amost 9 month old hasnt slept properly for 5 months!...

[st3r]

hi Im really hoping someone can help us!

My almost 9 month old little girl has never been a great sleeper but things went downhill when she was 4 months old and started teething and have been getting worse and worse until now. I am at a loss and sometimes feel at the end of my rope.

At night she wakes 5-8 times (only feeding once) but waking needing resettling all other times. Some nights it is so bad that as soon as we stop patting her back within minutes she will just cry again. Day naps she was pretty much always waking after40 minutes but before could sometimes go longer, now I have been resorting to feeding her back to sleep as she will just cry and cry and cry and with my sleep deprivation I cant seem to take too much crying!

BACKGROUND

My LO has eczema but is being treated with medicated creams and sleeps in a special eczema sleeping bag which covers her arms and hands to prevent scratching.

We have checked her at the doctors several times to make sure nothing medically wrong but they cannot find anything.

We give her teething medication every now and then incase its teeth but no effect.

She was a reflux baby and was on mediaction up till around 3 months and that helped her sleep then.

SLEEPING ARRANGEMENT

When her sleep started deteriorating badly at 4 months we moved her out of her bassinet onto a floor bed beside our bed. She is still there in our room only for the last 4 weeks we have put our mattress down next to hers so almost co sleeping cos of the amount of times she needs to be resettled during the night.

We never really taught her independent sleep. When she was young she napped in the carrier cos of her reflux but at night used to be okay with sshh (white noise) and back patting/rubbing.

Now we always try to resettle using back patting.rubbing/white noise but if this doesnt work we carry her, or now i breastfeed her.

For naps she used to go down with ssh/pat but last few weeks she tosses and cries for over an hour that often she ends up back in the carrier or sometimes fed to sleep!

OUR EASY ROUTINE

shes been on EASY since very little.. now a 4-4.5 hour easy that generally looks like this:

7:30 WAKE & BF
8:00 SOLIDS
10:30-10:45 NAP (try to sleep it can take awhile if trying in bed otherwise will sleep very quickly in the carrier)
          (now in bed or carrier she will always wake at 40 min, in bed she will more often than not not beable to go back down no matter what we try, sometimes I have to  bfeed her back to sleep where she will sleep for another 40 min, sometimes when she wakes and i bfeed again she wil go down for another 20 min or so).
12:30 WAKE / BFEED (after a difficult extended nap)
1:00 SOLIDS
3:30/4 - NAP (often this nap i will just put in the carrier as I just cant take much more crying and i have a 5 year old at home too) - usually a 40 min nap here
4:40/5 WAKE / BFEED
5:30 SNACK
6:30 SOLIDS DINNER
8:00/8:30 BFEED TO SLEEP (bedtime is a little late for her because daddy gets home from work around 7:30)
* during the night she usually will wake around 9:30; 11:30; 2; 3:30-4:40 (i will bfeed around this time one side); lately up around 5-6 and absolutely wont go back to sleep but cries and cries... for the last 2 days i have resorted to feeding her at 6:30 again one side) then she will sleep again til 7:30 (or if shes had a very terrible night till

I used to think my baby had a calm temperament but the older she gets she seems more spirited.

is there anything obviously wrong that is causing this whole not sleeping thing...i know i have set up alot of bad habits with the feeding to sleep and all but im just at the end of my rope and so sleep deprived as i said it has been going on for about 4 months now...

we have a cot set up for her in a shared bedroom but she cries so much that she wakes my son up so we havent been able to teach her how to sleep in there.

hoping for some help!

[nevinsmama]

Oh my, big hugs for you, sounds like you two have really been through it!
I think sometimes when LOs have discomfort complications when they are tiny, you just do what you have to do, and that is totally OK, it just means some work later on. Props can be undone and if you are ready to commit to removing some of them and working towards independent sleep then we are happy to help.

OK, assuming that LO's reflux is under control and the eczema is not flaring or anything, then I would begin with re-stablishing a true EASY pattern ( things may get worse for a while) to help LO get to some sleep skills. I would seriously get yourself a pair of earplugs, I am sensitive to crying as well ( I think most Mamas are!) and the idea is not that you can't hear LO,you can, but it will stress you out less.

What is LO sleeping now when not in the carrier? Has she got a crib or something like it? How about spending some time in there playing and having a positive association with it? Has she got a lovey or some sort of comfort item? Is the room fairly
dark? Aside from teaching LO how to sleep on her own, these things can help set the stage and encourage sleep.

I would start with the first nap of they day working with a 3 hour 15 minute A time including wind down and laying LO down  awake. I would get quite comfortable, maybe put a chair by her bed, and once you lay her down sit by the bed and see how it goes. LO will likely get mad and get up and scream at you, but only pick her up if she gets really mad, then repeat your sleepy phrase and lay her back down, even if she did not calm down. You can offer her lovey, pat the mattress and encourage her to lie down and if she likes having her back rubbed or a calm hand on her then that can help too. Stick with it until she goes out.

 If she hits the 40 minute bump, then sit with her and continue to try to resettle, maybe 15 minutes or so, or until you can tell whether or not she is going to go back out. If that is all the nap you get then you might trim 20 minutes off the next A time to keep OT away. It will be worth it and it will get easier. Check this link out with the general modified PUPD for this age. How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations)

What do you think? It really will get better, and honestly props aside, some LOs are just trickier sleepers, but Tracy believed all LOs could be helped with BW techniques and we are happy to hold your hand through this. Hang in there!

[st3r]

Thank you for your reply.

When not in the carrier she naps on our bed with me sitting next to her and at night on a floor bed. She has a cot set up in her brothers room but because she isn't sleeping well we haven't really put her there cos it will keep him up as well.

She doesn't have a lovey because her hands are enclosed by her eczema mitten sleeping bag as well.

Just this morning I took her in for her nap in our room as usual did the wind down with book she already started kicking and struggling out of my arms during the book time as if she knew she has to go to sleep. I then tried the patting as usual but she resisted for almost an hour.
I've also tried putting her down on her cot and she ended up crying badly and rubbing her face so much with her mitten pyjamas that her eczema on her face came back up. It makes me wonder whether Im doing the right thing or not...

We might have to try again next week when hopefully I will be in a better state of mind ...

[becj86]

Hi,

I wonder if you night be best off going to doctor again. Sleep got worse and stayed bad since shortly after the meds were stopped. Have you ever looked into milk or soy protein allergies? Just wondering as they go with both reflux and eczema.

The A time definitely needs an increase, she may be waking at 40min due to UT but then be OT affecting night sleep due to insufficiently restorative day sleep.