Lost my way completely!!

[Goodlife]

Hi. Little Boo is just turning 4 months. I had her on a 3 hour EASY routine until 3 weeks ago when she seemed to want to transition to 4 hour (she was more awake when I tried to put her down and wasn't taking much at each feed).

The feeding thing has been fine and I'm quite surprised at how she just sorted this herself. However, the problems I have are now 2 fold:

1.) She isn't taking her first feed in the morning. I have to wait till after her 1st morning nap and then she takes about 3-4oz. Her next feed is also only 3-4oz and then she takes a full feed for the mid afternoon and eve feed. She then has a dream feed at 10:00 and wakes at 1:30 and 4:30 for a feed. She was taking only 1.5 to 2 oz when doing 3 hour easy but now takes nearer 4oz each NW - is this coincidence? could it be because weather has been so warm during day? or could it be because she is OT (see point 2). She was also going from DF to about 3:00 but doesn't seem to manage this anymore.

2) She has NEVER napped for more than 45 mins. Please believe me that I have tried everything - and yes I have tried for more than 2 weeks but to no avail. She recently started doing only 30mins and I thought that transitioning to 4HR might help but nothing has changed. I tried wake to sleep and it helps a bit but only to stretch naps from 30 mins to 45 mins. She is very happy when she wakes and is WIDE awake. Due to this my schedule is ALL OVER THE PLACE and a couple of times I have to feed her and keep her up for 15 mins before nap. She now seems grumpy in the late afternoon and evening and I have to put her down to bed at 6:30 instead of 7:00.

I'm not sure if I have done the right thing! Should I go back to previous routine? should I change awake times? I feel like I have created a problem and am kicking myself.

[anna*]

Hi there could you write out a typical day in EAS format so we can see what kind of A times etc you are doing?

[Goodlife]

OK so here is where is gets messy as I am so confused with the whole short nap thing:

6:30 Up and dressed
7:00 Eat (she has been refusing this completely so I haven't bothered)
6:30 - 8:30 Activity time = 2hrs
8:30 Sleep (30mins)
9:00 Eat
9:00 - 11:30 Activity = 2hrs
11:30 Sleep (30mins)
12:00 - 14:00 Activity = 2 hrs
13:00 Eat
14:00 Sleep (30mins)
by this time she is getting restless although if I move her about she is fine so I get a bit confused with OT and boredom? She then fights another nap if I try to put her down and eventually goes for a nap about 4:00 and this time it is always 45 mins 
16:00 Sleep (45mins)
17:00 Eat
18:00 Bath and bedtime routine (she is too tired to do much so I just do bath and lullaby).
18:30 Eat (last bottle before bed which she drinks all of even though it is only 1.5 hrs after last feed)

She falls asleep pretty much straight away after last bottle and then I do DF at 10:00 and she wakes at 1:30 and 4:30

I think she might be heading for a cold that we have all had so this might effect her although she has been like this for past week or so.

The other night I was so tired and she looked so sound asleep that I didn't do DF and she woke at 11:30 and 3:00 and fed better when she woke at 6:30. I know Tracey says to continue with it but it doesn;t seem to work like it used to (she would go through till 3:00 instead of 1:30)?

Sorry for so much info and thanks for any possible help you can give.

[anna*]

That's great, thanks

OK so the first thing to note is that four months is AWFUL for short naps. It seems like all babies do it. And, it can't always be fixed - meaning, mums try everything, but nothing works until baby finally grows out of short napping.

But, if you want to try some tweaks, it could be that she needs a slightly shorter first A time. I would cut back A time from 2hrs to maybe 1hr45 after a short nap, too. Short naps do mess with the EAS order of things, but it's fine to do AEAS, so that you're not feeding every 2hrs, you know? And for me, if dream feed = 3 night feeds and no dream feed = 2 night feeds, I'd drop the dream feed.

Is she an independent sleeper?

[Goodlife]

Thank you so much for your reply. I thought I had broken her!!!! She was doing so well and then she had 2 month jabs which messed her up completely for 2 weeks. As soon as the 2 weeks were up she went right back to normal only to go through the same thing with the 3 month jabs. Back to normal but only for a week and then things started to go awry again.

I'm so glad it's not just me. I really have tried hard to get her to extend naps but I must admit she does seem happy on waking and only gets touchy in the evenings.

Not sure what is going on with her feeding though and so I will try dropping the DF. Thanks for the advice as I was worried I was going against the BW method.

I put her down in the cot and she does cry a little but it's more like a mantra cry - almost like she talking herself to sleep (sooo cute!). I shh her (she doesn't like the patting anymore) just until she is quiet and she goes of within 5 mins of being put down. Having said that, we were at the stage were I would put her down and walk out and she would just go off completely on her own. Recently she has started to grab her dummy out her mouth just as she is falling off, then cries for it and tries to put it back in but can't.

Do you think I should wean her from dummy? or should I get her routine a bit more settled before embarking on that?

Thanks once again.

[anna*]

If it was me and I knew I wanted to wean the dummy, I'd probably do it now when things are messy anyway. Rather than wait for things to get more settled and then rock the boat, iyswim.

[Goodlife]

Yes that is true.

Dreading it though - such a coward!! Night time should be fine as she generally falls asleep straight after bottle but naps will be another thing. Still, like you said, naps are messy at the moment anyway 

I'll try shorter A times tomorrow and will probably have a go at the weaning off dummy next week as DS and hubby will be home at weekend and will be upset if they hear her crying.

Thanks once again for the reassurance and prompt replies.

[anna*]

Let us know how you get on ok? Fwiw I have been through dummy weaning twice and it's bad, but never as bad as I think it's going to be.

[Goodlife]

Thanks and well done you. I weaned my DS (now 12yrs) at about 18 months and that was hard enough but def want to get her off it sooner rather than later.

I'll post how I get on.