3 year old twins with sleep issues

[albers30]

I have 3 1/2 year old twins. One still likes to nap for an hour or so sometimes, the other no matter how tired she is refuses to nap unless she dozes off in her car seat. There bedtime is around 8 but this too has become a struggle.  They drag it out getting out of bed repeatedly asking for things even when we say no.  We've tried various approaches and haven't been able to find any way to get them to go to bed and to sleep when asked so they generally end up going to sleep between 9 and 930 and one daughter (the one who still likes to nap) get up between 630 and 7 and the other will sleep til 730-8 if you let her.  They don't act overtired but they look tired.  How can I get them to go to bed when asked to get the sleep they need and should I still be pushing the nap to help this as well?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I would guess the nap is probably contributing to the issue! Do they get a good amount of physical activiy in? I find that makes a world of difference here in a quick bedtime vs the zillion call backs and excuses to get up again and again!

[Shiv52]

I'd cut the nap too. I'd say the twin who naps just isn't tired enough at bedtime so is winding other twin up who is getting a second wind and they are not settling. With no day time sleep I'd say the chances of them sleeping when put to bed is much higher x

[albers30]

They get plenty of activity everyday when I'm home, I think on nanny days when I work they aren't that active but thats only 2 days a week.  I can cut the nap all together but on days she naps or doesnt' nap its the same bedtime issue.  I don't know if they are just getting second winds and need a super early bedtime, although thats never worked either or what else to try.  Even when I know they are tired its still a long drawn out process these days.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I would try no nap for a good week or so before deciding if it is making a difference. The odd no nap day wouldn't necessarily give you a good enough idea.

[albers30]

Generally the only days she naps is nanny days which is twice a week and occasionally a day when me or my husband are home but not often, other then a nodding off in the car late in the date which can't be helped but I'll try to get the nanny to not let her nap and see what a whole week of no naps does.  She's been having some other behavioral issues lately too so that might be a factor in the bedtime.  I really think if I could get her on board with going to bed as asked the other twin would be fine. 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Yeah we go through phases with bedtime (well and anything really - DD3 refused to help tidy up for a few weeks claiming her legs were to small!) and then one day things go back the way the were. Hopefully that is the case for you!