Night wakings have me close to tears - Help!

[murphy76]

Our DS3 is almost 6 months and his routine is great during the day, but his nights are a problem.

Until 5 weeks ago, he woke once in a 12 hour night, took a 5oz bottle and fell back to sleep straightaway. He then got a tummy bug and since then he is up on average twice a night, and one of those periods is usually for 2 hours. A typical night will be that he wakens anytime between 11 and 12, I go in and give him medicine (could be teething although his nappies are fine and no discomfort during the day). That usually doesn't work so I feed him a 5 oz bottle. If lucky I can be out of his room within 20 minutes. He then wakens 3-4 hours later and as I am convinced he couldn't be hungry, I usually turn on his glo worm and stroke his face to see if I can get him back to sleep. This could go on for some time, I then resort to picking him up and rubbing his back to calm him down, and shh-ing him, then when he is calm, put him back down - I tried patting but he doesn't respond well to it as it seems to annoy him. Eventually I cave in and offer him a bottle and he might go over once winded etc as he is just exhausted. Last night I was up at 1045 and fed him and he was asleep within 20 mins, then he woke at 1.45am and was up 2.5 hours shouting. He had a 5 oz bottle around 215 and wouldn't settle, and the only way I could get him to sleep was to offer him some more formula at 4am. I know this is the wrong thing to do as he can't be hungry but I am exhausted at this stage as is he and I am just craving sleep. I just am at a loss as how to address these night wakenings as it's really taking it toll on my patience with DH and DS1 and 2.

He is on a 4 hour EASY and has been for a month or so, so a typical day is as follows:

Wakes 7am
E 7.30 - bottle
A 745-815
E 8.30 - baby porridge
A 845
S 915/930 - 1115/11.30 - this is always his longest nap, close to 2 hours on average
E 11.30 - 8 oz bottle
A 12
S 1.30/1.45 - 2.30/2.45 (usually 45mins-1hr)
E 3.30 - 8 oz bottle
A 4.15
S 4.45/5pm cat nap in car for 15/20 mins
E 5.30 - solids
A 6 onwards - bath etc
E 645/7 - 8 oz bottle
S 7.15
A 11 - 1130 and again 3-4 hours later for up to 2 hours

I have really ruled out hunger at this stage and am thinking he is teething as he has his hands in his mouth a lot during the day and he grizzles a lot at night. But I also now think is it habit and dont know how to break it.

 Do I need to offer him water and put him over by rubbing his back / shh-ing him when he is in his cot? I am moving him from two solids to 3 this week. We only started solids 2 weeks ago so I don't think the introduction of them has anything to do with the night wakenings.

Baby whisperer saw me through with DS1 and DS2 and everyone is always so supportive here and both myself and DH are totally convinced EASY is the best for our kids, i just really need some direction and advice on how to get out of this low as it is starting to affect us all in the house.

Thanks

AM.

[anna*]

Hi there

I think the first think you have to look at is his routine. I think he's waking in the night because he's under-tired, because he is on only about 2hrs 15mins A time which is not enough and he probably needs closer to 3hrs and transitioning from 3 to 2 naps.

Does he go to sleep independently for naps and at bedtime? Completely independently?

Re the night feeds, you need to decide before you go in to his room whether you are going to feed or not. If you're going to, do so immediately and then work on settling him. If not, keep working on settling him until he sleeps. Doing shush pat or PUPD for an hour and then feeding him isn't helping anyone.

shush pat often doesn't work at this stage. As far as possible I would try to settle him in his cot. If he doesn't like being patted you can try stroking his hair, holding his hand, jiggling his mattress etc. The idea is to have him calm down in his cot so that he doesn't get angry and start up crying again when you lay him down after calming in your arms.

Why not give him pain meds at bedtime? That way you'll know if he wakes up at 11 that it's not pain.

[murphy76]

Thanks Anna,

 will now start to address him being undertired. If i am to extend his A time from 2hr15/30 to 3 hours with a viw to dropping the catnap and having just the 2 naps per day, do i just do it gradually by 5mins each day, or do you think i could try 10-15mins each day over the next 3-5days?

He does go to sleep independently for naps, goes down awake and then we put on his comfort glo toy and thats him. 4/5 times at night he is fed and put into the cot awake and goes over himself within 10mins, the odd time i feed him to sleep if he doesnt go over himself.

That makes sense about deciding what i am going to do before i go into the room.

When you say: "The idea is to have him calm down in his cot so that he doesn't get angry and start up crying again when you lay him down after calming in your arms." does this mean only pick him up as a last resort?

I do give him pain meds going to bed as well. By what you are saying that means it should be enough to do him, and can rule out teething pain for an 11pm waking as he has just had meds 4 hours before.

Thanks for your help, i really appreciate it.

AM

[anna*]

will now start to address him being undertired. If i am to extend his A time from 2hr15/30 to 3 hours with a viw to dropping the catnap and having just the 2 naps per day, do i just do it gradually by 5mins each day, or do you think i could try 10-15mins each day over the next 3-5days?

I think 5 mins is over-cautious, I would do 10-15 mins every 2-3 days.

When you say: "The idea is to have him calm down in his cot so that he doesn't get angry and start up crying again when you lay him down after calming in your arms." does this mean only pick him up as a last resort?

Yes, only as a last resort, and when you DO pick him up, put him back down again quite quickly. It's really just a reassuring cuddle rather than holding him until he has calmed down. My oldest used to scream blue murder for ages and I thought he would NEVER settle in his cot but then he would suddenly and very quickly calm down and go to sleep. It can take a long time at first though.

I do give him pain meds going to bed as well. By what you are saying that means it should be enough to do him, and can rule out teething pain for an 11pm waking as he has just had meds 4 hours before.

yep, he should still be covered four hours after taking meds. He could be waking hungry? Do you do a dream feed?

[murphy76]

Thanks Anna, i will start adjusting that A time today.

bottom line is it is PUPD now for us instead of shh pat by the sounds of it, so i will take this into account and read up more.

We have never done the DF with any of the boys, and do not do it with DS3 either. I understood that if he was getting enough milk during the day, which he was going by the guidelines and now we have even introduced solids that this should be enough to sustain him?

[anna*]

Well, babies don't always read the guidelines And if a bottle sometimes settles him at night, it is possible that he could be hungry, especially if he is working on regaining calories lost during a tummy bug. Obviously it's not hunger if he's waking an hour after a bottle, but it is not unusual at all for a baby this age to still be having a feed - or even 2 - at night.

[murphy76]

It would certainly be a bit easier i they could read the BW book so we are all on the same page!

I think i will address the undertired factor first, and see how we get on. Then i will look to reduce his nighttime bottle if i feel we are getting somewhere, and we will take it from there. I have no problem with night time feeds if he still needs it and is happy to go over afterwards, but 2-3hour playtime  in the middle of the night does take its toll...lol

Thanks for all your help, i will let you know how we get on.

AM