Easy with unsettled baby and toddler around

[Florena49]

SOS

Hi ladies, Maks is only a month old and i think he has colic or at least his tummy bothers him. He cries a lot, especially in the evenings, he doesnt settle for sleep easily, he only sleeps in the ergocarrier during the day and with all the crying in the eve he either falls asleep on the breast or i have to walk around with him. I was hoping to get started with some sort of routine, but at loss how to with a 21month old running around and Maks crying. Is it early days? Ergo is great, but i just need a couple of hours to spend with Os and to be able to do a few bits around the house.  How do i get things started any ideas?

[Bex09]

Hi there and hugs hun. Those early few months are hard and I found that I just did what I could to make sure that we all got through! 

I think if LO is falling asleep in a carrier or in your arms for now that is fine, nothing that you can't sort later. I found that you can't be spending lots of time on the whole independent sleep thing with DD1 there to be cared for too. So a couple of things that I tried to do early on which might help was to establish a good EASY in terms of A and E times at first. My DS would sleep for different amounts of time, but I just had to go with that and just tried to keep the feeds spaced out and A times as consistent as I could. I also established a firm BT routine really early on, which was quite easy because DD1 always had a routine, so DS fitted in with that. We still do the same now, so bath, pjs, story and feed on DD's bed and then BT.

Also if you have help from your DP at BT or naps during the day then maybe you could work on getting LO to have some sleep in the cot? But I honestly wouldn't worry too much hun. When no. 2 comes along we all just do what we can to get by in those early days!  Hope this helps a little and it does get easier. 

[Florena49]

Hi Bex, thank you, its just good to hear all that from someone else, i keep telling muself that we will work it out when Maks is a bit more settled when his tummy isnt playing up, but in the end i guess i just want him to sleep. He sleeps in his moses basket in the night, i put him in there once he is asleep. From September i will have wednesdays without Oskar as he will be at the childminders, so i guess i could start trying for a nap in the moses basket for Maks. I mean what does a routine for a 1 month old look like. My DH does Bt with Oskar and ideally i would love for Maks to have something in place, but tonight he cried for a good 40 minutes so i really dont want to get Oskar all worked up before bed with maks crying in his room, so for now i guess we will just have to het Maks to sleep whichever way we can, but i will definitely try for naps in his moses on wednesdays. He is not easy to read, he can be awake for hours, how best to start getting him to sleep on his moses?

[Bex09]

I totally agree hun and when they are so unsettled like that then you just have to do whatever you can to comfort him and no point in upsetting DS1s BT either. I had to do BT on my own as DH worked late then, so had no choice than to do them together. But if you have help at that time that is great and you can work on settling DS2. Have you tried any colic relief meds? Such as colief, infacol or gripe water for his tummy? I know some people aren't in to these and I'm not sure on the ages that you can give them from but they might help? If he is really upset every night then maybe a trip to your doctor might help?

As for routines at 1 MO have a little look at this link hun...
chronological EASY samples, 0-3 months it gives sample routines which may help you with some ideas. 

For naps in the Moses basket you could do the same and put him down asleep for now or if you want to try for independent sleep you could try putting him down awake but drowsy and then shush pat if he cries. I would probably only do this if you are sure that his colic/wind pain isn't bothering him though. For now though hun just know that you are doing great. 😊

[Florena49]

Bex, he is on colief, i think it helps, but he is still hard to settle during the evening. We are going for the 8 week check up in September if it doesn't get better by then ill speak to the GP. Its not as bad as it was with Oskar (he cried 5 hours straight every night for a month).
Our other major problem has become night time sleep, he wakes at 3.30/4 and is awake for hours, grunting generally not crying, not interested in any food, by the time he is settled i gotta get up shortly for Oskar, im really not sure how to tackle this.
Ill have a look at the routines, thank u

[Bex09]

Hopefully you will find that if you can get him onto a rough EASY from looking at those routines and that might sort the NW too. It does sound though, if DS is unsettled and not hungry with the NW, that it could be discomfort maybe from wind. Hopefully that too will pass as he gets older and his digestive system develops. Do you always try to feed him when he wakes in the night? How are you trying to resettle him?

[lauradj]

Just popping on a Mom of 2 under 2 (well, not really now but DS1 JUST turned two last week).  It is all about survival in the first three months because your LO is so all over the shop.  The one thing I focused on was teaching DS1 what I needed at nap time from him.  So he knows he can stay in the room for story time but not while I'm actually laying DS2 down to sleep.  That took a solid month for him to understand and fair enough, they're still so young themselves.
I say embrace the baby carrier and remember that it will get better.  You can try and keep the order of EASY but don't worry about anything else.  The first three months are definitely the hardest.

[Florena49]

I cant actually feed him if he is t hungry, this is so strange, as my eldest one would eat whenever and it would make it so easy to settle him in the night. If Maks is not hungry he will just get irritated if i try and offer food in fact most of the time he starts crying and turning away, so i tend to pick him up and pat him and he settles, trying to avoid the crying as to not wake the whole house up, but mainly Oskar really.

This was our 2 days, all sleeps in ergo, i was hoping to get something established and try and figure out his A times and when the easiest time to settle him is.

7.20wu eat
8.25nap-10.25
10.25eat
11.15nap-12.45
12.45ea
13.55nap-4.10
4.10eat
5.40nap-6.15
8.20BT

8Wu eat
9.10-11
11eat
12.10nap-1.50
2 eat
2.35nap-4
4.30eat
5nap-7.30
7.30eat
8.40BT


Thank you Laura, i sort of gather that it wont be easy, it would be nice to have at least 1 nap a day for Maks in his moses, but even in his ergo, he needs resettling as he partially wakes. I know its early days and as its out last one, im enjoying the cuddles a lot. I cant quiet figure out the A times yet for Maks, so i took an hour as a starting point and will work with that. Hopefully good daytime sleep brings a good night.

[Bex09]

Those two days look great hun, well done. I would say those A times of around an hour are spot on as you are getting nice long naps after them. With LO needing resettling so much are you thinking that discomfort could be to blame? How is he when he eats during the day? Is he a good feeder?

[Florena49]

He is a brilliant feeder, he eats effeciently je burps and he is ready to go, he doesnt bring up any milk usually, just a good burp.
Im not sire about the resettling, generally its after the first 40 mins that he stirs and needs resettling. If he does sleep in his moses during the day he wakes more often, after 20 min then at 40.
Today the whole day is upside down i guess thats just normal with kids.

[lauradj]

It's totally normal!  TBH DS2, who is now 5 months, still doesn't sleep very long in the Ergo.  He'll sleep for 45 minutes, maybe an hour, often less and then wake because I'm moving around the playground with DS1.  It's just something I've accepted.  He gets a good nap mid-day and a good CN and we move on.  He's still on EASY but I've had to make adjustments.  C'est la vie, that's how it goes with two LO's!

[Florena49]

I remember having the dreaded 40 minute naps with Oskar, it was getting rather silly as i would have to pat him through transition everytime.
So i just assumed that Maks cant go from one sleep cycle to the other. I can see that he is very sensitive to OT, he hadnt slept well today, so he struggled to settle and is now very restless, bless him. I love this newborn phase, they are do delicious, but just feels like im constantly trying to get him to sleep.