 4 hours, the rest is a bit rough. Last night she did sleep much better. She was asleep at about 2040, awoke, not sure why at 0130 and went straight back to sleep when I put the dummy in. Then woke at 0400 for a feed and for the first time only drank 3/4 of her bottle (but had eaten a lot of solids during the day). Then:
Awake: 0850 (normally she wakes at 0745)
E:(BF) 0900
A
E: porridge 1000ish
A
Nap in pram 1215. Slept for an hour and would have slept longer but woke when I got home as I have to lift pram down steps.
E: solids (sweet potato) 1300
A
E: BF 1355 (I normally do BF then solids about an hour later but this time the other way around as I'm not sure if she needs so much milk now she's having solids?)
A
E: 1645 solid puree
A:
E:formula bottle 2030
A: quiet activity
Asleep 1950 (bit earlier than normal as she didn't have her afternoon cat nap)
Normally she has three naps a day.
This is all higgledly-piggledy isn't it? Any help would be really gratefully appreciated please.
Like I said she has been feeding 4 hourly on the dot when it was just milk, but now she is taking solids too I'm not sure how to factor that in.
Thanks so much.

[Newbie mum]

sorry I missed out a sleep
she had another 1 hours nap (approx) from about 1115-1215 again in the pram and again would have stayed asleep if we had stayed out.

[jessmum46]

Sorry I'm not quite sure when she slept 11.25-12.15 and then another one in the afternoon?

It is pretty tricky to try to tweak and interpret routines and nap lengths when LO isn't a fully independent sleeper. She has a number of things going on which could well be props - the motion of the pram, your presence and the paci.  If she falls asleep with those things, when she stirs and they are no longer there (you not in room, paci fallen out, pram not moving) then she will wake fully instead of drifting back to sleep.

I think if you want her to sleep better in her cot, you'll have to invest time in some sleep training. If she can replug her own paci or you want to use this as an opportunity to get rid of it, then you could use PUPD. Otherwise you may need to stick with shh pat for now as you can't use PUPD with you putting the paci in for her.  I can't promise however that if you work hard at cot naps that her sleeping out and about won't be affected....but some people do have success with naps in different places.

What are your thoughts?

[Newbie mum]

Hello, yes on the day I posted she did only have two naps of one hour each. Since ai last posted something big has changed (hoping it is here to stay). For the last three days she has taken over 2 hour naps in her cot in the afternoon!! And this morning had an hour and a half morning nap in there too. I'm not sure why this has happened. A few things are different.
1, she is starting her day at 0700. 2, I am giving her a longer A time before sleep, 3, she is eating lots of solids (has a very good appetite). 4, on the first day of me doing it I took her out in her pram 2.5ish hours after she awoke in the morning (after milk and porridge) and she was asleep at about 3 hours and I kept walking for an hour as I read that the morning nap is very important in getting the others to hopefully follow (?) and I did this on day 2 and both times she then had a really good nap in her cot in the afternoon (first day 2hours 20mins, second 2hours and keeping my fingers crossed for today.
Can you tell me a bit more about the ideal way for her to go to sleep independently please. I am starting to try to read to her when she is awake and let her fall asleep without the sound of my voice. I used a white noise machine that we were given when she was born and forgot about it, and that seems to calm and settle her. What do you think?
She is still wanting one night feed but I think this is normal at her age? I would like to get rid of it as she gets a bit of a windy tummy if she doesn't burp well and I find it hard to burp her in the middle of the night so this morning she woke at abot 0600 with a windy tum. I think 6 month is a growth spurt age too so that might be why she so hungry too.
Thanks a lot for your help 

[Newbie mum]

One other thing (sorry).. Now that she is having some solids she is not always hungry for milk at 4 hours like before (often an hour or so later) so should I still offer milk at 4 hours or let her tell me when she is hungry? As I know milk should be her primary food still. Thank you

[jessmum46]

Great news about the longer naps!!

White noise is a great idea if it helps soothe her. It's a 'good' prop if you know what I mean. I guess total independent sleep would be that you are able to put her down in her cot fully awake (after a winddown) and leave the room, and she would settle herself to sleep. That's something you can work towards gradually though if you want to, but it sounds like what you are doing currently is working nicely

At this age milk doesn't need to be strictly at 4h intervals. I just fed DD at WU, after each nap and BT with solids an hour after each feed (except the BT one obviously).  You're right that a night feed would still be fairly normal at this age - are you bottle or breastfeeding?

