Attempting to wean but really struggling with the sippy/cups !

[Mum2375]

Hi Everyone, I'm new to this forum and a first time mum, so please feel free to let me know the do's & don'ts of how this works.

I'm attempting to wean my 14 month (+ 1 week) old little man, but he just won't give it up. I've read, "don't offer, don't refuse..." and while that makes sense, he just won't drink enough from a sippy cup or a cup to sustain his fluid intake. I've also read, "make them a little thirsty..." but again, it doesn't seem to work either.

He is still teething, the molars starting to come through & he really doesn't complain too much and is doing great overall, coping with pain & discomfort.

The cups he receives, go everywhere, leaving only a drip or too in the bottom, he is soaked through, even though he is wearing a waterproof apron and the sippy cups, he's not doing much better.

I would say he is taking a little more from a sippy cup , but again, it gets thrown on the floor every 5 seconds. I clean it, and give it back to him, but boom ! On the floor again, so I clean it, and try again.

So ladies & gents, I'm not sure if this is just a phase or if I'm going to have bf for a lot longer.

Thanks for reading and hopefully you can either share your similar experiences or tell me what worked for you.

Any suggestions would be great.     

[michaeljacknnugg]

Can you get him a non-spill cup for this phase? We had some really good ones that had a non-return valve on them. No spills! But also they mimicked the action of feeding, so he caught on pretty quickly. We used them for milk?

You could stick to water in a sippy/open cup and just give him a small amount at a time. Tbh though we still use sports bottles a lot even though DS is 7.5. He only has water in them but given that they tend to migrate around the house, it's good to have something that won't cause damage.

[*Ali*]

A sports top or straw cup can help.

What milk are you trying to feed him in the cups? Cows milk, formula, breast milk or something else? Does he like it I wonder.

I think DODR only really works if LO is ready to wean and not asking much. It sounds more like he is happy to continue and it is you leading the decision to wean. Is that right? (No judgement, just trying to get a clear picture of what is happening) If so you might need a more proactive approach. When is he BFing now? Is it at regular times e.g. WU, after nap, BT, or is it on demand?

If you are happy to continue BFing then you could do that and try again when he is showing signs of losing interest. It might be easier for both of you. Depends on why you want to wean as to whether this appeals to you of course.

At 14mo he doesn't actually need to drink actual milk for nutrition so if he is eating a balanced diet then you should be able to get him what he needs by offering solid food like cheese, yogurt, milk on cereal and also non-dairy sources of fat, protein and calcium etc.

Also, check out our FAQ in weaning for details on other approaches. Weaning

[weaver]

 Ali is spot on.  Just to say my LO1 never liked to drink cow's milk, he just drank water from his cup, so it really could be what's in the cup. We had good success using a doidy cup (which is an open top but slanted so easy to use) from 6 mos with both LOs.  It's pretty inexpensive too.

[amayzie]

We were the same- no cows milk really (A little for enjoyment- but not much). Had plenty of yoghurt and cheese instead. We had great success with a straw cup too. Lots of BF babies take to straw cups quite easily.

[Mum2375]

Thank you everyone for your helpful comments, I mean it ! 

MJ&N - I'm going to get a non spill cup with non-return valve. Such a perfect idea ! Good idea on the sports bottles too.

*Ali*- Even your straw cup idea I think will work well with him too. Was trying him on cows milk, some warmed, some cold from the fridge and yes, maybe he's just not into it (yet?). Yes it is me leading the decision to wean, just wanting him to progress with his development of drinking for himself and I don't want to hold him back in anyway by continuing to BF. Maybe that didn't come out right, but I do feel a little judged by other mothers by continuing to breast feed. We went overseas when baby was 10months and came back when he was 13 months and it just seemed easier. I hoped it was making him feel comfortable given we were moving around so much with so many strange environments and foreign languages.
I was low in progesterone when 1st pregnant with DS and I read that Breastfeeding can lower progesterone levels as well. We are trying for number 2 and I figured that it may not help the progesterone situation when trying for the 2nd time. Also, DS is a long baby/toddler and I think people genuinely think he is a lot older than he really is. Should I care about peoples judgement, no, but it does chip away at you and your self esteem and it strangely makes me feel guilty & that I must be weird  to still want to BF. I don't want to, but I don't want to push him away either and the last thing I want is for him to not feel safe and that he can't trust me ?
DS is now demanding feeds a little more regularly as he is exploding with more teeth than he is due to have at this age. So, I'm not refusing him, but making sure he gets all his usual meals, snacks and pushing water at the end of each and in between meals. He does take a little more now, but it is still a low amount (I think). He doesn't seem to be that keen on cheese (yet), but likes yoghurt. At present, I am leaning to your suggestion of waiting till he loses interest, which started to happen until all of these teeth suddenly pushed through at practically the same time. Thank you for your link as well. Good reading ;-)

weaver - Thank you for the support on Ali's information & advice here, helpful to know it's worked for others too.

amayzie - Thank you also, great to know you lovely ladies are out there.

