12 week old; trapped into nursing to sleep, how to start EASY

[Baby_A_Mama]

I think I've fallen into a trap with my 12 week old and I'm not sure how to best climb out of it.  We were doing very well up until this past week with naps. He was going to sleep nicely, a short fuss that was easy enough to push through, then asleep for a couple hours.  I hurt my back and then got very sick, as a result, I didn't have much fight in me and I would let him nurse to sleep for his naps.  At first he would still do a couple hours but the last few days he is a 45 minute napped. He wakes up very cranky, and won't be soothed unless I nurse him. He then nurses back off to sleep for a longer nap. I suspect he's growing dependent on nursing to sleep for naps.

His night time is pretty good. I often rock him to almost asleep, put him down and he wakes 2-3 times to feed and falls back to sleep with no issue.

I'm wondering how to best get away from nursing too sleep and how to get those long naps back. I'd really like to get a good EASY going but this is making it difficult.

Our schedule is roughly:

7:30am - wake and feed
9am - sleep
9:45 am -wake, usually try to extend but well only work for 5-10 min without nursing
12 pm -sleep
12:45pm - awake (Dd1 is napping so I usually have the opportunity to nurse back to sleep until 1:30 or 2)
4pm - sleep
5pm - awake
7 pm - he really wants to sleep but that leads to a late bedtime as he only cat naps here, I push him through until 8pm, he sleeps longer at night
8pm - bed
2:30am - feed
5:30am - feed
7:30am - start still over

I'm struggling to know when he's truly hungry because he often feeds at wake up, and then eats a bit before going to sleep. My last was a brutal napper but had other issues so wet had to roll with it. I feel like he has so much potential to doo it right this time but I'm having a hard time getting on track. Do I just have to buck up and enforce the easy for a couple days, knowing there will be some protest?  He well occasionally nod off with no help what so ever when he's really tired so I know the ability is hidden there!  Any suggestions on how to get on track?
 

[nevinsmama]

Hi there! I am hoping you are feeling better, these LOs are challenging enough without a hurt Mama! Well, you have to start somewhere and I would suggest that as LO is waking around 45 minute mark and not going back out that you start by pushing that 1st A time about 15 minutes and then brush up on shh/pat to start gently guiding LO towards more independent sleep and some self-settling. When beginning this, sleep will usually get a bit messy and LO get a bit OT, but keep your on eye on where you are headed. I wouldn't let LO go much past a 2 hour nap in interest of preserving some night sleep. Also, that last 3 hour A may be a bit much for LO, can your bring BT back some more in line with a typical 1.5 hour A time? 
Have a look here: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0 to help you get started.
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

[Baby_A_Mama]

Thanks for your reply. I haven't successfully extended the naps yet. I can't seem to get to him before he is wide awake. I will keep trying this week, setting my alarm 5 minutes earlier to make sure I can be there. However, I did manage to make some head way on the nursing and started to see the beginnings of 3.5hr spacing between feeds, except the evening he was more frequent.

Unfortunately though, we've gone totally backwards and all good progress we were making is gone now. I am hopeful we are just in the midst of a growth spurt and will shoot out the otherside any day now. He feeds every two hours, including all night. It's brutal, and I am so exhausted!  We were doing quite well overnight, with waking to feed every 4 hours or so, with the occasional 6hr one , but now down to 2 his. Does this sound like a growth spurt? Will he likely go back on his own? He is 13 weeks in 2 days.

I remember getting to my lowest point with my first burn around 4 months old, I had gone about 6 weeks with only a couple hours sleep each night. It was brutal. I'm really hoping this isn't the beginning if that and things may be different this time around.