2 1/2 yr old refusing to go to bed since DS2 popped up (and a bit before)

[katkniep]

Hi

We've been getting increasing problems with our DD1 since DS2 popped into the world in April. My husband has been bringing her to bed for over a year now and i was starting to notice problems before the birth. She was fantastic for me - i'd used easy since she was a few months old. If i told her it was lights out and go to sleep, this happened without fussing.

The current situation:

Midday nap 12.30/1pm-2pm
Wind-down ritual: teeth brushing, milk, stories.

About 5 mins after turning off the light she comes into the lounge saying she can't sleep, and this repeats itself over and over again, she gets another story from my husband, then she needs the potty, and before we know it, it's 9.15pm with an overtired todder.
I know she's been testing him and its just getting worse since DS2 (2 months old) and i think all my hard work is coming undone!

Please can anyone help before it gets even worse!!??

Kat x

[Haribo2012]

Hi there, do you think it might be time to get rid or the nap?
What time is WU/BT?

[katkniep]

hi

WU is from 6.45-7.30 and planned BT between 7.30-8pm. I've no idea if she's ready to loose the nap, she's definitely tired come 1pm!

[Haribo2012]

Id prob try bringing BT bit earlier, see if she's got built up OT.

Is she getting lots of mummy time? Could you swap and do BT for a while? When my ds2 arrived DS1 who was 3.5yrs needed lots of me time, lots of stories and cuddles in bed at BT.

[katkniep]

I should add i was away twice in the past month for several days at a time as my mum died, she was missing me and crying.

I've tried bringing her to bed in the past month but she always wants daddy! I wasn't able to bring her to bed during the pregnancy because of hyperemisis, so he took over and since then she wants him to do everything, she has always been able to get away with a lot more with him as well.
I've been trying to get as much story and cuddle time in as she allows but she's very stubborn with who she wants and where!

Will try with getting her in bed earlier-aim for 7pm?

[Haribo2012]

Poor you sounds like you've had a rough few months.

My DS plays daddy a lot more than me 

Yeah sounds good, she might be faffing about as OT and can't settle x

[Lindsay27]

This isn't going to help much but I do think a large part of this is developmental.  My DS did this from 2.5-3.5 and it only stopped when he dropped the nap completely.  At 2.5 he was no where near ready to drop it, but it did mean a whole lot of BT shenanigans.  We probably would have dropped it sooner however at daycare nap was mandatory so we were struck between a rock and a hard place.  I agree that brining BT forward might help, then when she's done all the faffing about she will be asleep at a more reasonable hour ya know?

[katkniep]

Thanks for the tips ladies, will start bringing this bedtime forward today and see how it goes, she is the queen of faffing! x

[Haribo2012]

Ha ha aren't they all my DS fave trick is to want a poop right after stories....knows can't refuse that one 

[Lindsay27]

^^Ha ha yes! Of course this coincided with potty training for us so he magically needed to used the potty 47 times after he was in bed