Set naps and working through EASY with second bubba!

[lil_ginge]

Hi everyone,

I was just wondering if anyone else found that a classic EASY was a little tricky with your second?

DS is 14 weeks old, he has silent reflux and some gas issues (which has already meant we have had to go with the flow a bit and not be as precious about a classic EASY) and DD is just turning 3. She has decided wonderfully progressed into dropping her afternoon nap most days(!) but I am trying to keep some "quiet time" around when she would have napped (1.30-3ish) for sanity.

Here's the thing...

- Firstly, there are 3 mornings a week we need to be at groups/things for 10am (right when DS would be taking his chunky morning nap!)

- Secondly, DS is pushing his way towards a 4 hour EASY and really extending his A times by himself. I am proud of my little camper but it's meant that DD goes down for quiet time as DS wakes up for feed and playtime - and I will admit, I AM NOT HARDCORE.... 45 mins-1 hour's "Y" time to chop veg/have a cuppa/go for a wee *in peace* would be glorious...

DS is now able to mostly self soothe himself off for his naps and BT since being medicated. It doesn't always work and as I say - it can go wonky due to his medical issues...

So - has anyone else been in the same boat? Did you adapt an EASY or just go forth and see what happened or did anyone try enforce some set naps?

My sis in law has always found the Gina Ford set routine style helpful. I noticed that her children had a short nap in the morning before groups started and a chunky nap in the daytime... but I am also nervous of OT and  stretching my LO beyond what's necesary. I would love him to have healthy restorative sleep - but I also don't feel it's fair to stay in all morning and axe the rest of family life.

Due to DS's reflux stuff he rarely makes it till 7am (more like 6am-6.30am start!)

Any ideas of what I could do to balance family life and his sleep needs?

Was wondering whether working towards a bodged EASY like this may be an idea?

E: 6.30 am ish
A
S: 8.30-9.30 nap (45 min - 1 hr?)
A
E: 10 am ish
A
S: 11.30 - 12.15 ish (CN really?)
A
E: 1.15 ish
A
S: 2 - 4 ish
E: 4 ish
A
S: 6 / 6.30 BT   (This seems REALLY early but maybe it would stretch to 7 as his A times increased?!)

I feel nervous really about stepping away from what I know and love (following cues and an EASY as BW suggests) but I also am seeing that this can't quite work this time round unless we stop lots of stuff and I go without any break all day..

Would love advice and help!

Much love
Claire xxx

[jessmum46]

You're my BW 'twin'!  DS here is nearly 14 weeks and I have a slightly younger but non-napping DD 2y8m fun isn't it!

I have also been wondering about aiming for a longer lunchtime nap with shorter naps either side as I agree that does work better with an older LO and getting out and about. I think your possible routine looks ok but you may find LO is too tired after two short naps to do a good long nap in the afternoon, so perhaps a long lunchtime nap would be better? The thing I've found with DD is that quiet time can be flexible if she's not sleeping, so you could just have her doing that once you've got DS down rather than trying to fit DSs routine around her iyswim?

I guess the thing to bear in mind is BW principles - respect for your LO, following cues ie not keeping a tired LO awake to keep to a schedule, but combining that with possibly a bit more structure to fit the needs of the family. So perhaps that might eventually be a relatively set first nap and waking by 9.45/10am, but then say adjusting nap 2 based on how the morning went and then being a bit more flexible about a CN and BT. 

I'm thinking of it as a bit of a 'work in progress'.  My feeling is before 5/6 months anyway being too set about timings will probably get a bit messy. But would be very interested to know what you think!

[lil_ginge]

Hooray and eek!

O boy - your DD dropped her nap before ours did. I salute you (though we should have really helped her ease out that nap before now but this pregnant lady was too tired to go there, so we had a serenading hour at her bedtime through the monitor - doh!)

That does sound like a wise plan. I could see how that would be a better fit for getting a chunky nap in - I guess if its an earlier midday nap, its just whether we'd get much Y/quiet time with getting back from group and lunch etc all in there... Hmmf! Trial and error maybe?!

What would you be aiming for as a long nap? The usual 2 hrs or more than that?

I guess as they get older the A times will push that lunchtime nap back a bit anyway to help keep them going rest of day (avoiding a 6 o clock BT!?)

I love your way of putting it. Set nap to start with BW principles. See I am with you in that a complete schedule set would be too much no doubt for LO... And I need to work with him and his cues as his s.reflux mixes things up daily anyway!

Thanks for your thoughts hun x

[lil_ginge]

Also - if you don't mind me asking ... What do you do for quiet time?!

My dd is currently happy to sit in her cot and take a cuddly toy or two in. I hear her role playing with them or singing to them. I suppose when we change it into a bed this will change ... I know if I keep her down with me atm she won't play quietly away from mummy... She is going through a more challenging phase at no since her bro arrived. Poor lass is adjustin and if I am there wants your entire focus ALL the time. She is a beautiful little girl... And she's so into everything she doesn't stop till BT!
 

[jessmum46]

Yes I think I'd aim for 2h but would be happy for it to go longer. No way I'd be waking LO!!

Quiet time - DD goes in her room and sits in/on her bed (BGB) with loads of books, her teddies, and a "quiet time bag" which has things like stickers, paper, colouring, threading cards, Russian dolls, aquamagic pictures etc etc. Took her a little while to get used to but she will usually now occupy herself for an hour or more

[lil_ginge]

I am unashamedly going to nab that goodie bag idea ... Genius!

Got hold of my sis in laws contented baby book today. Though all looks great on paper for getting out and about etc - the A times (IMO) were pretty high. 3 hour sleep total for the day with a hopeful 2.15 - 7.00 A time (unless I'm reading that wrong) so I think a mash up of the CN either side of a long nap and following cues is where I feel comfortable going.

Would love to follow any updates as you see how you're tweaking goes!

[jessmum46]

Great, will keep you posted

[lil_ginge]

Hi again!

Just wondering what you're doing about E times. - The CN's end up making E"s less consistent(vary throughout day).

Hmm...

[jessmum46]

Hmm I've been pondering it.....I think it would probably work ok with feeds 3.5-4h apart once A times are long enough for a decent three nap day. Something like 7, 10.30/11, 2.30/3ish and BT or possibly 2/5/BT?