Whether to wean...

[Sarahw123]

Hi all,

I just wondered if anyone could offer me some advice/reassurance.

My little boy is 5 months old today and I took him to be weighed.  Having always been pretty stuck to the 50th percentile line, he has dropped to the 25th (still gaining weight), and shot up height wise from 75th to 98th (though I always think the height is a little more subjective!!!)

He is exclusively breastfed, but the health visitor suggested I start to wean him now because his weight gain has slowed down, but I'm not really sure it's necessary or whether he's ready.  He is on 4 hour easy, so 4 day time feeds and a dream feed.  He is never hungry between feeds and often is still asleep at feeding time, but then takes a full feed when he wakes/I wake him.  The only exception to that is early evening when he usually gets hungry 3-3.5 hours after the last feed, but as that fits well with bedtime, I feed him whenever he is hungry at that time.  His dreamfeed is a bottle of expressed milk and he takes 200-225 mls.  Do you think this means he isn't getting enough milk the rest of the day?  He then sleeps through to 7am or thereabouts.

The guidelines on weaning say they need to be sitting unsupported (he isn't - unless you count sitting in a Bumbo?), and have a good pincer movement, which he doesn't.  He also isn't hungry between feeds as I say.

So I kind of feel like she is saying my milk isn't enough, yet he is always happy and laughing in between feeds so I really don't think he can be hungry.  I guess the only thing niggling me is the dreamfeed and whether that is having some sort of impact on everything?  I just feel a bit demoralised by the HV (though she always manages to p*ss me off somehow!) and need some guidance from other mums please!  Would you start weaning or alter the dreamfeed in any way?

Thanks!

[michaeljacknnugg]

If he's happy and content between feeds and going that long at night, I'd ignore her. He's tall, not heavy, by the sounds of things, have I got that right?

It's possible he's started moving around more and that's another reason for growth tailing off.

I weaned baby no. 1 at 19 weeks and no. 2 at 26 weeks. Wow, what a difference! He's practically snatched the food out of our hands and is having a good old explore - complete with sound effects and plenty of mess. No way he'd have been ready at 5 months.

Pincer grip comes later, but the ability to sit with no wobbling, and to bring something from hand to mouth is what you're looking for. Also we got much more 'concentrated' dirty nappies which apparently means the digestive system is maturing.

[Sarahw123]

Hi MJ&N,

Thanks for your reply.  When you say sit without wobbling, do you mean on the floor?  He can sit in the Bumbo for a very short period without wobbling.  If I sit him on the floor or on the bed with his legs spread out he just falls straight over sideways (which he finds hilarious!).

He can bring things to his mouth - ie his toys, muslins etc, but I wouldn't say he's very good at getting something small in his mouth - ie if I give him a teething ring (as he's got two teeth) he can't ever seem to get the right bit of it in his mouth or keep it there if I help him.

I hate the way she always managed to make me lose confidence in myself!!!  Just when I was feeling like everything was sussed as I just managed to wean him off being swaddled for naps whilst still keeping his schedule!  Hate hate hate it!

[michaeljacknnugg]

I mean that wobbly head thing they do. Would he be ok sat in a high chair yet? A bumbo supports them more than a high chair so it's not a good indicator.

Mine couldn't sit on his own when we started. But he was fine in the high chair.

Personally I avoid health visitors like the plague! They always make me feel so scrutinised.

Believe me, you are doing great. Just trust your instincts, and listen to your baby.

[Sarahw123]

High chair currently on order so I'll at least wait until that turns up next week and see how I feel!  He sits well on my lap so I suspect he'd be ok.  Thanks for the clarification!

I should avoid this woman too but I'm too scared of being told off for not getting him weighed!  Silly really.

I honestly did think I was doing great until I spoke to her

[michaeljacknnugg]

I've had mine to clinic once (oops!). And that's because I felt he should have at least a bit of a line in his red book.

He's smaller than his brother in terms of weight, but growing out of clothes much more rapidly - he's tall, already. I go by clothes, are they being outgrown? Is he developing roughly on track? If yes then there's really nothing they can tell you off for.