Thanks again, I don't know if this is how you are meant to address everyone's comments, but I hope you all understand how valuable you are to first time mum's like me, with no family or friends with babies around. 

[michaeljacknnugg]

Should I care about peoples judgement, no, but it does chip away at you and your self esteem and it strangely makes me feel guilty & that I must be weird  to still want to BF.

I know exactly what you mean. I'm happy to feed a younger baby, but extended breastfeeding is not for me. It's a very personal decision though, and totally your choice. You will get lots of support here!

Glad you're finding some solutions, it may well be that things settle a bit when all of those teeth stop moving.

[Mum2375]

MJ&N - Thank you so much for your support. To have people listen and get what you mean, let alone, be in a similar mindset is such a relief.

So funny, today although he wanted to BF quite a bit, (which was completely fine),  he took more water than he ever has by choice. So proud of him.

Going out tomorrow for a *quick lunch tomorrow with a gf and taking DS. I will only BF him before and after so I avoid doing it in public, but naturally if I have too, I will find somewhere completely private to do so. * Quick lunch, so I can get home sooner to be in private to support his needs in a relaxed environment for me.

"Glad you're finding some solutions, it may well be that things settle a bit when all of those teeth stop moving."

I think you are spot on and I feel much calmer about that. Thank you again. 

[michaeljacknnugg]

Glad to help! I've had so much support here over the years, it's only fair to pass it on!

[*Ali*]

Yes, it's hard when you feel judged.  Sometimes I feel if a mum isn't feeling judged for how long or short a time she chose to BF it is other aspects of parenting. Shame we can't all just be more supportive of everyone's decisions, eh? We try to do our best to do just that here at BW and try to encourage respect of each other as well as our babies.

FWIW,  the WHO recommend BFing for "2yrs and beyond as long as mother and baby want". I sometimes quoted that when people (health visitors even!) commented on me feeding a 1yo.

I also wanted to reassure you that 1yos are able to learn to drink from various cups whilst still BFing at other times. This shouldn't affect his ability to use a cup at all. Mine certainly could and my first 2 BFed until 26mo each. It was mostly morning and night or nap time so usually at home. At all other times they used various cups.

The other thing I did if I didn't want to BF was distract with other food or drink and/or just say it wasn't time for BFing now but he could have some at nap time or bedtime etc. That worked well as we usually fed at set times during the day like wake up, before nap, after nap and bedtime for example. Harder if you've always fed any time on demand though.

[Mum2375]

*Ali*  Wow, that's great to know. I think if I wasn't being judged I would probably continue feeding him up to 2yrs or beyond, only if he wanted to BF of course. Personally, I think 26 months is amazing and well done ! Sadly the old way of thinking still seems to be that of - "... 6 months max, and, when are you going to get him off the boob ?!..."
We know so much more now than we did when I was a baby and we will continue to learn what is best for bub if mother is able.
I think everyone needs to be educated on this as it would stop people from thinking that we are the weird ones for continuing to BF past 6 months !
5 years ago, I may have also been judgemental, as I was not educated on the matter.
So pleased mums everywhere are becoming more fierce and supportive of BF and the education of others on Breast Feeding.
Thank you for the support as it truly has been invaluable to me and hopefully others.
Just a quick update on baby, he is doing morning and night feeds and the odd feed during the day. The teething has settled down a bit for now.
He is enjoying being a big boy with his big boy cup,  and,  cup with straw & lid, and,  cup with lid & one way valve !!! He's experimenting with all 3 and it's great to see.
Thank you and I hope this is in some small way, is helpful to others.
XO

[*Ali*]

I'm really sorry to hear you don't feel able to do what you feel is best because of other people. I usually take it as an opportunity to re-educate people if they have ignorant views. I didn't realise people still thought babies "should" use formula, which is basically an inferior copy of what you have for free in your breasts! It just makes no sense.