26 month - bedtime mommy FREAKOUT and middle of nite wu

[yaman]

our DS is 26 months old, moved to big boy bed 3 weeks ago. 

bath time is 6:30, 6:45. 
book time is 7:00, 7:15
aim to sleep by 7:30.     

wife puts him down by laying beside him til he sleeps,  if daddy attempts to try book and laying he loses his mind, crying, getting out of the bed to find mommy.  he gets so worked up he's gasping for breath so mommy comes in to relieve daddy.   and so the vicious circle continues.

then sometime in the middle of the night,  11:30, 1am, 3am, he will get up out of his bed and come to our room, mommy picks him up takes him to big boy and lays with him.

the questions are:

1) how do we break the bedtime routine reliance on mommy and going to sleep without her beside hime
2) how do we stop the middle of the night wakeups and how to handle them.

appreciate your thoughts.

[Haribo2012]

Hi there, can you post your day ie, nap time, length and morning WU time?

Has mummy always put him to bed or is this recent, and has he ever settled to sleep alone? It sounds a little like he's waking up at every sleep cycle and doesn't understand how to go back to sleep without help.

[yaman]

He's in daycare, usually, I think 12:30,1:00 to 2:15,2:30.   On weekends we can put him down around 1 and he will go to 3.

Naps he goes down with minimal attention.   Evenings, dad can do it some times and used to be able to while in crib, it seems since the big boy bed mommy is more appealing.

[Haribo2012]

Does it vary at all on daycare days to hone nap days? Just wondering if he needs to shave some off that nap to stop NW?

Have you tried gradual withdrawal or walk in walk out at BT?