2 year old sleep problems.. still not sttn!

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi guys..

I really need some help in regards to my 2 year old sons sleeping. I have stopped co sleeping since last Friday and moved him into his own room in a bed with a side rail.
He has had sleep issues since he was around 6 months old but i am now pregnant with baby number 2 so really need a good bedtime routine  and him sttn.
His routine for the day is
Wu 7-8
Nap 2-4
BT 8-9

He usually gets ready for bed in his own room, lies in bed and i sit beside his bed until he goes to sleep which can take up to 30-40 mins. He then wakes up once or twice a night n as soon as i go to his room he gets back in bed and tells me to sit next to him so he can go to sleep. I would ideally like to put him in bed and say goodnight and walk out. I feel like i have become a prop again. It would help of someone could gv me some advice on how to gt him to become an independent sleeper.

Thanks

From an exhausted mama

[violagal]

Hi ismaelelsmummy,
I feel your tiredness BUT I have just managed this feat with my 23month old. I used to have to lie down next to his cot and hold his hand through the bars to get him to sleep but decided enough was enough as DS2 arrived in July.
I used a gradual withdrawal method and last and tonight were the first two nights we put him to bed wide awake and walked out the room and he put himself to sleep. It CAN be done!!

Here's my thread - Need Gradual Withdrawal Plan for 23m old

[Buntybear]

You are doing really well! I would just be moving further and further away from his bed now until you are outside the door. Use your voice to sooth him. xx

[HenaV]

Hi!

Have a look at this link re: gradual withdrawal. Given your LO has not slept independently previously you will IMO have to do GW to teach him to sleep independently.

Have a look and see what you think:
Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

Hena

[ismaeelsmummy]

Thanks for the tips.

I tried moving further away last night but he started crying for me to sit back where i was before He doesn't miss anything 

Shall i just move then sooth him with my voice n if he gets out just put him straight back.

[Buntybear]

Just move a little bit away then if he can't handle any more. It is up to you. I was always a softie and it took me weeks to get out but I know others would be by the door and soothing with their voice! Def use your voice as this will work outside his room too. Do you have a sleepy phrase?

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi i have moved out of the room and im sat on the landing outside his door with the door open.

Everytime i have moved further away he has always looked up over his safety rail to check if im still here.. at least 3-4 times. Its taking him 40mins or more to settle himself as he still looking for me.

I moved outside his door today and he did resist abit but i kept walking him back to bed and finally he gt the message.

I am quite concerned as he is still looking for me even though i am sat outside and still seems really dependant on my presence.
How will he become an independent sleeper if im still sat here and hes still looking for me. He wakes in the middle of the night just to tell me to sit on the floor. Have i become a prop?
What is the next step?

Sorry if i sound really negative but I'm  just confused. And tired. Please help.

[HenaV]

Well done for getting out of the room, good work mamma!!

I've not done GW myself but as I've seen from other posts/ advice, the idea once you're out of the room is to offer reassurance by voice. So once out of the room, I would think the next stage would be for him not to be able to see you, but for you to speak I him to reassure him.

Hena

[Buntybear]

Hi, agree with Hena. Keep any intervention from yourself to a minimum. Don't respond every time he calls out. I'll be honest at 4.5 YO Olly still wants us to stand outside his door