How do you manage changes to routine like Christmas??

[Conniesmummy]

As it says really.
Christmas day shouldn't be too bad as we are at my mums across the road so should be able to do our normal bedtime routine.
However we are going to my sister in laws at some point and it is about a 20 min drive away. Not sure what time things are happening. Do we say we need to get home for bedtime around 7, this is her last feed before bed, or do we feed there, allow her to fall asleep in the car which she will do, then risk her not going down as she will be disturbed getting out of the car seat??!!
I feel really thick about all this, it's hard being a ftm 

[creations]

Really everyone has their individual approach to things like this, it is totally up to you.
If you decide to stay later and suspect that the transfer from the car seat to bed will be disturbing then I would just brace yourself for that, expect it to happen and expect to need to spend some additional time helping her resettle. Expect that one night and possibly the next day too will be 'off track' but have faith that you will also return to your regular routine soon enough.

If you decide to leave early to get LO home in time for bed etc and to stay in routine then I would prepare your answer to family pressure/questions about this. Again brace yourself! If you believe it is the best thing for your LO and your family then be clear and confident in how you respond to external pressure, it's your decision, your LO, your night, your routine.  You could for instance say "SIL, we love being at your place and always have such a wonderful time, it would be a real shame to have the night spoiled by dealing with an over tired, screaming baby all night long after such a lovely evening with you. I really do need to get her home, it's best for all of us so we are not exhausted for the rest of the holidays, I expect next year we will be able to stay later when she's a year older and not so effected by over tiredness.  I'll really look forward to that."

Hope you have a lovely time whatever you decide!

[Conniesmummy]

Ah thankyou,
This is what I was expecting to hear.
I don't want to be a neurotic mother bound by a bed time routine, but she's so settled I don't want anything to disrupt it, its taken me an age to get here. If it seems an age anyway lol.

[creations]

It helps to be clear on whatever you decide.  Either way people can 'judge' you either for not staying long enough at a family gathering because you want to settle her at home or for keeping her up late and disturbing her routine. It's kind of a no-win situation until you decide what you are comfortable, the only right answer is what you choose

FWIW even at 3yo I arranged my mother's 70th birthday around my 3yo routine - their birthday's are only a few days apart so DS had a kids party on his day then a couple of days later we had a joint meal out for the pair of them with my mums friends and both their relatives. I booked the table for the second the restaurant doors opened, sent everyone a menu in advance so they could pre-pick their meals to save time on ordering, got us in there at 4.30pm, eating at 5pm, birthday cake with candles and singing at 6pm. We left at 6.30pm and dashed him directly home, skipped bath and just did teeth, face, wee and got him in bed for 7pm, his regular BT.  My mother and her friends/relatives stayed on at the restaurant for chatting, dessert, coffees and drinks.  Everyone seemed happy enough with the arrangements although some might have thought it a little odd to have their dinner so early they didn't say anything about it.

[Conniesmummy]

Lol, glad it's not just me that worries. I like my sleep lol x