Fighting with DH on routine

[newbie_momsie]

So 5 month old DD wakes at 500am or 530am for 2 months now but most days she falls back to sleep. If not then i get her at 6am if she lies and babbles till then. Hubby always ask me to just get her at 530am to start the day. He doesnt understand why i wait even though i tell him 530am is early waking. I tell him if we always get her at 530am she will always wake up then but he says she does it anyway. He says maybe 5am orc530am is her normal rhythm. He hates it when i tell him everything i read said dont start baby day until 6am earliest. He gets even madder because he said why dont i trust him instead of all the readings. I tell him if everything i read said the same then mostly true. I am so sad right now. Should i start get her at 530am every day to stop all thus fighting with hubby? I am tired...

Or should i suggest if DD wakes up before 6am then we let her try to self soothe for 20mins and then get her up if she doesnt fall back to sleep?

Thoughts?

[jessmum46]

(((Hugs))), there is so much advice out there and it can be totally overwhelming for any parent to find their way.  Having a baby puts a strain on even the best of relationships.  There is no 'right' answer per se, you and your DH need to work on this as a partnership and find the way that is right for you both, not for anyone else.  Personally I wouldn't be getting up and starting the day at 5.30am but for some people that's a perfectly acceptable starting time.  I guess there's an argument for saying if DH is willing and able to get up with her at that time, then I guess you could just go with it for now.  If however he's expecting you to do that and not get up himself, that would not be happening in my house!    Does he say why he's so keen to get up early?  As in, is he concerned her happily babbling to herself at that hour is a problem?  Sorry you are having a tough time with this right now . Perhaps DH is feeling quite insecure and tired at the moment and so struggling to see your perspective? 

[*Liz*]

One of my kids has woken at 5.30am for 6.5 years. Honestly - very little changes it - he really does seem wired that way  .

I room share with my baby and he wakes at that sort of time as well. I feed him, stick white noise on, and lay there until he kicks up a fuss. That can be as long as up to 7am. If he got upset I'd get him up earlier, or just chat to him while I wake myself up a bit  .

My DH sleeps in the spare room. Honestly, its the best place for him. He drove me crazy fussing about kids sleep with the first 2 kids so for my sanity I got rid of him. I don't need 2 babies at 5.30am thanks  .

Or should i suggest if DD wakes up before 6am then we let her try to self soothe for 20mins and then get her up if she doesnt fall back to sleep?

That sounds like a good compromise  .

Why does he want you to get her up? To stop the noise? Or because he gets upset with the fussing?

[newbie_momsie]

She babbles loud and cries out when she cant roll back onto her back. So instead of listening to her for 1 hr he wants to get her up. He is willing to feed her while i get 1 hr of rest but really i am already awake! Plus he thinks if she starts her day early then her bedtime will be earlier so he can do dream feed at 10pm instead of 1030pm. this way he can get up early to go to the gym but feed her before he leaves the house.  He does the dreamfeeds every night. Hope this explains why he wants to start her day at 530am....cuz she is already awake so he doesnt want her lying around for 30 min to 1 hr and babbling loud. He can't sleep with her babbling or squaking so he rather get up to feed and then go to the gym. plus he truly thinks 530am is her natural time to start the day since she is awake almost every day around this time.

Also...we have been trying my way which is not getting DD up until 7am but earliest 6am for 2 months now and DD hasnt change her wake up time much so i guess he feels that i  should listen to him and try his suggestion.

[becj86]

The routine suggestions are all just that, suggestions. If it works for LO and you all as a family, I say go with it. I'm one of those people who will get my kid up at 5:30, but I'm up then anyway (even pre-kids, I'm a morning person) and we do an earlier BT than most people I know. He has to be up at 6 anyway to have any chance of getting to kindy on time. To me, its about what works in your family. TBH, I can't see a flaw in DH's points, unless there's something direly wrong with her routine that is causing her to wake then.

[*Liz*]

He has decent points there then. It isn't that he wants you to get up so he can sleep (so many men try that one!!).

Just because you go with this now doesn't mean you can't change it later either. My second child EWd a lot from 5-12 months but never does now. For her it was a phase.

[michaeljacknnugg]

If it would allow him to do something he wants to do, and gives you more rest, then maybe it's a good idea! Yes you are awake but you can snooze or read until he goes to work.

I have an early bird of a kid too, just the way he is. DH does tend to get up with him more, but now he's older he can go down and get his own breakfast while we doze.

[wilow]

I only want to say that I have the same problem. We often fight with my partner about baby waking time so I do understand what you feel.