Waking all night but won't eat

[Lindsay27]

Not sure if this is a NW issue or a feeding issue...

Up until a about a week or so ago DD was doing great, she's 7 weeks now.  She would generally wake through the night every 3hrs, feed 3-4oz, then back to sleep.  Sometimes her initial stretch she'd go 6hrs and a few times she did 7-8hrs (7pm - 3am).  Things have seriously gone downhill and now after 2am she's waking every hour but refuses to eat.

She will generally make it from 7pm - midnight and feed them back to sleep, but then starting at 2am she will wake, I try to feed her but she'll will only take 1oz, then she'll wake at 3am and eat another ounce, over and over again until about 6-7am where she might go down for another 2ish hours.  She fights the bottle the whole time and often just ends up spitting up pretty well everything she ate.

Tonight I tried to wait to feed until he 3hr mark before attempting to feed her (she is not actively crying just tossing and turning) in the hope that she would take a good feed, but no, she only took 1oz so she is no doubt going to be up in an hour because she's hungry and the process will repeat every hour.  I just can't understand why come 2am she refuses to feed and if she is not hungry then why she is waking?  At some point she has to be hungry but then continues to refuses to eat anything substantial, then continues to wake.

I know there is a regression around 6 weeks but if anything I think she would be increasing her intake, not flat out refusing it?  I don't know what is going on but I've been surviving on 3hrs  sleep the last week or so and I'm crashing.

[lolsyb1982]

Does she have a dummy? Could she just want to suck for comfort?
Is she feeding well during the day?

[Lindsay27]

She does take a soother and I have tried giving it to her and she will just keep spitting it out.  She feeds fine during the day, 3-4oz every 3 hrs.  She used to take 10-12oz overnight and last night for example she only took 7.  She is otherwise perfectly happy during the day.

[trimbler]

Hi there, could you say a bit more about what happens when she wakes? You say she's not crying, just tossing and turning? How long do you leave her before getting her up and offering the bottle? I'm not convinced she's waking to eat, if she's feeding well during the day. I personally took encouragement from my LOs tossing and turning in the night as I knew they were still alive (!) and saw it as a positive sign that they were learning to self settle I wonder what would happen if you just left her a little longer? Perhaps she's go back to sleep without your help, or with just a little shh or hand on her? Or is there more to her wakings than I realise?

[Lindsay27]

I was just letting her toss and turn for 45mins-1hr.  Things have calmed down a lot so I think it was really the 6 week regression causing all the problems.  She is back to doing longer stretches, but even when she wakes she's not all that interested in eating.  Her first stretch is the longest and she'll do anywhere from 4-7hrs and when she wakes she feeds well, then she is pretty well on a 3hr cycle for the rest of the night and those feeds she hardly takes anything.

I do wonder if I am intervening too early and she's just not ready to eat yet, but I seriously don't sleep when she's tossing and turning like that.  Let's say she wakes at 2am and eats which can take anywhere from 30mins - 1hr (she tends to poop during the night when eating...sometimes multiple times, which can make the whole process really long), then I get her back down at 3am and she starts tossing and turning at 4am, I've only slept an hour.  It makes for one tired mama!  Then she wakes fully at 5am and will only take 1-2oz.

[Lindsay27]

Tonight she was in bed by 7pm, stirred/tossed and turned around 1:30am but I didn't touch her and she ended up going through until 3:30am, took a big bottle and was back down by 4am.

I do think I was probably intervening too quickly, I just struggle so much with an LO sleeping in my room I think j kind of just think "oh she's waking up" and try to feed her when really she's just trying to settle herself.  I moved DS to his own room at 8 weeks because I didn't sleep a wink while he was in our room and ended up needing to go on sleeping meds for the next 1.5 years!  I'm doing better sleeping with her than him, but still not great.

And, again it did seem like the 6 week regression played a huge role too.

