TV over 2yo - what do you think?

[kayra]

with ds1 I didn't really let him watch much before 2 and that was very short periods but I haven't been as strict this time round partly b/c ds1 watches and also b/c I just need those bits where the twins are sitting still and quiet! we're generally out and about in the morning and they potter about in the house a lot so I don't have a problem with so,e screen time. Often wen they get up from their nap ds1 is finishing watching sthg (wind down after school and that way he's quiet while they're napping). They might look a bit depending on how interested they Arek then they get to watch their thing which is my time to cook in relative peace, ds1 does hw or sthg. Our faves are Elmo, Teletubbies, Maisy, PeppaPig, Baby Einstein or Brainy Baby (I think they're the same company), Something Special. None of my kids have liked Thomas although they like the books. Ds1 enjoyed Bob the builder and postman pat but I think they need to understand a bit more to be able to watch those.
I would say that ds1 does more screen time than I'd like-he does a language learning thing on the tablet too and has some games he and dh play-but he does enjoy his Lego and has a vivid imagination etc, so I don't feel like he doesn't know what to do with himself unless he's on a screen so I can live with it.

[Katet]

With DS1 because I had really bad sciatica while pregnant with DS2 we introduced some TV, it was actually only old videos of Spot & Maisy, which weren't that different to the books I'd read to DS1, he'd watch them over & over. As he got older he'd watch Wiggles & Thomas The Tank Engine & Postman Pat & Bananas in Pyjamas & Bob the Builder - all on videos & then DVDs so no ads & the same ones over & over so he got to learn the plots or the songs etc.

As they got a bit older I had some pretty bad depression & they did watch quite a lot of TV, but once they started school they hardly watched it preferring much more to be outside kicking a ball & their viewing has dropped off to mostly just watching sporting matches & some evening TV with the family. At 11 & almost 13 if they happen to turn it on now they are  likely to watch a History Documentary or the News or a quiz show if there isn't sport on. Both stopped watching 'kids TV' at around 7 or 8yo.

[-Maya-]

uh Marta, this is a soft spot for me. I tried to answer to post a couple of times already but I could not find an agreement with myself on what I want.

I hate TV, I grew up watching far too much TV. And I can't avoid to watch to TV if it is switched on. Even if there is no audio or the TV is far away, I just stay there watching TV like I am hypnotized.
DH also do not like TV so we do not have TV at home. Striclty talking, DS does not watch TV at home and I am happy like that. Often I wonder how I was able to find time to watch TV in the evenings when I lived with my parents. Of course DH and I watch movies and TV series using on demand platforms, but we do it rarely more than two days a week.

DS watches TV when he is at my mum's and he likes a lot Masha and the Bear. When he is at DH mum's she puts DVDs for him and she has a huge collection of classic Disney cartoons. I do not particularly like any of those options but I do not want to fight those battles. Indeed it is good that DS can learn that different households have different habits.

My big concerns is youtube videos as DS seems addicted to them. He wants to see them all the time especially when DH is around, as DH is more prone to say yes to him. We started watching simple videos in English (i.e. little baby bum or dave and ava videos), then we added masha and the bear and Thomas the train. But now he wants to see videos of training arriving in train stations (yes, there are people making movies of all kind of trains arriving into remore train stations). To my dismay now he also wants to see videos of people unboxing toy cars.
I know that video and internet is a strong part of my family and how DH and I are. Technically we can say we met each other thanks to the web. And I have no particular reasons to deny him to watch videos sometimes, especially because I check what he is watching and I do not feel particularly dangerous contents in what he likes. Then we comments together what he sees quite often. And also for him is good to listen to a lot of English.

But still I do not like it. I cannot rationalize exaclty what. A possibility is that I fear he will become a nerdy socially incapable teenager that just wants to play computer games. Believe me that too many people I met in my life are on that side and I know what I am talking about, and I do not want this for him. On the other side I am a strong believer that denying too much something is coutnerproductive as DS will develop even more his preferences from what I try to deny from him.

Back in topic, Marta, my experience is that I cannot totally choose what DS watches in TV and he has developed his preferences that do not coincide with mine. So I had to do compromises on that and I would rather not doing that.

