Author Topic: help getting my 13 month old to fall asleep by herself and sleep all night  (Read 916 times)

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Offline lauracharlotte

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Hi everyone, can anyone help please.

I need some advice about my daughters sleep habits I hope someone can help me as I haven't had a full night sleep for 7/8 months.

When my daughter was 2 months old she started sleeping through the night from 8pm till 8 am sometimes until 10am, at 5 months old she suddenly started waking at least once some nights it could  be 6 times. I was too soft and thought she was too young to use c.I.o. so I started holding her until she fell back to sleep sometimes she needed a bottle to settle her. She has settled down abit now but I thinks thats because I let her sleep in my bed when she had a cold and wouldn't settle without anyone and now its just habit so that we both get as much sleep as possible but I want my bed back and a full nights sleep. She still also has a bottle during the night as well. She can't go to sleep by herself night or day. Most days she will only fall asleep once for about 30 minutes after me sitting with her and having a bottle. She has a bedtime routine which starts at 7  this starts with a 10-15 minutes bath, clean PJs and a bottle of milk I put her In the cot when she has fallen asleep( I think this has been the cause of the problem as she always fell asleep having her bottle and I didn't want to wake her before putting her down) usually about 7.45. I can try cry it out for about 10-20 mins but then feel so bad I have to hold her as she will just scream we tried getting dad to settle her but usually she just screams for me I have started leaving her with family a couple hours a week so she gets used to being away from me and also tried not giving a bottle or given water but she screams for milk. My heart breaks listening to her cry and also tired but i am getting closer to try this again, does anyone have any suggestions for me to try it would be appreciated alot , thanks.

Offline Shiv52

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Hugs xx. Lack of sleep is horrendous.

At BW we do not support CIO as Tracy felt it breaks the bonds of trust and can cause further issues so I wouldn't suggest you go down that route.

In my eyes falling asleep is a skill like any other and one that takes a bit of work to get there especially when you have props in place like bottles and holding etc. I would not expect a baby to settle themselves through the night unless they have independent sleep skills through the day.

So you can definitely make progress but I think it will take a week or two of being really consistent. There likely will be a lot if crying while your LO gets used to the new way but the difference is you'll be there reassuring her rather than leaving her to cry alone.

Can you post what your day looks like?  Sometimes too much or too little day sleep can add to night wakings and inability to settle too. But I do think teaching independent sleep skills is the way to go too.

Hugs xxx





Offline Buntybear

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Hi there, It sounds like you need to do some gradual withdrawal with your LO as she is so used to having you there to get her to sleep. Yes she will still cry as she adjusts but she will cry knowing that you are still there loving and supporting her (though she may not realise it at the time!)

Have a look at this link and see what you think;

Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)