Author Topic: Why is shush-pat not a prop and what self soothing skill does baby learn in this  (Read 1793 times)

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Offline whattoexpect

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Why is shush-pat not a prop and what self soothing skill does baby learn in this process

This must have been asked before. If so please point me to the thread.

Wouldn't baby rely on shush-pat to fall asleep? I remember when I was a kid (much older like 4 or 5) my parents rub my back to put me to nap. And when they slowed down or stopped I would stir up and whine so they would continue rubbing. So I am wondering.

If not, what self soothing skill is baby learning? Mine is swaddled so no hand sucking, no hugging lovies.  Also no paci. So how do they sooth? Something like hum themselves to sleep?

Offline Martini~

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It is a prop in some way, depending on age however in my opinion. So for a baby aged up to 20/26wo it's such a mild intervention that it doesn't interrupt their sleep. You can shhh/pat to every sleep and they still can self settle later at night or during naps. At later age of you shhh/pat at 9mo or later it can be a prop. Over one probably even sitting in a room can be a prop. So firstly it depends on age.

Secondly it's about prop elimination what matters - shhh/pat is something very easy to eliminate. You shhh quieter (and now with white noise machines you don't have to if the machine can work all night) and by the way they usually don't get used to shushing (as they grow older it just is not helping them to settle). With patting - you pat less and less and so on. It's usually quite easy and simpler than sleeping on a boob correlation or any other like rocking or babywearing.

There are different kids but independent sleep means different things at different age in my opinion. You cannot expect a baby of 6 weeks to nod off without any of your assistance (however some can do it - usually Angel babies). But as they grow you can expect more and more. I would say after 4mo (usually the moment you ditch the swaddle, and after two massive growth spurts and sleep regression) you can expect most of the children to be able to really go to sleep independently. But once again some will do it earlier, some will need slightly more time. It all depends on child.
« Last Edit: May 23, 2016, 11:41:04 am by Martini~ »
~Marta

Offline anna*

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Agreeing with PP. Even with a little baby (over 4 months or so) you can successfully sleep train just by ensuring that you sh-pat only until the baby is quiet, or gently grumbling, rather than shush-patting all the way to sleep. So it becomes a method of soothing them, but not something you have to do for every sleep, only when they are upset, and only until they are calming down.





Offline whattoexpect

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Thanks for the advice martini and Anna. It totally makes sense