[trimbler]

Glad to hear things are looking up I know what you mean about sleeping in the same room as a newborn, I was terrible with that too! But I found it so much easier with DD as we use white noise, which does help us sleep through some of the noises, but more significantly for me, helps me not to worry so much about her waking up to our movements With DS, whenever I heard him stirring, I'd wake instantly and freeze, afraid to move a muscle, until he'd settled! It really does feel so different with DD, and we still have her in our room actually, as it's either that or in with DS and that doesn't feel fair on him just yet as she's still unsettled some nights with teething etc, or waking early. Anyway - I 'm just trying to say consider using white noise to help you both get a bit more sleep

[Lindsay27]

Ha it's funny because I'm actually the opposite, I hate all noise, even white noise.  I like sleeping in pretty much dead silence, which is why I struggle with DD in my room.  And since having children I've become the lightest sleeper ever  . I am doing much better with her than I did with DS though. 

I think though I will try to not feed her when she is tossing and turning and hold out until she actually cries, under the assumption that she is jail resettling herself.  Of course at any time if she needs to eat I will feed her, but I will try to follow her lead a little marrying teas if assuming that when she's tossing and turning she's ready to eat.

[trimbler]

Oh I know what you mean, I wasn't at all sure I'd be able to sleep with the white noise and would always choose silence for sleep but I did adapt to it much more quickly than I'd expected and now hardly notice it - and it has the plus side that DD's noises are masked. Up to you, of course As for your last sentence, I'm assuming your autocorrect went a bit crazy there? Couldn't quite work out what it was meant to say?

[Lindsay27]

Duh! Yes, good ol' autocorrect! I can't even make out what I was trying to say lol

I think I meant follow her lead a little more instead of automatically assuming she is ready to eat.

[trimbler]

Yes sounds like a plan - I know it's hard though, especially when you're lying awake just waiting for her to just settle or tell you she's hungry On the plus side, when mine did that I tried to see it as good practice in self settling, even if they didn't end up settling themselves - eventually they'd get better at it so I hope you see that happening too, not least so that you can get some more sleep yourself! I still end up sleeping in the living room some nights as it doesn't disturb DH so much, but for us it's teething... Btw, love your avatar

[SassyJs]

Not sure if this is a NW issue or a feeding issue...

Up until a about a week or so ago DD was doing great, she's 7 weeks now.  She would generally wake through the night every 3hrs, feed 3-4oz, then back to sleep.  Sometimes her initial stretch she'd go 6hrs and a few times she did 7-8hrs (7pm - 3am).  Things have seriously gone downhill and now after 2am she's waking every hour but refuses to eat.

She will generally make it from 7pm - midnight and feed them back to sleep, but then starting at 2am she will wake, I try to feed her but she'll will only take 1oz, then she'll wake at 3am and eat another ounce, over and over again until about 6-7am where she might go down for another 2ish hours.  She fights the bottle the whole time and often just ends up spitting up pretty well everything she ate.

Tonight I tried to wait to feed until he 3hr mark before attempting to feed her (she is not actively crying just tossing and turning) in the hope that she would take a good feed, but no, she only took 1oz so she is no doubt going to be up in an hour because she's hungry and the process will repeat every hour.  I just can't understand why come 2am she refuses to feed and if she is not hungry then why she is waking?  At some point she has to be hungry but then continues to refuses to eat anything substantial, then continues to wake.

I know there is a regression around 6 weeks but if anything I think she would be increasing her intake, not flat out refusing it?  I don't know what is going on but I've been surviving on 3hrs  sleep the last week or so and I'm crashing.

Same situation. I am glad it's improved for you.

My DD has been waking up every 1-2 hours these nights and not taking a proper full feed. On,y wants 1-2 oz. she is 8 weeks.

Could she be looking for the pacifier to suck? I noticed she sucks the paci more while previous times she will spit out after deep sleep. And she is trying to suck her fists and thumb but is not successful. She is successful to break out of her swaddle though!

[Lindsay27]

She could definitely be comfort sucking, have you tried a pack at all?  My DD did these crazy night for about a week and then it was over and now she pretty regularly only has 1 NF.  I would maybe try a paci and see what that does, if she isn't taking a full feed she could just need the comfort.

[SassyJs]

Yes I ended up replacing the paci every 1-2 hours. Let's hope it's just one of those nights!