New to the forum so I apologize if I don't know all the lingo. I am at my wits end with our 15 week DS. He is exclusively BF and has had trouble sleeping since the beginning. He has never slept through the night. The longest we got once or twice was 4.5-5hours. We tried the car, swing, rocking chair and each worked for a while but then would fail. Lately we were rocking him either in our arms and singing while he would burrow his head in our elbow or we would rock him in a pillow so he would feel like he had something around him. If after he fell asleep I held him the whole time he would sleep 1-2hours but then obviously I was stuck. Often he would wake up as soon as he was put down except when he was asleep on the pillow but then I had to watch him constantly too because I was afraid of leaving him in a pillow. At night even at 14 weeks he was nursing at least twice at around 2am and 4-5am and after the 4am feed he would just not go to sleep unless he fell asleep on my chest and again once I put him down he would often wake up which led to almost no sleep for me as I have a hard time falling asleep once woken even if I am exhausted.
We decided to try PU/PD and shush pat 6 days ago after reading Tracy's BW books. I also started implementing the EASY 3-hour routine. The first time I did PU/PD it was awful and it went on for about an hour but eventually he fell asleep in his crib which has never happened before. By the end of the first day it only took 18min and he was sleeping in his crib the whole time. For his two naps he would wake up after about 45min but then I would use PU/PD and he would go down again for another 45min-1hr. The second day the morning nap was amazing and it took me only 1 minute of shush and pat to get him to fall asleep. The later two naps took a bit more effort and I did have to PU/PD but he would still be down within 10min or less so I was amazed at his progress.He was finally sleeping in his crib and he learned so quickly to settle! I felt like I really was successful and learned more about him too by implementing EASY. realized that we had been treating his 45min naps as normal and picking him up to play as soon as he cried but really he was still tired. By using PU/PD I felt like we successfully extending his naps to 2h total duration with a few PU/PD in the middle. I also learned to act instantly when he was tired and would put him down after the first yawn or eye rub. He was doing so well until the last two days...
On Sunday evening after 4 days of EASY and starting PU/PD we decided to try to work on the night time feeds because we realized he was waking habitually at exactly 2:30am even after having 6-7 feeds in the day and we figured he was not really requiring the extra feed but just nursing for comfort and to help him fall back asleep. So as per BW and Tracy's advice we decided to use PU/PD to help him learn to sleep at night. So at 2:30am Monday morning I did PU/PD for 28min. He fell asleep but he woke up every 40-45min after that and each time I did PU/PD but only for about 2min and he would fall back asleep. The following day was a nightmare. I hadn't slept since 2am and could not get any rest and he was exhausted too. He fed at 7am and pretty much followed all the suggested 3h EASY times but he would yawn right after feeding and his A times were not as perky and happy as usual. He would not nap easily. Now PU/PD seemed to infuriate him and his cries went from slightly annoyed last week to that shrieking painful bloody murder scream as if I was killing him. He could not fall asleep nor could he stay asleep. His first nap was 31min, then I did PU/PD for what seemed like an eternity and he slept another 41min. For his second nap I literally jiggled his crib mattress and patted him for 2 hours straight and it was still extremely difficult as he woke up multiple times and cried like crazy and I felt my arms would fall off from all the jiggling/patting while standing bent over the crib. He never had a cat nap yesterday but we ended up putting him down at 7pm. He only slept 17min and woke up. Then would not go down till 9pm. I nursed him first at 9 and then he was still awake but DH did PU/PD and he fell asleep. DH also did the dream feed at 11pm with milk I had pumped and DS woke up at 2:30am right on schedule. I caved in and fed him and he slept till 5:50am after that. I actually heard him grumble and fall asleep on his own 3 times but each time he would startle within 5min and wake up until eventually at 6:30am he cried so I went to get him up.
Today he has had such trouble napping like never before. And shush-pat seems not to work anymore at all. It only infuriates him more. I have not changed anything about my technique but as soon as I try he just goes crazy, starts arching, I put him down, pick up, and he can't even settle in my arms unless I take him in my arms and walk out of the room. When he is out of the room he gets distracted by the hallway and calms down. I put down immediately and he just goes crazy again. The only thing that works now to calm him is either walking out of the room or jiggling his mattress springs while he is down. His first nap today was 25min ONLY! It has never been this bad before. I could not for the life of me put him back to sleep no matter what I did. PU/PD did not work. He was just wide awake and even laid in his crib with me out of the room for 30min without complaining. When it was time to feed I fed him and of course he was exhausted again for all of A, yawning within 10min of eating. I kept him up though and then when he was really looking tired I put him down. I actually sang to him in my arms and rocked a bit till his eyes were drowsy and I put him down. He was awake when down and put himself to sleep on his own. Woke up again after 20 min!!!! Was awake and just refused to go back to sleep for an hour. Even when I tried rocking him like I used to and walking with him and holding him against my chest nothing worked. Eventually when he was calm I put him down and I went back and forth in and out of the room and he was just hanging out moving his head back and forth and staring at everything in his room. At one point after he squawked and grumbled I just sat next to his crib and we had a staring contest. He was being all cute, and smiling at me, as if telling me how much he loves me and I could not help but smile back. We were just silent smiling at each other. Then after 10min I tried to model falling asleep so I put my head against the railing of his crib and closed my eyes. Then the smart little boy started to do the same, slowly closing his eyes. I was not touching him at all just sitting there. He was almost asleep 3 times with his eyes open just a slither but then suddenly jolted awake and back to square one. I did not touch him the whole time. He wasn't crying so I picked him up and sang him a song and again got him to almost fall asleep but eyes still open and I put him down and he fell asleep and actually stayed asleep. I helped his eyes close by pushing slightly down on his forehead gently. He's slept 30min then woke up to feed. Had 1hour A time and tried to put him down again. He calmed in my arms, I put him down, we had a staring contest again and he literally fell asleep about 17 times and then his eyes would half open or he would startle. I sat there for 20min patting him and helping his eye lids to close whenever they opened again. Finally he startled himself completely awake and cried so after 20min of this I caved in and took him in my arms and he passed out and now I put him down in the crib where he is sleeping. I don't understand why he has such a hard time falling asleep. A few times it seemed like within minutes of closing his eyes he had either a bad or happy dream because he was making puppy crying faces or smiling and then after that would jolt awake. Seems like he has trouble transitioning?
Here is his day today:
Overnight slept 9:30-2:34am (5h)
E - 2:34am for 17min
S - 2:55am - 5:50am (3h)
Lay quietly in crib till 6:30am, falling asleep briefly 3 times but then jolting awake until he finally cried
E - 6:40 am
A - 1 hour
S - 8:00am (32min nap)
E - 9:40 am
A - 1 hour
S - 10:50am fell asleep for 26 min then awake, fell asleep again at 12:35pm for 30 min
E - 1:00 pm
A - 1.5 hour
S - Fell asleep "sort of" at 2:30pm with 20 min of assistance, sleeping now....
What are we doing wrong? Why has he regressed so much in his sleep? How can I help him? I just feel desperate. My last 48 hours have been worse than they ever were before because I am tied to his crib just waiting till he stirs so I can assist him back to sleep which today isn't even working at all unless I hold him. And we are both overtired so I just want to help him sleep so I held him to help him fall asleep for this last nap but it required only 3min of holding to get him drowsy. Why has PU/PD and shush-pat stopped working? And why did his naps goes from 45min to now 20min? Did we mess everything up by trying to eliminate that night feed? It seems like that crazy night when he was up every 40-45min made it all worse. What should I do about the night feed at 2am today? Still do it?
PLEASE HELP! I am at a breaking point. Don't know if I can continue this.
