Wean off soother - 1 year old

[Canadian Nat]

Hello All

I'll be moving into a new house soon and want to wean a 1 year old off soother when we're all settled.  She will be slightly over 1 when I want to do this.  She only has the soother for naps and bedtime.  She doesn't have it any other time in the day.  She isn't used to going to sleep at all without the soother.  She doesn't seem to have any other things she likes to use to self soother apart from holding a muslin when I pop her soother in.

Any advice now on how to wean or should I post back when I'm actually ready to do it (which may be in about 1-2months)? 

Thanks.

[Ima shel Alon]

I am going to pop you over to the toddler sleep board .

[Lolly]

I tried to get rid of DD's soother when she was about 1 - massive fail, I ended up giving it back to her. The trouble with older babies/ toddlers is that the soother is a real comfort item now, not a prop like it can be when they are younger. It's actually good that she is only having it for sleep times as that is half the battle. In my experience you need to get rid of it when they are under 6 months or leave it until they can understand that it's going, my DD had just turned 3 when hers went.

The way we got rid of it was to limit it to sleep times only and then the dummy fairy came and took them after a good few months of mentioning it and talking about it, she got a toy in exchange. As your LO is only having it for sleep I think the only way to get rid of it is cold turkey, you just need to throw them all out and ride out a few tough days/ nights while she adjusts. You can try and introduce another lovie/ toy when you do, sleep with something for a few nights first so it smells of you and will be more comforting for her.

If there is no medical or health reason for getting rid of it though, I would wait until she is older - I'm a chicken like that

Laura

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Tbh personally I would not even attempt it at that age if it is only used for naps & night, esp with a move happening. We waited until DD1 was 2.5 or so and it went super smoothly as she had more understanding by then. The muslin makes a good lovey though, so at least there is that, you could also take lo to a store and see if any other lovey type toys catch her eye. I would expect it to be a rough few days/nights and to be firm in your resolve to follow through (perhaps some earplugs might help) as going through it just to give them back would be hard and a one year old would have some staying power depending on temperment! (Guess I should add my two soother kids are very spirited so would have been a battle!).

[Canadian Nat]

Thanks for moving me to the right place!

Thanks Laura and Heidi for your replies.  I'm really interested to find that you both think waiting until she is older to do it is better.  I get what you're saying, I suppose I just wonder how we'll train her to sleep without it when she is that much older.  But it makes me feel better, the thought of not taking it away from her now.  It was bugging me...The feeling that if I took it away from her now, she has absolutely no idea what to do without it and I would really feel for her.  She'd be so unhappy and miserable.  As you say, it is good that she likes to hold the muslin.  Maybe when she is that much older, she might be persuaded to just cuddle that.  But I'm not sure about the practicalities of how I would make her go to sleep without the soother when she is say 2 or older.  But I guess I can write back then?!

Many thanks for your replies.  I think we'll leave the weaning for now then...

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

The thing is a 2.5/3 year old can understand that they have outgrown the need for it (not that they will like giving it up!) say by using something like the soother fairy idea where they trade in their soothers for some type of lovey so the fairy can give them to babies who need them. A one year old will just be mad lol and not see reason!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I just saw your other sleep post and was wondering - can she replug on her own? I taught my DD around 6/7 months and she has about a dozen soothers in her crib (half glow in the dark) so she can always find one if she wakes.

[Canadian Nat]

Thanks both!

I get what you're saying about them understanding more when they're older.  I'll brace myself for then.

As for replugging herself,  she can do it occasionally but the majority of the time -especially at night- she just cries for help. I don't know if it's choice or inability to do that is the reason she doesn't do it every time she needs it...

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I wonder if it is more of a habit now? I spent loads of A time with mine practising finding and plugging in (sometimes in the crib, sometimes in the living room).  I will go re-read your sleep thread and post there as it is kind of more do to with that!

[Canadian Nat]

Thanks Heidi.

[Lolly]

My DD had slept every night since she was a week or so old with the soother when we took it away (I say we, it was actually my DH when I was away on a residential course with work - he'd always hated them!). She had her pink bunnies that she loved and a fisher price musical nightlight seahorse which helped of course, the first night it took her a bit longer to get to sleep but she only asked for it the next couple of mornings, then she just forgot about it.

It will go better than you expect, but you don't need to worry for a while! I will say though that my DD did wake us in the night if she woke and couldn't fine one so she did start sleeping more soundly when it was gone. Although now we get shouted for when she can't find the wretched seahorse .

Laura