[Sarahw123]

Thanks, I know he's fine really - he's such a lovely, cuddly, giggly boy.  And yes, outgrowing clothes as expected though mainly for his height and doing everything he should be doing I think.  Thanks again!

[creations]

Personally I would not start now based on what you have said. You do not sound comfortable to start and your LO sounds perfectly happy and healthy on his breast milk.
From what I know it is perfectly normal and within a natural range to move one centile line (so from 50th to 25th) without any concern, if a LO moved 2 centile lines it would be worth looking into.  it sounds like he's just used his weight to shoot up in height for a growth spurt.

Sitting unsupported means ability to sit without toppling over - of course in past generations LOs were started on solids much earlier so this was not used as an indicator, but it is now.  Mine was desperate for solids from 4.5 months but did not sit unsupported until 5.5 months.  for feeding I sat him in a high chair and helped him out by propping him behind with a folded towel (the chair seemed so big!) because he spent a long time eating and the sitting part was quite exhausting work...but he was not leaning backwards in anyway and that's important.

It's totally normal to have a DF until 7 months or even later so don't worry about that either. That will not be weaned until solids are established.

Honestly sounds like everything is good to me.  Some HVs do have a knack to get to us!

[weaver]

I agree, personally I would avoid this woman and not feel bad. I never took my LOs to be weighed, or to see the HV, I could see they were healthy and doing well but I was also very aware that they were on the small side, I'm small too, and I knew I'd get nonsense advice that I just didn't want to have to deal with! You say your LO has just grown taller but hasn't yet filled out again. That's a totally normal pattern and a clear explanation of why his centile has changed.

Sounds like your LO is in great shape. It's up to you when to start solids. My LO1 started the day he grabbed a banana out of my hand and chomped it down! He has always been a fab eater, LO2 likewise was slightly over 6 mos, able to sit independently in a high chair and take an interest in food in front of her.

Really you should be guided by (a) LOs readiness and (b) medical advice given because of concerns you raised. If you had no concerns before you went in, I don't see why you'd have them now.

[Shiv52]

My HV is torturing about my LOs weight gain. I'd a lot of BFing issue post birth and she was really slow to gain weight.  She wanted to do weekly weigh ins and I declined. She is coming on Thursday and I'm going to say no more. She is petite like me and fine.  BUT my point is she was very clear in her HV advice that weaning really shouldn't happen to 6 months so I'm surprised your HV suggested that as opposed to more milk feeds if she's concerned.

I actually don't feel from what you've described that there is an issue at all. Your LO seems to be perfect and thriving so honestly I wouldn't worry at all and try not to let her shake your confidence. You're both doing great xx

[weaver]

as opposed to more milk feeds if she's concerned.

good point!

[ireneasheard]

You have to go with your gut. Personally I've got not intention of starting solids until closer to 6 months. If your baby were hungry he'd let you know! Showing interest in people eating food isn't enough of a reason to start solids nor is just sticking to a hrowth percentile line. Babies grow in spurts and height may come before weight gain or you just have a baby that is not heavy. There's no right answer, I guess you have to decide what's right. Hand to mouth helps but sitting up I would no have thought is a great indicator of readiness for solids? I'd look at gagging - that gag reflex is quite strong in babies that aren't ready for solids, they will push food out.

[Katet]

yet he is always happy and laughing in between feeds so I really don't think he can be hungry.  I guess the only thing niggling me is the dreamfeed and whether that is having some sort of impact on everything?  I just feel a bit demoralised by the HV (though she always manages to p*ss me off somehow!) and need some guidance from other mums please!  Would you start weaning or alter the dreamfeed in any way?

This to me says trust your instincts! I think there are 2 types of HV... those that think all Mum's are idiots & they like to do everything by the book (their book)  those that actually make efforts to help & be helpful & who know that babies can't read & they don't know what the book says they should be doing. IMHO if he;s happy & sleeping well, then I'd probably say "it ain't broke, don't fix it"

[*Ali*]

Plus, ounce for ounce breast milk has more calories than any solid food he'd be eating at this age. I wouldn't even avoid her. I'd just tell her you don't feel he's ready and since he isn't hungry before feeds he must be content.