Author Topic: Many months of EW for 12mo old  (Read 566 times)

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Offline Antie66

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Many months of EW for 12mo old
« on: July 15, 2016, 11:30:17 am »
My lo (12 mo) co-sleeps with daddy (with me he will just wake up for comfort feeding constantly) and wakes very early in the mornings (sometimes as early as 4am 😫). He'll get told by daddy to go back to sleep, which he'll (baby) do, but it's frequent wake-up / light dozing from then onwards, until they get up at 6am (never got him to sleep beyond that) and baby will take a big milk feed from me, followed by breakfast after having got up/showered/dressed. He eats 3 (large) meals and additional snacks during the day, plus a milk feed before bed (and two more additional milk feeds on the 4 days a week I'm not at work). He has two good naps during the day (1+ hrs each), usually between 2.5-3 hrs in total and I make sure he's not over-tired at bed time. Could he be hungry? Any suggestions?

Offline jessmum46

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Re: Many months of EW for 12mo old
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2016, 16:22:16 pm »
It may be a bit too much daytime sleep for this age, a long nap of 1.5-2h and a short nap is more typical.  Could you post the day in EAS format so we can have a look?  But to be honest if he's not an independent sleeper I would probably be looking at that first, light sleep is normal in the hours leading up to morning but if he doesn't know how to settle off to sleep by himself that will exacerbate the problem. 
***Katherine***







Offline Antie66

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Re: Many months of EW for 12mo old
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2016, 16:51:21 pm »
Ok, so yesterday was "the day after nursery" - he goes to nursery once a week (always Wednesday) and although he gets two reasonable sleeps (usually around 1 hour) he is always knackered the following day.

Wednesday:
WU 5.30am
S 10.45-11.45
S 3-3.45
BT 7.30

Thursday
WU 5.30am
S 9-11
S 2.45-4.15
BT 7.30

Friday
WU 4am (frequent waking until 6am then got up)
S 9.40-10.40
S 2.10-3
BT (will aim for 7 as he now is very tired!)

He does have trouble settling by himself, but he's not by himself, he is next to his dad. We hope to have his nursery finished next week ... It will be a whole new struggling to get him to sleep in his own bed again.

« Last Edit: July 15, 2016, 16:56:53 pm by Antie66 »

Offline Antie66

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Re: Many months of EW for 12mo old
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2016, 13:25:06 pm »
He had quite a bad night on Friday, he was co-sleeping with me (daddy needed a break) and woke frequently wanting feeding. We did eventually stay asleep until 7am though.

Saturday
WU 7am
S 10-11.30
S 4-4.20 (in the car)
BT 7.20
WU 6.45

A reasonable good night and few NW (next to daddy again). He didn't want dinner, but did have a big bottle of porridge before bed and I gave him a dream feed before I went to bed at 10.30pm. So whether it's the extra food or less sleep during the day, we'll need to see.

Today
WU 6.45
S 11.10 - 1.20 (he did wake up briefly, but I cuddled him back to sleep)
He'll not get an afternoon sleep today, but early BT and hooefully he'll have a bottle again too.

Let's see what the night brings tonight.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: Many months of EW for 12mo old
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2016, 22:02:10 pm »
I would guess the long day sleeps aren't helping. You're in the 2-1 transition I think and may need to be a bit more conscious about not letting him make up for a bad night with his daytime naps.  This may help: From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older) I do think realistically though if you are co-sleeping this isn't going to help the issue and personally speaking I would be working on a gentle way to teach him to get to sleep on his own in his own bed. We all wake briefly through the night and resettle - but a co-sleeping baby will disturb you whereas one who has independent sleep skills won't unless there is a reason :)
***Katherine***







