Sleep trained 14 month old waking up at night- HELP

[pebbles_222]

Our son was never a good sleeper but at around 4 months we sleep trained him. Until I started work 2 months ago, he was sleeping independently, 11-12 hours at night with two naps between an hour and an hour and a half. The 2nd week I started work he starting waking up at night a few times. Previously if he woke up he would maybe cry for 5 mins max and settle himself but these times he would stand and scream. So we would go in and pat him to sleep. Then his night wakings started to get more frequent. And now for at least the past 2 weeks, he has been waking up 3-4 times a night.

Patting doesn't work at all, we've stood over his crib patting him for like 40 mins and he stays relaxed but doesn't fall asleep. Perchance if he does, he wakes up like 20 mins later. Not to mention our backs and legs are completely done in from leaning over his crib and patting. I've tried going in there and just sitting in a chair and reassuring him and singing to him but he just stands in his crib crying for like 45 mins. We've been so exhausted we just bring him into bed but he doesn't sleep that great with us either and wakes up at like 5:30 am.

Every night getting him to sleep is a mission. He ends up taking a long 3 hour nap, because he's so exhausted so I just end up putting him to bed at 6:30 but the cycle repeats itself again.

Initally when all this started I attributed it to separation anxiety, then he was walking and he got in a tooth as well, but its been 2 months since his sleep has been a mess.

Both  my husband and I are exhausted. We've never been fans of cry it out but we feel like there's nothing left for us to try. Don't know what to do anymore.

[Haribo2012]

Hi there so sorry things are tough for you right now, we don't support CIO at BW so let's look at something more gentle for u.

I would say for us this age was hard and unsettled at night too so your not alone, they have so much going on with teeth, new skills etc and SA if your back at work.

Can you post your day for us to look at so we can see if there is anything that needs a tweak!

[pebbles_222]

So since he started waking up every day is a little different so I'll just maybe just start at Friday. So since he's been up most of the night he's in bed with us and is typically waking up between 5 and 6 am, maybe because the sun comes in and we don't have curtains. So then I'll nurse him, he'll have his breakfast. Our nanny quit as of Friday, so my husband was at home with him.He woke up at 6:30 that day. He played, fed him a bunch of times and put him to bed at 9:45. He woke up at 12:15 pm. Note on Thursday we put him to bed at 6:45 pm and he slept almost 8 hours before he woke up the first time, it had been a while since he had slept that long in one chunk.

I think about 2-3 weeks ago we were still putting him down for 2 naps. But he was fighting the afternoon nap and wouldn't go down. We had started waking him up after 1-1.5 hours max in the morning to make sure he was tired enough for the afternoon but then he still wouldn't sleep so he would be super overtired because he'd have been up since 11 am. I didn't necessarily feel he was ready for 1 nap but didn't feel like I had any options because waking him from his first nap was backfiring. So we changed his awake time in the morning from around 3 hours to 3 hours and 15 mins to 3 hours and a half. So he's been taking 1 nap thats sort of 3 hours long.

After waking up at 12:15 pm, he just ate, played outdoors in the park, we took him to the mall. I think around 5:30 pm we brought him home. He'd already had dinner so I nursed him, took him for his shower. My husband put him in his sleep sack, read him his bedtime book and took him into the bedroom. He had to pat him for about 45 mins I think. So he was asleep by around 7 pm I think.

In general we try to not have him be up in the evening more than 5-5.5 hours. His bedtime routine is usually eating, nursing, bath, book and into bed. When he was on 2 naps his awake time was more like 3-3.5 hours.

[Haribo2012]

I wonder if he's ready for just 1 nap and it being nearer the middle of the day. Early naps can interfere and cause EW then you can get into a bit of an OT/UT loop.

If he's up at 6.30 a nap at 9.45 could be in need of pushing later in the day. At this age my DS1 was napping around 11.30 for 2-3 hours and having a 13 hour day.

I'd try pushing his nap by 15 mins every 3 days until it gets so he had more equal A times morning and afternoon.

[pebbles_222]

will try that Haribo, we did actually put him to bed at 11 today because we tried at 10 and he wouldn't go down. But he woke up after an hour and 50 mins. Will that be ok?

[Haribo2012]

It can take a while to lengthen naps when your playing about with times but I'd say that was a decent nap and just watch his behaviour and move bedtime a bit earlier if he's getting tired x

[pebbles_222]

ok, how should we handle night wakings when they do happen?

[Haribo2012]

At this age walk in/walk out or gradual withdrawal. I'd prob do GW if he's used to you settling him.

[pebbles_222]

unfortunately with night wakings even patting him doesn't really work anymore. we'll do it for 45 mins and even if he falls asleep he'll wake up pretty much as soon as we walk out the room. So I don't know if GW will work? We've just been bringing him into bed with us.

Tried WI/WO a few times but he doesn't even let us leave the room just stands in his crib and bawls. We'll keep trying that I guess, though, because standing over a crib for 45mins to an hour is way too difficult.

[Haribo2012]

It's just like any other prop takes a while and being consistent to break the habit. Patting st this age could stimulate him.