New to the forum - first I've joined as I've read lots and this just seems so supportive of my style of respectful, gentle parenting - so thank you! I've read a lot of the 9-10 mo NW posts and found some good links, esp the separation anxiety post.
My LO was waking/BF once per night (after 3:30) for a few weeks prior to Christmas. Thought we were finally onto a good thing. Then we went overseas... To a very hot humid place, and within 2 nights he was in hysterics at bedtime and at all NW until BF to sleep (usually after 1-2 hrs awake time - hysterical even though held). He had very sporadically been fed to sleep prior, never at bedtime or before 4am. For rest of holiday (3 weeks) we bed shared and he was waking 1-2hourly and for the sake of having a holiday I was BF to sleep. Also because it was so hot he needed the hydration and being 3rd world, the immune support. So anyway we returned home early Jan and for a week he slept well in own cot/room with only 2 NW/night. Then it all turned rotten again! 3-5 NW, first one if before 2:30 I try not to BF, he will scream the house down until BF and is usually awake 1-2.5 hrs. If not fed immediately he will stay awake even after feeding... If fed immediately he would sometimes go straight back down. Will no longer stand DH going to him at night, hysterics. 'Real tears' distress sweating etc. even when being held and comforted by me, unless/until he has boob. Even when all else fails and I bring him to bed - usually will just play with (read - claw at) my face until he's tired again. The last week we have managed to get back to mostly one night feed but 1-2 wakings are still happening and they are still long and at very inconsistent times. Rarely will get him back to sleep with shh pat at night wakings unless before 12:30am and even then it takes an hour. He is an amazingly contended daytime baby, only ever hear him cry at night. He used to self settle sometimes, usually required touch. I do a gradual retreat and it sometimes works then regresses. Never works at night, has to be touching or held. He cries as soon as he wakes during day or night, and is standing/sitting in cot when I go in. After first NW he wakes every 1.5-2.5 hrs until morning.
My plea for help is so that a. The length of NW shortens, b. DH can also calm him at night and c. I get 5+ unbroken hours at some point in night! Not aiming for sttn necessarily as I don't mind the 3-5am BF. Routine goes mostly like this
A 6:30/7ish
BF 7
Solids 8
Sleep 3hrs after waking 10 (chronic cat napper, anywhere between 30m-1hr)
BF 11/1130
Lunch 12/1230
Sleep 3.5 hrs after waking. Usually around 2/2:30. 30min never more.
BF 3:30
Dinner 5
Bath 6
BF 6:30
Bed 7.
Any advice hugely appreciated!!! Sorry for the novel... Figured the more info to start the better!
Oh also he's in 80th centile weight/height, eats really heartily, protein fats and carbs every meal and loves water.