3.5 month old - 30 minute naps - shh/pat questions

[carusojen]

My son is a chronic short napper. He has been taking 30-40 minute naps since about 8 or 9 weeks old, most often waking around 33 minutes when he jerks himself awake. He is still swaddled, arms in, and doesn't have a pacifier (generally won't take it unless he's REALLY over tired). Prior to two weeks ago, we were always bouncing to sleep for naps, but when he started fighting the process we decided things needed to change.

Tried implementing the baby whisperer Four S wind down routine, but he will NOT stand for the sitting step (cries and fights the whole time and ends up more worked up).
Instead our nap routine looks like this: Change diaper/remove pants and socks, swaddle, turn off lights, close bedroom door and blinds. Hold for a minute until he starts to fight it, then place in crib and turn on his fisher price sea horse a few times to distract him (usually only 30 seconds or so, just to settle him from being placed in the crib). He will usually lay still a minute or so, then start to cry and fuss.

At this point we turn him on his side and shh/pat. If we stop, he starts to fuss again, so we end up doing it until he's all the way asleep. Then we try to turn him on his back. Often this results in his legs jerking him awake during the turn or shortly afterwards, so we need to put him back on his side and resume shh/pat.

Questions I have are:

1) Is shh/pat to all the way asleep ok? Will it just become another sleep prop, or as he gets older is it likely that we'll be able to shh/pat until drowsy and hold him until sleeping, etc?

2) Any tips on how to muffle the leg jerks when turning him back to his back after he falls asleep? Sometimes we can get him to sleep within 5 minutes, but the entire process takes 30 minutes because of all the times he wakes himself up with his leg jerks and needing to start all over again, even with us trying to hold his legs somewhat steady and being there to start shh/pat immediately if he wakes up.

3) Regarding the short naps, is this something he should grow out of, or something we need to help him with? Right now we are on a 2 hour EWS schedule with 5 naps a day, because his naps are so short and I'm trying to maintain the EWS pattern. I understand that within the next month he should REALLY be on more of a 4 hour EWS schedule with 3 naps a day, but coming from his current pattern I have no idea how to get there. Have not put much effort into nap extensions yet, because the process of getting him down for 5 naps a day is exhausting. I'm willing to do it if it will eventually help him sleep longer on his own.

Our schedule looks roughly like this:

7:00 am - Wake up
7:45 am - Feed (doesn't like to eat right after waking)
8:30 am - Nap
9:00 am - Wake up and feed
10:30 am - Nap
11:00 am - Wake up and feed
12:30 pm - Nap
1:00 pm - Wake up and feed
2:30 pm - Nap
3:00 pm - Wake up and feed
4:30 pm - Nap
5:00 pm - Wake up and feed
6:30 pm - Bedtime, nurse to sleep which usually takes 40 minutes because he cluster feeds for this one.
7:00 pm - Asleep... STTN with 1 waking to feed around 3:00 am

Our nights are great, it's just the naps that are lacking!

[~Sara~]

Hi there!  Welcome to Baby Whisperer.

My son did the whole 45 minute nap thing for a couple of months when he was that age, too, and reading your post reminds me of that time.  Hang in there, okay?  The short napping is normally just a phase they go through as they sort out their day sleep, and we saw a huge improvement at around 5.5/6 months.

So, to answer your questions...

1) Is shh/pat to all the way asleep ok? Will it just become another sleep prop, or as he gets older is it likely that we'll be able to shh/pat until drowsy and hold him until sleeping, etc?

I would say that, yes, shh/pat all the way to sleep is perfectly fine for now.  He's still so little, still learning.  I was very afraid the shh/pat would become a prop, too, but think of it as teaching your son a sleepytime cue.  Right now, yes, he will probably need a lot of shushing and patting.  But eventually, and when you follow his tired cues and he's ready to sleep, he'll know that mommy is laying him down and napping is safe and good...and he might just need you to lay him in his crib, give a couple of pats, and off he drifts.  I still remember seeing this process in action with my son and being amazed that it really worked, and that eventually he didn't need (or want) me to stay in there and help him go to sleep.  You'll get there, too, but first things first.

2) Any tips on how to muffle the leg jerks when turning him back to his back after he falls asleep? Sometimes we can get him to sleep within 5 minutes, but the entire process takes 30 minutes because of all the times he wakes himself up with his leg jerks and needing to start all over again, even with us trying to hold his legs somewhat steady and being there to start shh/pat immediately if he wakes up.

Babies normally jolt during those first 20 minutes of drifting off, and they can still wake themselves up from it.  When is he jolting, as in, how long after he's asleep?  Or does he not really go all the way to sleep and kinda wiggles for a while?

3) Regarding the short naps, is this something he should grow out of, or something we need to help him with? Right now we are on a 2 hour EWS schedule with 5 naps a day, because his naps are so short and I'm trying to maintain the EWS pattern. I understand that within the next month he should REALLY be on more of a 4 hour EWS schedule with 3 naps a day, but coming from his current pattern I have no idea how to get there. Have not put much effort into nap extensions yet, because the process of getting him down for 5 naps a day is exhausting. I'm willing to do it if it will eventually help him sleep longer on his own.

