No real pattern - does our EASY need help - 7 mo

[Cvbaby2014]

We have always had an LO with a mind of his own!  His wake up times both first thing and in the middle of the night have never shown much of a pattern.  From 4-6 months I wasn't too concerned as we needed to get his weight up (he is BF) - now he is on the right track and doing with with solids which we started a month ago.  He isn't on a feeding schedule - I BF, offer solids about half an hour after, and BF again within 1 activity cycle.
Our issue is that he wakes up at totally random times.  He is in bed by 7PM, falling asleep withing 10-15 mins.  From then on... he wakes anytime between 9:30PM and 4:30AM (we have had one 7-7 night last week).  He sometimes settles with no feed if he wakes between 9:30PM and 12AM.
I think we are also in the 3-2 nap transition.  He needs more than 2hr 45 A time - but he does nap if we put him down a bit early in the morning if we need to force in a nap due to something we need to go out for.
If he has a NW around the 4AM time he seems to wake up at a reasonable time for the day. 

He has been able to fall asleep by himself for a few months so we are also lucky with that.
One more thing to note is - he has been waking up super early - but is usually happy in the crib - so I leave him as long as possible.  I find I have to start his A time from the time he leaves the crib and the lights turn on - not the time that he is actually awake.
I will post a few EASYs below to see if anyone can spot anything :

awake for the day : 635
S 9:15-1030
S 125-300
S tried nap at 445 (didnt work)
Bed at 655
NW 400 (fed)

awake from 630, out of crib at 7
S 1020-1215  (long awake time due to being out)
S 305-345
Bed at 7PM
NW 4AM (fed)

awake from 715
S 950-1015 (car nap - post swimming lesson)
S 115-345
Bed at 7PM
NW 1045 (fed)

awake from 530, out of crib at 615
S 840-940 (got him down early as we had a baby program which meant leaving the house at 10)
S 1140-120
S 405-440
Bed at 7PM
NW 1030 (settled, no feed)
NW 430AM  (with feed)

awake from 700
S 950-1100
S 150-300
Bed at 7PM
NW 1030 - tried to settle for 30 mins, then fed.  still put to bed awake
awake from 530  - 615 in crib happy.  fell back asleep until 645

[jessmum46]

A couple of things.....firstly I wonder how you're feeling about feeding to resettle at night?  Totally fine if you're fine with it just strikes me that those 10pm ish wakings are probably not hunger given he's perfectly happy to manage until 4am other nights.  If it were me.....and in fact it was a couple of months ago .....I would persist in settling that waking without a feed.  Turns out that here although DS was settling independently at BT we had a bit of a NW feed thing going on without me even realising.  When I persisted with settling that 10pm waking pretty much disappeared or became much easier to resettle if I had to intervene at all.

Second thing - I think you could pretty much be on 2 naps really.  He looks like he needs more than 2h40-50 to get a good nap in.  I would give the A time a bump to 3h if you can (you've had some good naps with longer A times) and use EBT rather than a CN unless it's a total disaster day.

Lastly - I know you say there's no consistency in WU time, but I notice you're not necessarily reinforcing a consistent WU either (not a criticism just an observation).  For example he woke almost the same time on the first two days you posted, one day you got him straight up, the next he was in the crib 30 mins.  The following day he slept in, then you got an EW and got him out of the crib much earlier than any of the previous three days.  So I guess what I'm saying is do you have an ideal WU time in mind?  So say 7 is the ideal but you'd accept 6.30am, I would personally leave him in the crib until 6.30am (or sit with him in dark if upset), but get him up if he wakes any time from 6.30am on.  And wake him by 7am if he's not woken.  May just help establish more of a rhythm to your day?  What do you think?

[Cvbaby2014]

Thanks for the reply!
If he wakes before midnight, I do try to resettle....but admit that I give up after half an hour or so.  He settles quickly if he isn't hungry...well that seemed to be the pattern up to this point.  Last night he woke at 1230....at that point I fed as I figured it had been 6 hours since a feed and he was probably hungry...and it did seem as though he was.

I think my issue with not feeding is that from 4-6 months we were so concerned with getting his weight up that we took every opportunity to feed, and I worry that maybe his feed before bedtime wasn't enough for him...perhaps he was too tired to get enough milk from me etc.
How do I know if he is really hungry?!

For the mornings, ideally I wait till 645 if he seems happy, ideally 7am would be the wake up time, but as I am on Mat Leave, I have no incentive to wake him if he sleeps in!  If I get him before 645, it is because he is upset.  Which is odd for him as he is usually happy in the crib, so if he is unhappy I think it is hunger.

[jessmum46]

The hunger question is always difficult.  I guess I would never say to go against your instinct, if you think he is hungry then definitely feed him.  Just sometimes it helps to sit back a little and try to be a bit objective about things.  A night feed at this age is totally normal, I would just have thought that if he can manage perfectly fine to 4am a lot of nights, it makes sense that a random 10pm waking probably isn't hunger.  If you're nervous about it you could try a tactic I used - simply not to feed earlier than I had the previous night.  So night one his feed was 23.15, night 2 he woke at 22.00, 22.20, 22.45 and I resettled each time.  Finally he woke at 23.15 ie the same time as previous night.  I tried one more resettle thinking at least I'd have pushed on the feed 15 mins....and he next woke at 3.30am!  So I knew even though he didn't settle easily, hunger wasn't really the issue. 

[Cvbaby2014]

Any tips on how to resettle?  Last night again he woke at 11pm...having woken at 330 the previous night.  And then he woke at 430 again....so I actually needed up feeding twice.  I tried holding till he was calm and then putting him back in the crib a few times and he cried almost instantly.  Because he can fall asleep by himself I do try and leave him to see if he settles but he doesn't seem to be able to at these earlier wake ups.   When I do feed...he is down awake, wide awake, and he falls asleep by himself.

My husband also tries to settle...he has more staying power than me, but we give up after 30-40 mins as by then we are pretty sure he is just getting even more wound up.  Sometimes he falls asleep for a minute but reawakens.

Should we stick at it for a week and commit to having bad sleeps ourselves just to get him through this?
My downfall right now is that I know I can feed for 10 mins, leave him, and he falls asleep by himself vs.  Me trying to settle him unsuccessfully for an unknown length of time.

[jessmum46]

Honestly only you can answer that question.  If you aren't ready to see it through, don't start - it's not fair to either of you . But if you are ready to tackle that waking, then I would expect a few days to a week would be all it would take.  I initially tried picking my DS up but it seemed to actually make things escalate.  So I would just make sure he had his lovey (worth introducing one if you don't have one) and then stroke his head and shh until he was calm.  Then left him to it unless it escalated again.  I think from experience you have to get out of the mindset of trying to 'put' them to sleep if you see what I mean, and just allow them to do it on their own, whilst providing a reassuring presence.  What do you think?