Extending the naps!!!

[rooroo85]

Hi all, I'm pretty new to EASY having breast fed on demand and let the baby sleep in the pram around my timetable. All sorts of bad habits happened, which I have been working so hard to break and it all seems to be making a big difference - friends have described my baby as 'a different child' of late which makes me feel very bad about what went on before! I was made to feel like I was doing the right thing by midwives and health visitors but I obviously wasn't, as poor little baby is so much more content with a feeding and sleeping routine!

Anyway, baby is only just 4 months and was feeding very regularly before I started EASY so started on 3 hour routine. However I've  discovered that he goes down much better after 2 hours of being awake and was possibly under tired before, so think we should really be on 4 hour routine? Only problem is the naps. He cannot seem to transition himself beyond 30 mins. I try and  help him by coming in to the room just before he stirs and soothing him but it takes a long time and he gets very worked up. Have resorted to PU/PD at times and he does eventually go back to sleep but only for around 10 mins or so and then we have to go through it all again. As he doesn't seem able to stay asleep very long I don't know how long to repeat this for? Should I aim for an hour and a half? Will he eventually stop waking up after every 10 mins?  A lot of his nap is now crying, fussing and soothing 

The other problem I have is that, when I eventually give up nap extending (because we have never made it to the next feed), I don't know when I should feed him. Someone said that holding off the feed to the next scheduled time will help to extend naps so at the moment I try to distract him with some sort of activity until the feed. Will this work? We are unable to make it to 4 hours - more like 3 and a half with a lot of effort because he starts to get hungry. Which makes to wonder whether a 4 hour routine is too long for him at the moment? Or is it just his bad nap habits which are the problem?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Many thanks 

[Kellyjs]

Hi hun and welcome to BW!

First off, let me just say BW is about reading your LO's cues. We would never ever suggest you make a bubba wait if he's hungry before his feeding time. Feeding on demand is fine, except when it becomes a snacking issue like every hour. Many bF babies never manage to get to a 4hr easy until they start solids, so it's perfectly ok to keep to around 3hrs if you feel that's best.

Tracy's ethos was one of trying to out a little A between the E and S so as you don't create a prop for the LO in that they always need to be fed to sleep. That being said, we've all done it, and will continue to do it if our LO is OT or poorly etc, but we try and have a rough easy throughout most days.

2hrs A looks good for a 4mo. Keep this link handy, it's a life saver Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

Well done you for figuring it out. How does he wake at the 30mims? Does he wake crying or is he happy? I too was plagued with short naps for the longest time, so I'm here to hold your hand and figure it out ok?

Wrt the feeding, just feed when it's due or before if he's hungry. There's a growth spurt at 4mo which always throws a spanner in the works as well as a 4mo sleep regression. If you look through these boards there's thousands that have been where you are now. We've all gotten through it, so I promise, you will too. Sometimes it's just purely developmental and it sorts itself out on it's own, other times we have to tweak a few things. Also, google the wonder weeks.. That also has saved my sanity on more than one occasion.

How does he go down for his naps hun if I may ask? Xx

[rooroo85]

Thanks so much. That's made me feel a lot better!

I think I will try and take a more relaxed approach to EASY. If he wakes up after a short nap and is not showing signs of being hungry I assume we do an activity? Sorry I know I'm sounding a bit thick but this routine is making a real difference to our day and want to get it right!

Now we've been through PUPD he goes down well for his naps if I time them right. Normally just a little cry / whimper for about a minute or two and then he's asleep. He has a dummy and a white noise app in the background. I have kept the app running quietly while he naps in case it helps him when he wakes up but it doesn't seem to. When he wakes he seems really tired - lots of crying and eye rubbing. Unlike when he goes down for his nap, he wont accept the dummy and normally flings it out of his mouth in disgust if I try and give it to him to sooth him. I know he needs the sleep as if we're out and about with the pram he is fine and will sleep for over an hour. I would just like him to be able to do it in his basket! Do you think I should just ease off and see if he is eventually able to do it? At what age do they begin to find it easier?

[Kellyjs]

Yes, I'd do A time and perhaps bring it down slightly after he takes a short nap. Perhaps try for another nap at 1hr 50mins instead?

Please do be as relaxed as you can about it. Easy for me to say (excuse the pun  ), as I was a little bit of a control freak. But looking back I wish I'd just enjoyed the extra cuddles needed to get DD back off to sleep. She turned into a bubba that was completely resistant to apop... Not good when you're going through nap transitions!! 

It will get easier hun, remember you're changing the goal posts on him. He'll be used to his pram and you're changing that. No bad thing at all, actually you're doing everything right. It'll just take a little time to get used to it and you're probably in the middle of the 4mo sleep regression I mentioned earlier which doesn't help.

Ok, fancy trying the 2hr A first thing and going in around 25mims after he falls asleep and just lay a hand on his chest and start sshing and see if you can him through to his next sleep cycle? Perhaps you being in there earlier might help. It's a kind of w2s that I'll post a link for in a mo. If he wakes at the 30mins mark and won't go back to sleep (only try for around 15mins or so or else you'll drive yourself crazy), get him up and do some A and E for around 1hr 50mims and try for sleep again. It may be that he's slightly OT as the day is going on. Dyt you could give that a go and log the days for me? It will be easier to see a pattern.

Ideally set out like this:

Wu time
E
A
S for how long
A (presumably  )
E
A
S etc etc all the way to BT and including any NW's.

Dyt that's doable? I think you'll find the last link really helpful hun, have a read through and let me know what you think? Xx

How to address habitual wakings (w2s and other methods)

EASY Log downloads

Teaching Sleep to Babies of 3-5 months (and the 45 min nap)

[rooroo85]

Thanks so much for your advice. I've been looking through on the forums and got some ideas for helping him sleep a bit longer and have discovered that if I go in after about 35mins and put my hand on when he wakes I can sometimes get him to go back to sleep. Today he had a 2 hour nap at lunch! I did have to stay with him for about 25 mins to make sure he was properly asleep!

I do now have another question though. If I can't get him to have long naps do I then have to give him another nap during the day? He obviously starts getting tired in the afternoon but I am worried that if he naps too close to bedtime then it's really difficult to get him to go down but then also if he's over tired then it is also very difficult to get him to go down!

[Kellyjs]

Yay, well done you!  it will get easier hun, and you'll find you can start leaving a little earlier in time.

It's really difficult to judge hun without looking at your logs. Sometimes, yes, giving them a quick 15mins CN can help to BT, but many won't take it so an EBT is key there. Don't be afraid of putting him down an hour or so earlier, many LO's tack on the missed sleep from the nap.

Ideally at this age you might be working towards 2 long naps and one short CN. I'll post a link with some sample routines for you... Remember every bubba is different though and won't necessarily fit into one of these routines. I drove myself crazy trying to do that. It just gives you an idea ok? Xx

chronological EASY samples, 4-6 months
Typical Amounts of Day and Night Sleep

[rooroo85]

Thanks that's helpful x