[Newbie mum]

Hello, I do a combination of bf and bottle. First two feeds of the day are breast and last two formula. Her feed over night is bottle. I'm going to try and see if she will take less milk tonight and if so I'm going to try and start reducing the volume with the view to possibly weaning her from the over night  feed. Main reason is that I find it hard to burp her at night and then hours later she will get wind which wakes her up. Do you have any experience with this? She has slept through the night 3or 4 times on consecutive nights when in her Moses basket but since she's gone into her cot bed she's back having this night feed. When she slept through I had also given her some porridge before bed but when we moved her to the cot bed it gave her wind- bit odd. Now she's having lots if solids I might try porridge before bed again? Would love to have a crystal ball!

[jessmum46]

Sorry no particular experience with gassiness at night, although the introduction of solids is something that can definitely exacerbate any digestive issues. It's up to you about porridge at night - lots of people do it but others find solids too late in the day causes more upset tummies in the early morning. Don't forget there is a huge growth spurt at six months - your increased night wakings could well be to do with that rather than moving rooms (I presume she was with you until 6 months as per SIDS guidance?). Has her milk intake dropped at all since starting solids? Do you offer solids after milk or before?  Have you introduced proteins yet? Milk should still be the main source of nutrition at this age so just something else to consider

[Newbie mum]

Hello, I have a feeling that her wind might be due to silent reflux and I'm going to try a small dose of gaviscon in the bottle tonight. Touching every piece of wood available, her day time naps are going great: 1h20m in the morning, about 2 hours after lunch, and about 20-30mins cat nap between 5 and 6 which I think is what the BW advises so she should be able to sleep through the night? Interesting to hear about the growth spurt, I forgot about that. She hasn't dropped any of her milk feeds- feeding 4 times in the day and once over night and is eating solids very well. She enjoys breakfast and lunch but doesn't always have a big appetite for supper. I just gave her milk this evening, which she was happy with, in case like you said, food might be upsetting her tummy. I offer milk first, which she has 4 hourly and then about an hour later she has her solids- does that sound right? The only protein she has had so far is a small amount of chicken yesterday.
She woke up early this morning, I think because  of bottom end wind and I had to feed her to go back to sleep, which she did do for a bit. I thought her night sleeping would follow nicely when her day time sleep became predictable but it doesn't seem to be the case, which is why I think there might be a problem such as a return of her silent reflux. I also wonder if the feed is becoming a 'habit' as she seems to be waking around 0200 for the feed (eyes closed asleep at about 2020-2030hours). But like you said, it could be a growth spurt. Sorry this has become a bit if a ramble...thank you so much for all of your replies and help.

[jessmum46]

Sorry she has problems with reflux   fingers crossed the Gaviscon helps a little though watch out for constipation.  Milk then solids an hour later is perfect.

Her naps sound great! For a baby who is at least partly breastfed, it is very common to still have a night feed at this age. DD dropped hers at 7 months (she was EBF) but many others have a feed for a bit longer.  Something you may need to start watching out for though is the 3-2 nap transition. She's about the right age to begin to drop the CN so I would suggest you have a read here so you know what you're looking for: All about the 3-2 transition- 5/6 months

[Newbie mum]

That's very interesting about dropping the CN- she does show some of those signs so I think she will soon be heading that way. Unfortunately her night sleeping is getting a bit worse due to a windy/upset tummy. She is still waking for just one feed but predictably a few hours later will start with a windy, gripey tummy that will wake her up (sorry, I think I mentioned to before..bit tired now!).. And then a few times after that aswel. I'm not sure it is the reflux any more and wonder if it is just because of the solids she is eating? Or is there anything else that might happen at this age that could cause it? I would dearly love to know how to help her as she doesn't want much attention when she wakes, she just wants to break wind and then goes back to sleep...I wish I could help her.

[jessmum46]

I can't think of anything else, solids would be probably top of my list. Is she really distressed when she wakes - as in do you need to intervene to help?  What solids is she on? Do you notice the wind is worse with anything in particular?

[Newbie mum]

Hello, yes, I think you are correct and it might have been the solid foods causing the tummy upset. I read some advice on the feeding section which made me think I might have been pushing the solids a bit too fast. So I gave breakfast (her appetite is huge at breakfast time) and lunch and missed out supper and kept her up longer after her last milk of the day (plus gave a dose of infacol) and am so pleased that she work up around midnight for a feed and then straight back to sleep until 0720! It might have been a one off treat but hopefully it continues. I've asked on the feeding section if her waking for her night feed earlier and earlier signifies anything? And whether I should try a dream feed or perhaps that is too late now? Do you have any thoughts on this?
Keeping fingers, toes and anything else crossed that tonight goes as well, and if the naps continue I'll be one happy mummy!,,
Thank you so much for all of your tips and advice- you've helped me tremendously