sleep training for 10 month old....with toddler around!

[bevsteress]

Hi

We are getting exhausted with our 10 month old. He keeps waking up at night constantly and the second we pick him up he just stops crying and sleeps on us but when we put him back down he wakes again after a few minutes. We end up practically holding him all night taking turns between me and hubby add to that a 2 yr 8 month old toddler who also keeps waking and running to our room for me to just lift him up and take him back to bed and we are beyond exhausted. We tried PUPD a few weeks ago and it had helped ....although I think he just slept out of exhaustion from crying.  Also not sure we were doing it right. He gets frustrated if we pat his back and the second we move a mm he started crying before we even attempt to put him down. So by the end of it he still fell asleep on us and not in his cot. I only managed to put him in the cot awake once (I think it was day 3). But then back to crying and then he got another cold and we were back to holding him. There is no rocking or swaying just standing there holding him...waiting for his breath to get heavier to attempt putting him down.

Is PUPD the only thing that will work? We now tried moving him out of our room and in with his brother.... On the hope that maybe my toddler will sleep at least.....but this still didn't work. I'm wary of doing PUPD now since he will cry a lot and wake DS probably.  ( he also just cut his first tooth this weekend ...and second on the way) so not sure if timing is right....but there is always something ....which is why he is already 10 months and not sleep trained. I had sleep trained my first at 3 months and he used to fall asleep on his own...although sleeping through the night came much later...and disappeared completely when LO came.

Any help or suggestions pls?

Oh and he is not on a strict easy routine as I find this impossible to keep coz of my DS. But he generally goes down easily for naps... Though still on us then we put him down.

Thanks in advance for any help!

[weaver]

Agh! I wrote you a lovely long reply and it got eaten by gremlins.  So here's a shorter version!

Is PUPD the only thing that will work?

Not at all.  In this case, I think Gradual Withdrawal will work best. Have a look here, but just the second half, I'm not suggesting WI/WO for you.
Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

You want LO2 going into the cot awake and happy to fall asleep there on his own.   It'll take time to get there, but if you're to happy do it by taking tiny steps it might go more easily (in terms of crying). 

I would start by giving him a lovely big cuddle and telling him he's going into his cot (awake).  In he goes. He will protest of course.  Tell him you're staying.  Sit (on the floor if you have to, I always did) so he can see that you're going nowhere.  Tell him it's time to sleep. Encourage him to lie himself down, if he doesn't have a lovey then now would be a good time to encourage him to adopt one.  If he does, use it!

You say he's annoyed by you patting his back, so don't do it.  Pat the mattress or place your hand gently on his back (without patting), speak softly to him about how it's time to sleep.  Keep everything minimal.  Don't worry about staying there til he's asleep at first.  The next step is to work on leaving earlier. 

Doing this in the evening might just help them both settle down for a better night's sleep.

In terms of the 2 yo NWs, you might want to post on the sleeping for toddler board, but 2.5-3 is prime time for bed time shenanigans so you're not alone there.

You might want to start this approach over the weekend or when you have someone else about to mind LO1 during the day.  I would go with this for naps and night-time from when you start, and hopefully you will see some improvement quickly.  Make sure whatever position you adopt it comfortable for you.  Put cushions on the floor, or a blanket, or a chair, no point in suffering.   And if he's teething, of course, he's entitled to moan. There's no substitute for well-timed pain relief.

HTH!

[bevsteress]

Hi

Thanks for your reply. Last night I decided to give PUPD a try coz I figured it can't get worse than what we had....and it was a bit better in fact....in that we didn't need to keep him on us.

This is what I did...I gave him a bath earlier on his own (before I was keeping him up with his bro which involved him taking a catnap at 6/6.6.30pm than waking him ...bath...etc...which wasn't helping I think). Anyway I managed to keep him awake for his last feed and have bath and put him in cot awake. He stayed running around the cot for a while. Every now and then I tried to lay him down...but of all days he learnt how to finally roll over, sit up and stand....so he kept getting up. Then when he started getting tired and crying I started PUPD. I lay him down and shhh and when he starts screeching ( almost immediately!) I pick him up and hold him....he stops immediately and snuggles his head into me ready to sleep. Not sure how long I'm supposed to hold him before putting him back down. But eventually he always finally sleeps after he is practically asleep on me and I put him down... He might move a bit or whine once or twice but then stays ....but eyes would be closed already after all the PUPD. Am I doing it right? Thing is that he screeches as soon as I start putting him down and stops as soon as he is 2 cm off the mattress!!

Today I tried it again and same thing. Oh even at night we tried to continue it as much as possible....took about 1.5 hrs bedore he finally stayed...and again was practically asleep on me before I put him down.