NW likje clockwork - shush pat not working!!

[Jennafrappafrubalacca]

Please help me I'm at my wits end (again)!

My baby is 4 months old today and is formula fed 4 hourly and has slept through the night for several weeks now. He naps OK in the day but can sometimes suffer with 40min naps but we usually manage to make up for it throughout the day. We went through a phase a few weeks ago where he began waking 2hrly overnight but would be settled with shush pat (I thought this was an early sleep regression). He then stayed overnight at my mother in law's in a cot away from her bed and slept soundly so the following night we moved him to his own room and magic, not a peep for 3 nights!

Since those magical amazing fabulous 3 nights he's started waking up EVERY night, usually around 3:30-4:30am. Sush pat doesn't work. He's never been swaddled plus he now sleeps in sleeping bags. He's never had a dummy apart from when I've been on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The only thing to settle him is to pick him up, where he goes quiet fairly quickly but will often start up again when you try to put him down.

I don't know what to do.....I don't want him to get used to being picked up but when we've persevered with settling him in the crib he gets more and more upset then only a feed settles him but I don't want him to get used to that either! I've feverishly searched through my baby whisperer book for what to do and she recommends shush patting in the crib but that isn't working!

We're both fed up now, especially as he's now in a separate room which makes the night wakings even more disruptive! Please help us know what to do, what might be the cause?! 

[creations]

Ah sorry to hear you are fed up with these night wakings it is very tiring.
The 4 month sleep regression can be so disruptive it can feel like having a new born again. Just when you think everything is going well it all goes off track with their growth and development. This is a time for the brain to develop, for sleep patterns to change, and a growth spurt too (is he hungry when waking?), it can also be the beginning of teething so during the light sleep phase or at the sleep transition they may wake in discomfort rather than just going back to sleep.  It really is a time when they are in need of your support to help them through.
There's so much going on at this age.
Mine (at various ages) was often happy with a quick pick up. I knew the recommendation was to sooth in the cot but honestly my DS never read the book and didn't follow that guidance. A brief pick up though and cuddle and then put down again and he would really feel that he'd had my attention and comfort.  He also returned to independent sleep just as soon as he could, when the regression/developmental leap/teething or whatever had passed.
It is hard work whilst this is going on and feels like for ever, but honestly it is not for ever.  I was told there would be a magical change at 6 months and that was roughly what I found. Our sleep regression began at 3.5 months rather than 4 months and it ended at 5.5 months rather than 6 months.  It does feel long if/when it goes on for a full 2 months but keep telling yourself it will pass and if possible time table in some rest times for yourself or ask for support from family/friends.

It's a typical time for 40 min naps - you can look at your routine and see if a tweak is due, likely a longer A time, A times do increase quite dramatically from here to 6 months and if you are 'behind' then UT naps can happen.  I very clearly remember how draining it was to put my DS down for nap 4 or 5 times per day for a 40 min nap and have almost no time to go anywhere or do anything between.

[Jennafrappafrubalacca]

Thank you so much for your reply and reassurance that I'm not alone! I don't know the best way to quickly settle him overnight - I don't think he's hungry as he settles when held so should I perhaps try PU/PD? I've never used this method before though so any tips? He starts crying as soon as you try to put him down, even if he's very drowsy. Occasionally we can shush pat him after a cuddle but he usually needs us to hold him for a very long time before he'll go down, something which I don't want to become a habit!

I've previously posted about his naps and was advised to extend just awake time which has helped and he generally stays awake for 2 hours before he's ready for a nap. EASY has virtually gone out the window now as I'm just grateful for any naps at all so I'm just going with the flow and following EASY where possible but he usually falls asleep too early or wakes too early from his nap which throws the whole day off!

I will keep telling myself its not forever - I kept telling myself that about the night feeds and then as soon as they stopped the regression started

[creations]

should I perhaps try PU/PD? I've never used this method before though so any tips? He starts crying as soon as you try to put him down, even if he's very drowsy.

Although I pretty much always picked DS up when he called/cried because I knew that was how he would most quickly feel reassured, I really only used PU/PD properly during his transition from hammock to cot which he found very difficult.
I found he eventually nodded off the second I picked him up, I mean the second I picked him up, so (after proper cuddles and soothing and then PD) I only picked him about few centimetres off the mattress so he was still in a horizontal position and was no longer feeling the 'lift' movement of coming up high into my arms, and yet he still knew I had my hands on him and had lifted his body weight from the mattress - and he fell back to sleep like that because by then he was so exhausted.  The next 'PU' I didn't really PU, I put my hands and kind of lifted his weight only a little and kind of put him back down almost instantly.

Not sure if this helps you. i'm not great with PUPD having not used it properly myself other than the 3 nights of that transition.

Does he find it more comfortable to sleep with an incline do you think?

[lauradj]

I found he eventually nodded off the second I picked him up, I mean the second I picked him up, so (after proper cuddles and soothing and then PD) I only picked him about few centimetres off the mattress so he was still in a horizontal position and was no longer feeling the 'lift' movement of coming up high into my arms, and yet he still knew I had my hands on him and had lifted his body weight from the mattress - and he fell back to sleep like that because by then he was so exhausted.  The next 'PU' I didn't really PU, I put my hands and kind of lifted his weight only a little and kind of put him back down almost instantly.

That is a really interesting technique!  Have you shared this before on BW?  I don't remember reading it before and it's an awesome alternative to the full PU/PD.

[creations]

I've certainly described it before in a few threads but it's not on an official stickie or anything.
The thing is I have never done real PUPD because I used Karps 5s in the very early weeks, then Tracy's EASY and shush/pat mixed in with Karps 5s from there on out and DS was independently sleeping around 8 weeks or under. Of course he needed help through tricky phases but there was never anything I needed to use a real PUPD for.  The time I used it was transition from hammock by my bed to his cot-bed in the adjoining room.  3 days of hell TBH, I slept in the room on the floor, and in the blasted cot, anything to help him feel my support...really he was an independent sleeper who was desperate to be asleep and furious that he was no comfortable (or safe as he had rolled) in his hammock yet didn't want the cot either, but then he was also an AP-refuser so it really was a case of neither of us having any choice but to just keep going.
Does Tracy not describe something similar in her book?  I have a vague memory of something about this but I could be wrong of course.
DS was 9 months when I did this transition and this method of sort-of-PUPD, I believe the usual method is not to pick up at that age but DS *always* had to have a brief pick up if he was upset, PU, quick cuddle, back into bed, he didn't even want to be held long, in fact he'd kick off if I held him too long.

[lauradj]

I'll have another peek through the books but I don't think I've read the version.  It sounds like you and I followed almost the exact same path, minus the PU/PD!  Righto, time to stop hijacking this thread