Offline Antie66

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Re: Many months of EW for 12mo old
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2016, 19:09:16 pm »
Hi Katherine, I just wanted to give an update, as I see quite a few other people have also read this post and must be having the same problems. I have to totally agree that the main problem is that my baby (ahum .. Toddler!) has hardly ever fallen asleep by himself. There have been ups and downs and there have been times I was able to put him down sleepy but awake and he fell asleep by himself, but those days were rare and long gone. He is very used to falling alseep with me there and preferably on the boob, although the past weeks he would feed until nearly asleep, then roll himself around and fall asleep cuddled into me (lovely times for mummy!!). Unfortunately this needed changing, as it resulted in many NW and EW. I also agree with your observation that we are very much in the middle (possibly nearing the end) of the 2-1 transition. Generally he makes it through the day with 1 longer nap now (from about 10-11 am for 2 hour nap), although he may still wake up in the middle of that nap and I need to settle him - I hope that with our night progress that will befome better too. Today was even the first time he has taken a 2 hour nap at nursery - where before it would usually just be two 40-70 min naps (maybe because of our night progress, maybe just coincidence ... who knows) So, what did we do ...

We have moved house recently and I did up his room real nice, with a fabulous wall sticker that he loves. There is very little in his room and we just played in it (it's completely baby proof) for a day or two. I bought him a toddler mattress and put it in the corner, on the floor. Yes, just on the floor - I'm making him a floor bed, but couldn't wait for that to be finished and wanted to move him. And he cannot climb into ambed yet, and I certainly did not want to risk him falling out of a bed. I did not want to put him in the old cot we used before starting co-sleeping because he has only ever screamed in it, he tries to climb out and he was used to the 'open bed' (our bed), rather then being barred in. I really think it did the trick. I have been feeding him on his little mattress on the floor, as I normally would do, but then he's been too excited to stay in his bed after the feed. We would read a book on his mattress and he'd crawl around some more. I then just put him on his mattress and give him cuddles and kisses and leave the room (all of this takes about 15-30 minutes). He scReamed for about 2 minutes and then it just stopped. He just crawled back onto his mattress and went to sleep. Imthought maybe it was just luck, but he did it again this evening, with only 30 seconds of screaming. He also woke only once during the night (I did not give him boob), and I just went in to reassure him and kiss him good night. I feel like when Imstay, I just make it worse, the screaming just got louder, but when I left, he'd settle within minutes of me leaving.he woke up 5.45am, which is about as late as ever and he just dozed for an extra 15 minutes on his mattress befor estarting chatting to himself (then i went in to give him a good feed).

I see him on my baby video monitor (that does give me peace of mind he is actually in his bed and not just somewhere in the middle of the room) sleeping now. Again he went to sleep, by himself super easy. I just hope the night will improve too. The 'method' (for those who are interested) I try to follow in general is the Montessori philosophy, by Maria Montessori - that's where the floor bed idea comes from. I also have (only a few) of his toys within reach and a couple of books in his room (plus his dresser which is locked).

Ok I hope that helps some other desperately tired mummy's out there. It may be worth a try. I'll,update this post in another week or so, to let you all know how progress have been.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: Many months of EW for 12mo old
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2016, 07:05:47 am »
I'm really glad you've seen some improvements :D  Thank you for sharing your story and it's great he feels so comfortable in his new room.  Hopefully it will get easier and easier as time goes on, and you will find you meet less resistance to you leaving.    I'm sure if the screaming had persisted you'd have gone in to reassure again?  That's what we'd recommend just so LO knows you'll always be there if really needed :)  But certainly at this age some hanging back to assess whether it's really an 'I need you' or just a protest which quickly settles (sounds like his is the latter) can be very useful.  Well done! xx
***Katherine***







Offline Antie66

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Re: Many months of EW for 12mo old
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2016, 11:04:03 am »
I'm glad you mentioned that if the screaming had persisted certainly i would go back to reassurance again? I'm not sure whether it's the novelty of the room and bed having wore off or the fear of being left, but he now no longer quickly settles. Have gone back to a mix of gradual withdrawel and caving in, but must try not to feed him to settle him, as that was the major problem in the first place ...  :-[

Offline jessmum46

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Re: Many months of EW for 12mo old
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2016, 18:58:02 pm »
Hugs, let us know if we can help you with a plan x
***Katherine***