Co sleeping naps

[Conniesmummy]

Ok. So some of you may have seen my other posts.
My dd is almost 5 months now and I have post natal anxiety. To help us both during the 4 month sleep regression where our naps have gone back to cat naps, I have resorted to co sleeping naps of we are home. So far this is working and besides a few niggles at bedtime some days, all is good otherwise. If she doesn't nap well she is very grumpy.
I'm hoping I am starting to feel a bit better and will be wanting to try and get the naps back in her cot. She was a fab cot napper and can self soothe as she sucks her thumb.
Any suggestions on what way to try would be appreciated x

[lauradj]

I would just go slowly hon.  Honestly, I know we caution against AP etc. but do what is best for you and your baby.  You could try doing just one nap in her crib and the other two on you, then a week or so later do two naps in the crib etc.  You may need to Shh-Pat or PU/PD but you may not.  Maybe just being another month or two older will make all the difference in the world. 

[Conniesmummy]

Thanks, I think we just need each other at the moment.

[weaver]

((hugs)) lovey, do what works for you both for now, you can revise your plan any day in the future. Take it easy on yourself.

[Conniesmummy]

Thanks, we've had some tricky bedtimes of late and usually come on a bad nap day, so I guess I'm trying to protect naps so she's more settled at bedtime.
I'm hoping her being a little bit older may help, if not then I'm hoping my pnd anxiety improves so I can tackle it! She is very clingy anyway at the min and I think this is part of the problem.

[lauradj]

Although everyone tells you to enjoy the baby snuggles, I honestly thing that's because a) they have never been a parent, or b) they have blocked the clingyness from their memories.  It can be really hard when baby wants you ALL. THE. TIME.  You feel like you cannot get anything done!  Truly hon, do whatever YOU think is best.  Are you getting support here and in real life?
 

[Conniesmummy]

So I thought I would update.
My medication was increased about a week ago and I am beginning to feel a little better. I am still Co sleeping naps if we are home and lo sleeps well.  When out she will wake bang on 30 mins and woke resettle. I have bought a snooze shade for the car seat and pram to see if this helps, she is a very nosey alert baby!!
So today I almost went back to the cot, but had a little panic so instead I lay next to her as opposed to snuggling. Before the half hour normal wake up time I managed to go to the loo and bush my teeth. Then I lay next to her but behind her so she couldn't see me if her eyes opened. She began to stir as usual 30-45 mins, but I gently put my hand on her arm and she resettled. Has now been asleep for an hour and 15 mins!! She is on her side flat on our bed and I was wondering if her sleepyhead pod was now restricting her somehow in her own cot. So call me mental, well I am at the minute! I am thinking of taking the pod away! She's not in the actual pod anymore we just put the outer cushion under her cot sheet.

[Conniesmummy]

So update was interrupted by an unhappy wake up! Settled after half an hour, blatantly still tired, rushing eyes yawning etc. I'm not sure if she's teething or maybe her reflux is playing up as she's got her fingers in her mouth whilst crying 😢

[lauradj]

Still, she slept for 1hr and 15 mins without you right? That's great news!!!  I don't know what the baby pod is but it sounds like you have things firmly under control 

[Conniesmummy]

I wish I did lol. Bedtime was a nightmare,  worse so far I think. I know she is ot from a day of rubbish naps. After the ok morning nap. She then had a usual 30-40 mins in the sling as we were out at the stables. She then refused to resettle despite her trying. I ended up lying with her at home and she slept for 30 mins again, but was due a feed then so I didn't try to resettle, this happens a lot if we go out. She then had her usual cat nap, but because of ot, she wakes up unhappy from this and is grumpy til bedtime, hence the nightmare!
After 3 attempts to put her down we ended up leaving her to cry it out, something I thought I'd never do. Hubby went in after a few mins to reassure and then came away. She settled herself within 15 mins. I think my Co sleeping is making her.mire clingy to me and although this is easy for managing my anxiety, it's not good long term so hubby and I have decided to do some gentle nap training as of tomorrow. She can self settle, is a very good thumb sucker, she just needs guiding back there I guess.

[lauradj]

If you are going to do sleep training please DO NOT use CIO or CC. 
I have include links below to help you support your baby as she learns how to sleep independently.  To ask your baby to go from sleeping with you all the time, to lying alone in her crib crying is unfair and asking for too much of a baby.    We do not support either CIO or CC at BW and I cannot help you with your baby if that's the direction you and your hubby choose to go. I know that sounds harsh but we are very opposed to that form of sleep training.  I will support you any way I can for any of the below mentioned methods.  I agree it would be a great idea to get DH involved in the training, if only to give you a break. 
 
Research on why 'cry it out' and 'controlled crying' is NOT recommended!
Shush-pat - How to
What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)
Teaching Sleep- Tips from the boards

[Conniesmummy]

I think you have misunderstood.  We don't Co sleep, lo has been in her cot since 3 months old and has always slept in a crib prior to this. I have only Co slept some naps to try and prevent ot.
We didn't just leave her to cry, we went I. And out every few mins and she was asleep within 7 or 8 mins.  The crying was her frustrated that she couldn't get off to sleep as she was ot and when she has been like that before and we have tried to cuddle to settle her, she has ended up worse and took hours to settle. I was willing to go against everything I believed in to let her cry and wouldn't have let it go in for any length of time. Especially as I have pnd and anxiety issues, they wouldn't allow me to do it, I would sooner Co sleep completely!!

[lauradj]

I'm glad to hear you don't subscribe to CIO but just know, what you described is actually CC.  What I would recommend is you give PU/PD a really solid try but let your DH start the process.  Tracy often recommended the non-primary caregiver start off because it is easier for them to persevere through the crying.  Make no mistake, your baby will likely cry but if one of you is there to support her, it will be, as you noted, out of frustration than anguish.  Let your DH handle the naps for a few days, and you can nap or just read a book while he takes care of your DD.   

[Conniesmummy]

Have tried pu /pd and sh pat and it winds her up more sorry. I think we had the meltdown due to chronic ot. I'm gonna hopefully sort naps to help prevent it getting that bad.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Conniesmummy do you have horses also?

I have two and my 3mo tends to have his naps whilst I muck out or bring in. Helps a lot . My big horse is getting very spoilt as I'm hanging around at the yard waiting for the baby to wake up!