Self settling training after 18mo sleep regression

[Bella89]

Ok, so I think we're coming out of sleep regression with DS. He will be 18mo July 25th.

But i feel like we did lots of AP, and now I don't know how to go back to my self settling baby:/

We do a great wind down. I know because he is so relaxed and sleepy when I put him in his cot. Nothing I do can make him fall asleep. It's DH rubbing his cheeks and singing (I strongly suspect DS is falling asleep not to listen to his daddy singing) :p My presence only stimulates him more.

How do you sleep train a toddler at this age?

This is how we roll right now:
1.I put him in his cot 100% relaxed and ready, kiss him goodnight and say something like "see you tomorrow, we have this or this to do when you wake up"
2.He mantra cries for up to 20min, calls for me then cries.
3. I enter and tell him to lay down. Sit by his cot.
4. When he is calm again, I leave.

This can take up to 2h:(
HELP!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

What is his routine right now for the whole day? Just wondering if that needs a bit of a tweak to help with the settling.

[Bella89]

6:30 WU
7:00 breakfast
10:00 snack or not
12:00 lunch
Between 12 and 13 nap till 3 (I have to wake him up)
4:00 snack
6:30 supper
7:00 milk to drink, but I have to drop it since he is waking up at night sometimes to pee. He is not PT, but we started when he was showing sings of readiness
7:30 bath and wind down
Right now he falls asleep between 8:30 and 9:30. I know it's late, but it takes so long:/
I think 8 is his optimum, he is tired just enough by then. But doesn't want to fall asleep on his own, needs attending. He didn't in the past. After wind down we were leaving the room and that was it

[Laura_kap]

we have a similar issue - daughter (spirited/angel) will be 18 months on the 30th of this month...she is going through the 18  month sleep regression, getting over a congestion cold and molars...fun


so her schedule most days looks like this:
6:30 wake
7:30 breakfast
11:00 mini lunch
12-1:30 nap - (i have to wake her at 1:30)
2:00 mini other half of lunch
5:30 supper
7:00 bottle
7:30 bedtime
(she usually goes to bed exactly 6 hours after waking from nap)
SO 11hrs at night...1.5 hours daytime - usually.....


if I try to put her down earlier than 6 hours A time - nuclear scream fest...
if I try to put her in her crib still awake as per usual - nuclear scream fest
some days she naps easily...other days (like today) she only naps on my chest in the glider - I tried to put her into her crib, and she was awake after 15 mins - and wouldn't go back to sleep, even in the car....just not having any piece of it...

when she was an infant I sleep trained her with shush/pat....never had to do much PU/PD or WI/WO....so I have no idea how to get her back on track - I'm exhausted and would love some thoughts on this as well.

thank you!

[Bella89]

See, once DS is sleeping he sleeps hard. Some nights he would wake, but most are solid.
If I leave him to sleep during nap time, he would make it 4h:/ We recently decided to wake him at 2h, but I wonder if I try to wake him at 1,5h?! That would extend that time to BT.
I think they are just getting older and need less sleep during the day, but are still sleepy. Difficult to find that balance. It's a guessing game I think ;]

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

It is a guessing game! I just noticed in your op you used the phrase "nothing I do will make him fall asleep"...at this stage nothing you do really can, it is all on him. It is up.to us to set the stage for sleep but the actual sleeping part is 100% in his ballpark. If the whole bedtime settling is taking 2 hours then he probably is starting off with being ut and then getting ot if he doesn't go to sleep so maybe a good run of capped nap days will give an idea of that is the case. And loads of physical activity to wear him out!

[Bella89]

Ha! I noticed that if we played soccer outside at 6pm-7pm he fell asleep very easy, at 8.20 (bottle, bath and sleep). Maybe that's the key.
Also, I think I will cap naps at 1.5h. But I'm terrified. I woke him up that time yesterday, and he was grumpy for an hour later:/ Today he slept 2.5h because i was at work. It's not going to be an easy night;]
Maybe you are right. Creating a good environment and that's it

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Loads of sleepy vibes! How have the last couple days been?  Yup the extra exercise is a great help in the sleep department. I hated capping naps but if it results in better nights it is so worth it!

[Bella89]

Well, I don't know if I should say better or worse... My feelings are mixed.
Day 1: DH and I discovered the magic of music. We sat in front of the computer with DS an our lap for 3-4 clips and he became sleepy, then we laid him down in his cot, so falling asleep was not a struggle - 15min instead of 1,5h:/ I don't like it, because it doesn't get us closer to self settling a bit. Today is his OT day, so tomorrow, I will try usual, bath, reading and BT. DH was ecstatic that DS fell asleep on his lap once. Yay

Day 2: DH took DS for a bike ride, and DS almost fell asleep in his bike chair. By the time they got home and I tried to move him to his cot (it was 12, without lunch, but it was pretty hot and DS didn't eat the whole day) his eyes were wide open and didn't want to go back to sleep at all. He was awake 6am till 7:20pm. No nap. He fell asleep literally with a straw in his mouth while I was trying to give him some milk to drink. Woke up 5:30. He fell asleep at 11, he was really tired.

We plan to go to the pool afternoon, so I hope he will be rested from this nap and tired from the pool (it's his first time) and I will try normal BT, no computer. I hate the idea of that. This morning he wanted milk in front of it. From this is only 1 step to eating in front of the computer or TV

I really need some support. As DS is getting older, he challenges us on different fields. I feel like I am not good enough of a parent...

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Oh hon you are! The fact that you are one here trying to sort it all out shows that!

I too would be wary of the computer/tv for bedtime as it is a slippery slope. Could you do music from a CD or ipod in his room? Do you think that would have a similar effect? DD1 had a cd on a loop when she was a baby, it was her version of "white noise" for bedtime.

[Bella89]

I wonder if his own cd/mp3 player would work. Like a boombox on battery. Colorful and baby friendly. What do you think?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

That could! We had a bright pink cd player for DD1...wore it out with DD2 so DD3 has an actual white noise machine.

[Bella89]

Hi there. I'm back!

I think we got out of SR. He falls asleep very easy, after a wind down and book reading. I can leave room most days and he will fall asleep on his own (past 3 days). I hope it won't be back!

But I have other problems. Other than DH sabotaging sleep training EW past week!

This is our routine:
4:30-5:30 WU
12:30-14:30 nap.I wake him up and it takes up to and hour for him not to be cranky
8 BT falls asleep at 9 (9:20 yesterday, he was just laying there but I heard him squirming)

What do you think it is? I am seriously thinking 1-0 and earlier BT But he is only 18mo!!!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

A bit early for 2-1 (unless really low sleep needs, my DD3 dropped the nap at 22 months). She did better all along with less nap length and more night sleep. With those ew though I would be trying for earlier bedtime even if you didnt cap the nap.