To finish with a funny story I say that DS at 2yo is totally capable of selecting videos that he likes from youtube. Once he wanted to watch the advertising of Panda (the car, don't know if you have it) that he selected by himself for at least 5 times one after the other. At least he will never have issues with technology...

[creations]

videos of training arriving in train stations

Ha ha! DS was exactly the same at that age   Also dumper trucks and diggers, just digging land lol He loved them.

A possibility is that I fear he will become a nerdy socially incapable teenager that just wants to play computer games

I think just having this in mind means that your child will not turn out that way. I recently heard of a girl only 1 year older than DS (so 6yo) taking her tablet to bed and playing until she fell asleep, meaning often she was awake at 11pm or 12am.  Children will do things if parents let them, she was pretty much a"addicted" to that tablet. But I never have any fear of mine becoming addicted because I'd never in a million years allow him to take a tablet up to his bedroom.  We are a long way off the tweens & teens years but I am almost certain I would not be having a TV/DVD/computer/Games station/tablet in DS's bedroom even then and I will likely be that parent who doesn't allow the mobile phone to go upstairs too.

[*Liz*]

As a Mama with older kids, I find it is all party personality as they get older. DD likes the TV on in the background as she does all manner of dancing and gymnastics all over the room  . DS1 is pretty handy with a remote control these days, and so will watch whatever he likes really. Our TV is quite basic, but can access you tube, and he has enough literacy skills to perform simple searches now  . We honestly do find he self regulates well. Its a bit harder on cold, wet, horrible winter days, but in summer he would rather kick a ball around the garden anyway. Same with video games - he has a PS - but will play for 20 mins then wander out into the garden instead.

DS2 only recently even noticed it was on  . He LOVES Mr Tumble on cbeebies - it is a baby signing program. He has pretty limited verbal skills currently, and signing is his 'language'. He wanders into the kitchen when he is tired and puts his finger on his nose - and that means he wants to watch Mr Tumble  . I think it is nice for him to have something he enjoys like that.

[-Maya-]

This thread is make me rethink about tv. So thanks Marta.

[Katet]

Children will do things if parents let them, she was pretty much a"addicted" to that tablet. But I never have any fear of mine becoming addicted because I'd never in a million years allow him to take a tablet up to his bedroom.  We are a long way off the tweens & teens years but I am almost certain I would not be having a TV/DVD/computer/Games station/tablet in DS's bedroom even then and I will likely be that parent who doesn't allow the mobile phone to go upstairs too.

This ^^

We have 3 TV's in our house but not one in the boys Bedrooms & they will not get one while they are still at school. We do allow iPads & laptops in bedrooms but not after 8pm. As the adults we make the rules & we  also enforce them - which is the key to enforce the rules.  DS1 has a mate who has TV & gaming console in his room. He's not allowed to use after 9pm... but does his Mum & Step Dad enforce this... rarely, so he's often on it late at night, but while he does that at home, socially he's not nerdy or a die hard gamer, its just he can fill his time that way so he does when he can.

I will admit it is easier to enforce if you have a child who self regulates (DS1 is better than DS2 - is that age???) but at the end of the day it is a child's job to try & push boundaries & work out risks (it's part of learning) it's our job to keep the boundaries appropriate and workable & keep them safe. I kind of see it like a child going on a slippery slide the first time we do it low & hold them the whole way... eventually they climb up & go down with us watching from the distance, but we don't get there in one step.
Some children can do their homework in front of a TV & not even notice the TV is on, others are glued to even the Ad's (my brother) so it's about working with what they can or can't do in terms of how it impacts their life.

There is a boy in DS2's year, an 11yo now he is a "nerdy" computer child... he always has his laptop & he never plays sport etc, why because his parents "don't have time to do sport with him" for many years the computer has been his babysitter & it works for the parents & yes the parents aren't all that interested in him , they don't turn up to school things etc. ie (IMHO) they don't care enough to think about the big picture of his life & so just let him as a 7,8,9,10 & 11yo do what keeps him happy.