19 months SR and a newborn. HELP!!!

[Flowery1106]

Hi,

My DD has always been a good sleeper until about 2 months ago. I thought it was a typical 18 months SR phase so I waited a bit but now it's getting worse.

She's def sleep deprived. She always falls asleep in a car, refuses to nap or go to bed, early wakings, night wakings almost every night (usually lasts 10 min) and it takes too long to fall asleep (20-40min) and she gets very cranky near bedtime.

Last night she woke up to cry and only wanted to be held or play. My dad held her for half an hour but I didn't want to make it a habit so I made her sleep in her bed. It lasted a good few hours and this was the second time it happened.

I'd like to know how to solve this  rather than blaming it on 18 months SR. So please please help..

Here's the background:

The arrival of a new baby (although she doensn't seem to be jeal).
She has a very secure attachment with me and my parents.
We can't go out to play as much as she wants.
I'm staying at my parents house temporarily (due to a newborn).
She sleeps with her grandmother in the same room since 3 months ago.
My parents(co-carers) are quite permissive with her unlike me.
She needs to be settled by someone when she wakes up.
Bedtime is too late.

This is our routine:

6:30 - 7:00 am Wake
8:00 am Breakfast
12:30 am Lunch

Nap - usually happens anytime between 11:00 am to 2:30 pm. ( for about 1-2hrs
 
6:20 - 7:00 Dinner
7:30 - 8:00 Bath
8:00 - 8:40 Bedtime

Bedtime routine usually lasts 30 min follows by bath, reading and a few lullabies.

As you can see, it's quite incosistent and I don't think it will be fixed on its own. Should I change the routine to 7/7 wake and bedtime? Should I make her sleep on her own in her bedroom? If so, how should i keep her still in her bed? It's just a toddler bed and not a cot bed so she can come out easily.
Any advice welcome!!

TIA. Thanks for reading.
 
 

[Flowery1106]

And what shoud I do about naps? I think I'm being way too flexible.

How do you know when she needs one in the morning or in the afternoon? As soon as she shows some signs? If she rub her eyes at 9am, shoud I send her to sleep?

Also, today she had her dinner at 6 and went to bed at 7:50 and it took nearly an hour to fell asleep. ( Since we came to my parents house, I usually stay with her til she's asleep. Maybe I should stop staying with her?

Pleaseeee reply thanks..

[jessmum46]

Sounds like you have a lot going on!  ((Hugs))

OK there are lots of reasons there why she may not sleep well.  Can I ask - has she ever gone to sleep independently without someone in the room?  I would probably suggest tackling that as a first issue and can give you some ideas about how to do it

In terms of routine I would be aiming for a nap at about the same time daily - toddlers this age respond well to consistency.  Our routine was 6/6.30 wake, 11.30/12 nap and 7pm bedtime at that age.  Her day is pretty long right now - could you manage an earlier bedtime?  Would probably help catch up some of that sleep debt.

Will look forward to your answers and happy to help with a plan x