Author Topic: 15 week old won't go back to sleep after night feeds  (Read 786 times)

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Offline imamama

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15 week old won't go back to sleep after night feeds
« on: March 10, 2015, 06:58:59 am »
My 15 week old wakes up several times a night every 2-3 hours for a feed, which isn't great, but she has always gone straight back down to sleep after the feeds. For the past week or so, I've been putting her back down to sleep as I  normally would and it looks like she's gone down ok but a few minutes later she cries and is really hard to resettle - sometimes it takes an hour of reinserting paci and rocking to get her to go back to sleep. This is on a good night. Last night, however, she wasn't calm at all during her night feeds, she kept hitting or tugging on me while nursing and after a bit crying so I figured she's exhausted and tried to put her back down but again it took like an hour to resettle her. So not only is she waking up super often at night but each time she wakes up we're up over an hour with her. HELP!!!!

Example of daily routine:
6   WU and feed
7   Sleep
7:50   WU and feed
9:35   Sleep
10:45   WU, feed
12:25   Sleep
13:35   WU, feed
15:30   Feed
16:05   Sleep
16:40   WU
18:00   Feed
18:20   Down


Offline Martini~

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Re: 15 week old won't go back to sleep after night feeds
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2015, 13:07:25 pm »
Hi honey, I would have two suggestions:
1. You are in a kind of UT/OT loop. It means that in the morning your DD goes to sleep after very short A of 1h or 1:45 so it results  in short naps. after couple of short naps she is already probably tired and her A might go down, and that's the moment she hits longest A during day: 2:30. After that long A she does a clearly OT nap of 35min.
S           WU           SLEEP   Awake
                06:00      
07:00   07:50   00:50   01:00
09:35   10:45   01:10   01:45
12:25   13:35   01:10   01:40
16:05   16:40   00:35   02:30
18:20                         01:40
Average A times for that age are around 2h and kiddos start to do 2 nice 1.5-2h naps and one catnap of around 45min. So I would try to push her A times to close 2h slowly (15min every 3 days maybe) and work on shortening those which are very long. Last A  of the day may be short as it  is after short nap. What do you think?

2. At4mo there is massive and terrible sleep regression. Kiddos usually drop in their sleep needs and no matter what you do,  you just have to ride it out. How long it lasts for you? We were having sleep disturbances for about 10-14 days.

HTH
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Offline imamama

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Re: 15 week old won't go back to sleep after night feeds
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2015, 15:00:10 pm »
Thank you very much for your reply.

I will try to slowly extend her A time. Today and yesterday she actually did stay up close to 2 hours but her naps were still short (30 mins and 60 mins). It seems no matter what her A time her naps remain the same. Sometimes she'll be awake for not very long and sleep for 2 hours, sometimes only 40 minutes. I've tried all different combinations but it could be like you said she's just in a UT/OT loop that's really hard to get out of. Today her routine has been terrible and I've tried 3 times getting her to sleep throughout the day and she refuses to settle. Sometimes she's really tired after like 70 minutes and i know if i dont put her down she'll be OT, but then I try to put her down and she won't settle so I try again a bit later and the same thing happens. Your idea is a great one but I'm really unsure how to implement it - if I keep her up longer she'll be OT and then the whole day is off.

She's been regressing for a while now. At 8 weeks everything was good but its slowly got worse. Could be the 4 month sleep regression. Could it be I'm feeding her too often in the night? Last night she woke up at 9:45, 1:15, 3:30 and 5:15. She wasn't very hungry at the 3:30 or 5:15, she just ate a bit but she wouldn't go back to sleep unless I fed her.

Also - why would this prevent her going back to sleep at night? Sometimes I'll nurse her and she's asleep when I put her back in her bassinet but she'll wake a few minutes later.

I feel so despaired right now. I've spent all day - actually the past 6 weeks or so - trying to get her to sleep and all evening too. And now I know that the night ahead I'm gonna spend rocking her for an hour til she sleeps. I dont get why this is happening and I feel nothing is working. The whole baby whisperer technique is to teach them to soothe themselves eventually but right now my baby won't even go to sleep with us soothing her - with a paci, with rocking, with shushing, holding her face - sometimes nothing works or it takes forever. How on earth am i meant to teach her to self soothe? Helpppp!!! Really going out my mind.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2015, 16:45:47 pm by imamama »

Offline Martini~

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Re: 15 week old won't go back to sleep after night feeds
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2015, 06:53:13 am »
Hi Honey, big hugs for you as I am sure it must be tough. But it will be better, I am sure.

