Bedtime nightmare

[Adelheid]

What use to be a fairly quick process has recently turned into a 30-45min ordeal! Bedtime! Argh 

My LO is nearly 1 and seems to be sooooo needy when going to sleep. What can I do?
He transitioned to his own room and a wooden crib about two weeks ago (no more travel cribs) and now seems to only be able to fall asleep if I'm holding his hand and rubbing it.
He wakes frequently at night too as he is still adjusting to his bed, I think. But its the falling asleep that drives me crazy.

Our routine use to be fairly straight forward. I sing a few songs, plop him in bed, shush him while leaving a hand on his back and voila! Within minutes he'd be fast asleep. I assume me touching him is a prop to his sleep, but we have been in so much transition this past year, I didn't mind him feeling reassured at night.

Anyway, now he rolls around his bed, dead tired and won't fall asleep unless I hold his hand or rub his back or whatever.
Often, I leave the room and let him cry for a bit hoping he'll get tired and fall asleep. But, it never works. -Maybe I need to wait longer?

Any suggestions of what to do? My husband and I are up for changing how we put him down, but we don't know what to do.

He is on a one nap schedule now, so perhaps I should bump up his bedtime?
W/u between 7-8am (lately even as late as 8:30)
Nap from 12-2 (sometimes 2:30)
Bedtime 8pm

[*Ali*]

Often, I leave the room and let him cry for a bit hoping he'll get tired and fall asleep. But, it never works. -Maybe I need to wait longer?

No, please don't wait longer! Here at BW we are against leaving LO to cry alone as Tracy felt it broke the bond of trust between LO and parent. There has been a lot of change for your LO so he needs your help to learn the new way of going to sleep.

Since it doesn't sound like he has ever been an independent sleeper and he is probably fearful from being left to cry I would suggest gradual withdrawal. You could try just holding a hand on his back and removing it a little earlier over several days and then just sit by the bed and use your voice. Check out this link for more info. Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

I would also try an earlier  BT as that last A time is really long and he may be OT by the time he goes to bed. Unless you think he is low sleep needs?

[weaver]

Totally agree with Ali, please don't leave him to cry, apart from the impact on him, it's just not going to work in any sustainable way.

won't fall asleep unless I hold his hand or rub his back or whateve

then hold his hand, rub his back or whatever.  Then you do GW as Ali suggested, building his trust and enabling him to do it on his own.  I'm afraid all LOs go through stages where they will go to bed without a fuss, and stages where they will make a great big fuss about it.  It's just part of their growing up.  You can expect easy bedtimes and tough ones for a good few years to come.

[Adelheid]

OK! I will give that a shot!
I sat with him for over an hour tonight before my husband took over and got him to fall asleep. Argh....
The weird thing is at nap time, i put him down, say good night, and walk out. He fusses, a quick protest, but no more than that. I peek through the door and he's usually shifting about trying to fall asleep. That's it.
At night the slightest movement towards the door makes him burst into tears.

What can I do about the night? I assume, he'll get use to the bed and sleep better at some point? I did put him to bed at 7pm last night, but unfortunately he then started his day at 6am this morning after keeping me up ALL night. At least I was able to squeeze a second nap in today because of the early start.

And yes, this is his first time in his "own" room. We have been staying with people for various work-related projects and have spent the entire last year with him sleeping in his travel crib next to us.

[*Ali*]

I would just keep staying with him (rubbing his back or whatever) until he falls asleep and then work on gradual withdrawal to get out the room.