Please help, 2-1 transition for 16 month old

[jojo895]

Hello,

You all were so helpful in helping me find a nap/sleep routine when our LO was 8 mos, I am back for more advice. Our now 16 month old is/has been going through 2:1 transition. A "good" 2-nap day for her lately had been about 1.5 hrs a.m. nap and a 1 or 1.25-hour p.m. nap, with about 10-11 hrs sleep at night. She's been alternately taking shorter naps, or fighting, or skipping one entirely for some time now.  Based on what I read here, in recent weeks I started capping a.m. nap at 1 hr or 45 mins to try and get her to at least take, or hopefully lengthen, the p.m. nap. However, this has never really panned out for her - her a.m. nap was usually the longest and most reliable, and cutting it short to get more on the other side hasn't gotten us anywhere, sometimes no p.m. nap at all! The past week we've tried skipping a.m. nap but I think she is OT - EWU at 5:30, only 1.5 hrs naps in p.m., and sometimes taking up to an hour to settle to sleep at BT.

I'd be perfectly happy to have her on 1 nap, but I feel she needs to sleep longer than she is on one nap. Is there any way to help her lengthen her p.m. nap beyond 1.5-2 hrs? I'd be happy with 2.5, thrilled with 3, and of course if she'd sleep later than 6:00am we would love that too.

Any advice??

Thank you so much!!!

[Haribo2012]

Hi there, I'd probably try sticking to 1 nap at this age, the length of nap does vary on the baby not all do the magical 3 hour lunch nap and long nights I'm afraid   

For us short am long pm nap never worked, I did long am nap and slowly pushed it out until it got to the middle of the day, if it all goes wrong pop a 20 min CN in around 4pm x

[jojo895]

Thanks for responding. What to do about OT though? Yesterday, after watching her accumulate sleep deficits for several days and reading on various websites that sometimes during the transition they just need some two nap days and some one nap days, I instructed caregiver to put her down for both and she slept great. A.m. Was 1.5 hrs and p.m. Was 1.25. BT around 7:30 or so, but then she woke at 5:10 and did not take a.m. Nap and only 1.5 p.m. Nap today.

What is th suggested schedule to gradually push back the a.m. Nap? What amount of time, and how many days before pushing back again? I know she'll never be the 3 hr nap baby,  but I do see evidence that she is OT.

Thanks much!!

[Haribo2012]

There will be some OT it's expected on nap transitions and yes some do give 2 naps one day then 1 the next or 1 nap for several days then 2 naps to catch up. Personally I found sticking to 1 nap and using early bed time worked better as got through the transition quicker.

There comes a time when day steals from night which may be what's happening with your early wake up after 2 naps.

What A time are you doing?x

[ele]

I just wanted to share my experience which I think can be helpful.

Around 16 months I had to move my DD to one nap. I felt that there was just not enough day time to give her 2 naps without constantly waking her up. Intuitively I knew, She was waking up underslept all the time, especially from her 1 st nap (one caveat, she never would go to sleep easily next time if she was not tired enough, so taking that 2nd nap was becoming a struggle for us too, her 1 st nap was easy though)
 
It was stressful to do that in just one shot from 4 hrs A to 6 hrs A, because I didn't want to rush before 18 months and I was always panicked about OT. But then...we tried to keep her up for 6 hours (slightly less if she didn't wake up in the morning happy) and put her to bed for nap and it got extended to 2 hours in just a few days.... We did some early night bedtime when she looked too tired but it was very quick. We never looked back at 2 naps. Just made little tweaks around 1 nap schedule.

It was so easy, I could not believe, the easiest transition for us. She was rested during day and night.

[jojo895]

We decided to try again with one nap knowing we could have some two nap days. First two days she woke crying after 1.25 hrs and hubby successfully soothed her back to sleep for total nap of 2.25 hrs. We were thrilled! Today same situation but I went in to soothe and it was game over, which I suspected would happen. She's got a serious mommy complex happening, there is never enough of me. So we have two things going on - that she can't seem to sleep thru past that 1.25 hrs mark without waking, and also is behaving differently for different caregivers. (Grandma watches her once a week and she has refused ALL naps for her the past three weeks!!!)

Those first two days she had the good, though broken, naps, here was her schedule:
A 5:45-6
S 12:15-2:30
BT (asleep) by 7:15-7:30

I'm all ears for any advice!!

[Haribo2012]

I'd prob say just keep trying as it took a while for naps to consistently lengthen. If it's less than an 1.5 hours then I'd bring BT earlier. If she's up at 6am then I'd be aiming for 6.30 BT.

Maybe she just needs extra mummy time, has anything recently changed?

[Scottishmummy]

Just to offer an alternative...

At 16mo with my DS we were in a bit of a mess with the 2-1. I kept trying for only 1 nap to be consistent but he was building up OT and BTs and wake ups were all over the place.

He was an early riser too, and I ended up doing the follow set nap pattern with him:

Wu: 6ish
Nap 1: 9.30 (asleep 9.35) up at 9.50/55
Nap 2: 1- waking (usually 2.30-3)
BT: 7pm

That micro morning nap was just enough to get him through to a long after lunch nap and at 18 mo he stopped falling asleep for it and just went to 1 nap at 1pm.  Just another option to consider ...

[ele]

1.5 hrs is very very good for starting the transition ( and frankly looking forward this shortish nap  can happen, totally normal). If she can't nap longer, but seems tired, I would put her to bed earlier at night. I think it becomes easier at this point to see when they are getting OT and prevent it by early BT.

[jojo895]

I am thrilled to report some amazing progress and thanks to all for your input! Our LO has now, for several days in a row, still woken mid-nap but successfully puts herself back to sleep and total naps are 2-2.5 hrs.  I am so relieved. Her WU still everywhere - today 5:20, two other days 6:40 (first time ever that late!)

Looking for guidance on a general schedule to aim for. We've been varying BT based on how long her naps are. Not sure if that's the best approach or better to pick a consistent time and stick with it. General WU time is 6:00 and nap 12-2 or 2:30.

Thanks!!

[Scottishmummy]

At this age most toddlers do well on a set nap and set BT.

With a 6am-ish wake up & one middle of the day nap, I would probably do BT no later than 7pm.

[jojo895]

Welllll...I was too soon in reporting amazing progress. For the last ten days or so naps have been at most 2 hrs. BT is 7 (takes her about 20-30 mins after that to settle to sleep) but she's consistently been waking 5-5:30 am.  What do we do? It seems like the 2 hr nap is maybe not enough if she's OT and waking so early??   But she will NOT settle back to sleep after waking at the 2-hr point.

What is the best course of action? How do we help her get some more sleep?

[Haribo2012]

Maybe try earlier BT in case she's OT!?