The thing with short naps is that you don't have to stick to a strict EASEASEAS pattern because it will affect his appetite and he'll need more wake time than that.  So, think of it as more EASAE...maybe some more A...sleep.  Does that make sense?

Looking at his routine, I am wondering if maybe his A time isn't quite right for him.  How does he wake from his naps?  Happy, bright and cheery?  Or fussing, obviously wanting more sleep?  Or does the day start off happy and then progress to fussy?  It's great that his nights are going so well, so whatever is going on isn't disruptive enough to mess with those lovely nights he's giving you.

Here are some links that I think you might find useful, too:
What are A times and how do they fit into the EASY plan?
Time to Transition - 3hr, 3.5hr or 4hr EASY

Hang in there!  You're doing great!

[carusojen]

The leg jerks are as he's still falling asleep or within the first 10 min. Its a toss up if he wakes from the ones within the first 10 minutes, but the ones while he's falling asleep always disturb him.

He wakes generally happy but tired from naps (good mood, but still yawning). Once we get him going, he will be smiling and alert, but usually starts rubbing his eyes or yawning more often within an 1-1.5 hours of A time.

So you would suggest first moving his feeds to a 3 hour schedule even if that doesn't follow EAS and then going from there?

I'm glad to hear your LO naturally grew out of the short naps eventually. Did you do nap extensions or anything to help that happen, or did it happen on its own?

[~Sara~]

I'm glad to hear your LO naturally grew out of the short naps eventually. Did you do nap extensions or anything to help that happen, or did it happen on its own?

I did do nap extensions and because I was home all day with him and no other kids at the time, I could...and I was stuck in his room for 30 minutes trying to get him through.  It was the choice I made, and it worked.  But it was a lot of work and not something I could do if I had other kids or commitments.  However, it really did happen one day that he extended his nap all by himself--or, rather, he stopped waking developmentally in between sleep cycles.  And I never had to extend a nap again.  Can't say that's how all babies do it, but that was my experience, and because I'd worked on gradually lessening the shh/pat at the beginning of his nap, there were no props to worry about once he was able to handle napping longer on his own.  So, don't be afraid of the shh/pat.

The leg jerks are as he's still falling asleep or within the first 10 min. Its a toss up if he wakes from the ones within the first 10 minutes, but the ones while he's falling asleep always disturb him.

I think that's still common at this age.  What does he do if you leave him to settle by himself if a jolt wakes him up?

Also, while it is true for some babies that they will want to go to sleep again sooner after a short nap, not all are like that (my daughter hardly ever showed sleepy cues and was very content just to stay awake until her next naptime).  Maybe your son is like that, too?  And not all A times have to be the same.  EASY is really learning how your LO ticks.  That might mean that he's able to handle more A time in the morning, but less as the day goes on.  Or vice versa.  If he's waking up in a good mood, though, that doesn't make me think he's overtired for his naps, which is why I think maybe having him stay up for ~1h35 might be the way to go.  However, if you try this and it leads to worse naps, maybe he would like a shorter A time in the morning, then more as the day goes on.

So you would suggest first moving his feeds to a 3 hour schedule even if that doesn't follow EAS and then going from there?

Yes, I think he should be able to last longer in between feeds, given his age, than 2 hours.  A general rule of thumb is 4h in between feeds sometime around 4mo, but again, all babies are different so there's some flexibility.  Is he formula-fed or breastfed?  BF babies will sometimes need to eat more frequently, but I still think you could stretch out his feeds.  Something like this for his day:

Awake at 7
E: 7:30
A: 1h35
S: asleep at ~8:35
A: awake at 9a-ish (if still short napping)
E: 10:15ish--just before his next nap, though not feeding to sleep
S: asleep at ~10:30

So...something like that, I think.

This age is kinda tricky because there are a lot of developmental things going on right about now.  Chronic short napping, growth spurt, being able to stay awake longer, being able to eat more and therefore go longer in between feeds.  Plus, you're starting EASY and the shh/pat...lots of possibilities.  Hope that makes sense!

[carusojen]

For how long did you do nap extensions until he started to extend the naps on his own?

I am worried that if I am already spending so much time getting him to sleep, and then another 30 minutes every nap trying to extend it, I'm going to drive myself insane with all the time I'm spending in the dark, especially if it will go on for several months. In that case I'd rather just accept his short naps and work around them.

I will try tweaking his schedule as a starting point. I find its hard to read his sleepy cues because after several short naps he is always yawning Will try spacing his feeds as well.

[~Sara~]

For how long did you do nap extensions until he started to extend the naps on his own?

For a month or so (it's been a few years, so exact details are fuzzy).  It was hard, and as I said, I had the time at the time to do it so just did it.  If the short naps are completely unrelated to how long he's been awake and he's just a developmentally short napper, then I say roll with it if it helps you.

Give the schedule tweaking a shot and let me know how it goes!