Terrible 2

[me.surabhi]

Hello,

My son doesnt want to sleep in his bed. I moved him from his cot to toddler bed 1 1/2 month back. He has always had problems sleeping by himself. Very rarely it happens that he goes to sleep without a fuss or cry. But lately it has been very difficult for me and i am sure for him too physically and mentally.
He cries and cries at bed time and wakes up in the night once or twice and cries again. When i try to put him in bed he just goes on crying. Last night he was crying and lying on the carpet. I told him mamma is going to wait outside.. when u get on to ur bed she will come in. After 2 mins when i went he had slept on the carpet. When i picked him to put in the bed he woke up and started with the drama again. I dont know how to deal with this pls help.

[cath~]

((hugs)) that sounds tricky

Could you let us know what his typical day looks like, i.e. in terms of WU, nap time and lenght, and BT?

Also, have you always settled him to sleep in the same way?  Do you always stay with him?  What happened when he was in his cot?

What's his mood like during the day?  Any SA at all? Does he have all his teeth? 

What do you do when he wakes in the night?  Does he take long to resettle?

Sorry for all the qns, just trying to get the whole picture

Here is a link to a FAQ about the two different methods we would suggest for helping with this (although it's also important to make sure his routine is OK for him).  Have a read and see which one you think looks best.  If he's never slept independently before, then GW would be the one to go for.

Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

[me.surabhi]

Thank u for ur reply.
I figured that he is not very happy with sleeping in his bed so that day for his nap i took him to his room and after winding down i told him a couple times to climb onto his bed and obviously he dint lisen. So i told him that mum is going to sleep in ur bed and lied on his bed.. after ignoring me for a few minutes he climbed onto the bed with me and in 2 minutes he knocked out! I climbed out and ever since  bed time has been easier. I just say to him once or twiceto come to bed, he stalls for about 5 minutes then goes to his bed and gloats when i say good job!! I hope it continues...

I always stay with him when he sleeps. Earlier he used to sleep in the cot and then after a trip back home he got used to sleeping in bed with me.when i returned he wouldnt sleep in the cot anymore so i continued co sleeping but it was getting really diffiult so we bought a toddler bed and moved him there. The first week i put a mattress next to him in his room n then i moved out. He adjusted well. But recently after his 2nd bday he had become too much fussy.. but thank god its better now!!

Now i just need to figure a way to get him to sleep alone. M hope we get there soon!!

Thanks a lot!!
Surabhi

[cath~]

pleased that things are improving.

Do you let him play much on/in his bed during the day?  Perhaps some more time for him to familiarise himself with it would help?

recently after his 2nd bday he had become too much fussy.

Lots of LOs have sleep disturbances around their birthdays (and half birthdays) - it's to do with the developmental leaps that happen at those times.  Pleased he seems to be past it now.

Now i just need to figure a way to get him to sleep alone. M hope we get there soon!!

Since you've always been with him when he nods off it sounds like GW would be the way to go. Let me know if you'd like some help coming up with a more specific plan.

[me.surabhi]

Hello Cath..
Thank u soo much for ur help! I make it a point to let him play in his room  daily. And it is helping. Atleast bedtime is smooth now. His bedtine routine is like. Bath then dinner and play around with his toys downstairs then say gudnite to grandparents and toys and go upstairs to his room. There also he plays around with his cars  for a few mins then i have to start reading the bedtime  books to his softtoys.. that is when he says "mamma wait i am coming"!! then he climbs on the bed and reads a couple books and and lies down on his pillow. Thats is when i say nighty night and turn off the lights (there is a tiny night lamp which stays on all night). It is now when he sometimes decides to come give a hug to me or go sit on the bean bag or start looking for the cars again. (Earlier i used to keep repeating that he needs to get back to bed but now i dont say anything). After a couple mins or so he goes back to bed, rolls over here and there and finally sleeps!!! (All this happens between 7.30-8.30 pm)

So u c this part has become manageable. Now every night he wakes up once either at 11.30 or 2.30 or 4.30 and sometimes twice. And either one of those times he refuses to settle back to sleep unless i am holding him. I try to work the PUPD method.. but we can go on for 1 - 1 1/2 hrs. And if it is the 4.30 am slot then there is no going back to sleep!!  Sometimes he has nightmares which i can make out. But the rest of the times i dont know what happens!!

He goes to nursery  and usually takes a nap for 1- 1 1/2  hrs.

I feel i can work the GW method with him but dont know how to go about it in this case..

Sorry for bugging u with sooo many details.

Thanks
Sur ××

[cath~]

Pleased that BTs are going so well now

quote author=me.surabhi link=topic=279257.msg3084938#msg3084938 date=1444324830]And either one of those times he refuses to settle back to sleep unless i am holding him. I try to work the PUPD method.. but we can go on for 1 - 1 1/2 hrs[/quote]
At this age he's a bit old for PUPD.  I would just sit next to him and offer him comfort in his bed, perhaps with a hand on him (patting/rubbing, if that helps to calm him) and saying something reassuring or just sshhh-ing, whatever seems to help best.  That might help to reduce the time it takes for you to resettle him.

the rest of the times i dont know what happens!!

it's totally normal for toddlers to wake up and have sleep disturbances for any number of reasons and it's not always obvious why!  Eg my DD1 when she was going through developmental leaps often used to have NWs - just lots on her mind I think.

He goes to nursery  and usually takes a nap for 1- 1 1/2  hrs.

that sounds reasonable and since he's nodding off OK at BT suggests that it's probably about right for him.

I feel i can work the GW method with him but dont know how to go about it in this case..

Where are you at BT when he actually nods off?  Are you still sitting on his bed?  Wherever you are, the first step in GW would be to move a little further away from him so that he gets used to nodding off with you not quite so close to him.  Then when you feel he's ready, move your position a bit further away and so on, until you are out of the door.  Does that make sense?

Sorry for bugging u with sooo many details.

oh no need to apologise - the details help!

[me.surabhi]

Thanks for all the help Cath.
For the NW, i pick him up only when he doesnt calm down. But as soon as i put him back in bed he starts screaming. So eventually i sit nest to his bed on a stool and hold him. He cries for a while and then nods off while i have my hands wrapped around him and then slowly take them off.
BT routine starts around 7.30 pm and he is out by 8.15 or 8.30 at the most. Presently i sit on a stool next to his bed.

Thanks a ton!!