So now regarding night sleep. Kiddos have to be properly tired to sleep well at night. So not UT or OT as both can result in inconsolable NW. It all depends on kid of course, some will wake earlier for the day, some will only cryout at night, some will do cot parties when UT and some will just sleep through no matter what. I think the most important thing to remember from BW is to understand that every child is different and try to find a solution working for both mother and the baby.

So with your routine, as Tracy said, no independent settling skills will help, if the routine is not ok...:). She advice going to 3 naps around 4mo not only because of feeding but also because proper A during day prevent NW at night which are a result of OT or UT. She doesn't state in her book every detail of the transition but I guess there is not place for that there:). Would that make sense? Imagine yourself if someone tell you to sleep when you are not sleepy, 4x times a day if you already don't need it. You firstly get annoyed as "com'on - I don't want to sleep" and later you can be just to wired to sleep at all.

With naps, it will take couple of days to get to new routine. Try to be patient, maybe help her with shh/pat when she wakes from OT and the nap was shorter than 1h. I really hope it will get better for you soon!
~Marta

Offline imamama

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Re: 15 week old won't go back to sleep after night feeds
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2015, 10:32:55 am »
So last night she went down at around 6:30 and woke up again at 9:30. I tried to settle her back down but couldnt so ended up feeding her and then she was awake until 11:30 - could NOT settle her, it was a nightmare. Her routine from yesterday was:
6:45   WU and feed
8:25   Sleep
9:25   WU and feed
10:45   Sleep
11:25   WU and feed
13:30   Sleep
14:05   WU
14:20   Feed
16:45   Sleep
17:15   WU
18:35   Down

I wrote what time she actually fell asleep but most of the sleeps I spent 10-20 minutes trying to put her to sleep before then. So yesterday she certainly napped a lot less, yet still slept terribly at night. I know her routine is terrible which is what could be affecting this but I dont know how to change it because I just cant get her to sleep anymore. All our techniques are no longer working. I cant settle her to sleep so how can I change the routine? This morning I tried putting her down for a nap and after lots of rocking she finally looked flat out. 5 minutes later she was awake and crying. Even last night during those 2 hours awake I brought her into my bed and sat up holding her in my arms. She finally went into a semi-sleep.  Her eyes kept opening, her arms werent completely limp, every now and then her legs would kick out. Maybe my baby just doesnt need a lot of sleep? Is this a common symptom of sleep regression? Maybe I should take her to the doctor? I'm just at a loss

Thanks for your support!

Offline Martini~

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Re: 15 week old won't go back to sleep after night feeds
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2015, 10:43:31 am »
Hun, if anything about your DD's health concerns you, I would of course do a check up with a doctor. With bad sleep habits it's always good to rule out reflux and any kind of food intolerances.

However I would say that her sleep is generally off any kind of routine and she just protests about it.  Looking at her routine she is definitely in a kind of a loop of UT/OT.
WU           Settle   SLEEP   A time
06:45   08:25   -           01:40
09:25   10:45   01:00   01:20
11:25   13:30   00:40   02:05
14:05   16:45   00:35   02:40
17:15   18:35   00:30   01:20
Look, her first A is 1:40, and she does a 1:00 nap after that. Try to push to 1:50/2:00 in a hope she will do a better/longer nap of 1.5h.
Her second A is 1:20 so much shorter, it should be shorter a bit as the first nap was not fully restorative but 1:20 is too short A and it results in another UT nap of 1:00. Then when the days continues, she is getting right A but she is already OT after short naps in the mornings and you get some OT nap. Especially this 35min after 2:40 seems to be OT nap.

What I would do is push morning A until you follow with 1.5h nap. The same with second A, push slightly to closer of 2h - until you get a 1.5-2h nap later. Her third nap is going to be shorter anyway as around 4mo it's normal to go to a routine of 2 longer naps and one catnap.

How long does she take to settle for all of those nap and BT?
« Last Edit: March 11, 2015, 10:49:16 am by Martii85 »
~Marta