17 month old fighting sleep

[pfillingame]

Hi, all.  You helped me with my little guy several months ago and I'm back for more!  DS has been a great sleep for most of his life, only a few hiccups.  We start his bedtime routine around 7:00 pm: bath, massage, read three books, into bed - takes about 30 minutes or so.  He takes one nap, anywhere from 1.5-3 hours, depending on the morning's activity.  He is in daycare but naps the same whether he is at home or at school.  We gave up the pacifier about five weeks ago pretty smoothly - three nights and he was over it (we used an interval method to calm him, 1 - 3 -5 -10 minutes of crying before going into soothe him).  He hasn't formed an attachment to another lovey.  The week after the pacifier, he got a brutal ear infection that lasted almost three weeks, but didn't disrupt his sleep too much.  He was still falling asleep just fine.  In the last week he has started to fight both naps and night time sleep.  The interval method is not working anymore, he just sits in his crib and waits for us to come back and when we leave he starts up again.  I'm not sure if it's teeth or a wonder week or what.  Once he's asleep he sleeps great through the night and doesn't wake up until 6:30 or so.  Right now we're just rubbing his back until he falls asleep, which can take a while.  Is this late breaking separation anxiety?  I don't want to let him cry anymore as I feel like he's just losing trust in us.  Does anyone have any suggestions for helping him get to sleep?  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you! 

[Haribo2012]

Hi there, can you post your day as in WU, nap time and WU and BT?

I'm glad your not using the interval method of settling anymore as your right it does break the trust. You could be headed into the dreaded 18 month sleep regression x

[pfillingame]

Hi Haribo2012, thanks for the reply.  Anything to help our sweet little guy!

WU: 7 AM (give or take half an hour)
Nap:  1 PM (give or take half an hour)
WU: Anywhere between 2-3:30, depending on the morning's activities and when he fell asleep.  We can count on at least 1.5 hours of sleep.
BT: 7:30-7:45 (this is pretty solid)

He doesn't wake up during the night, sleeps straight through.  If he does stir, he rolls over and goes right back to sleep, we don't go in.  Knock wood - hoping this stays the case.  Thanks in advance for your help!

[Haribo2012]

Your day looks pretty good, I'd say it's the start of the SR.

Does it make any difference to the settling if the nap is 1.5 or 3 hours?

[pfillingame]

Hi Haribo2012, definitely the SR.  Length of nap does not matter.  We tried WI/WO tonight and it took almost two hours for him to fall asleep.  I'm not sure we're doing it correctly.  He starts crying again (screaming, really - not a fake cry) as soon as I turn around to leave the room.  I don't even make it out of the room before he's crying again.  So do I stand outside for a minute before going back in?  Several times he started calming down only to work himself up ten minutes later.  Then, when I would go back in the room, it would escalate all over.  How long am I supposed to wait before going back in?  I'm not rubbing his back or anything, just saying our sleep phrase a few times and leaving.  We've never done controlled crying, but towards the end that's what this was feeling like and we were both in tears.  SR is no fun!  Thanks for your help.

[Haribo2012]

Oh bless you both its so tough when there crying. The idea is you see what type of cry it is, so if it's a moan you leave them and listen but if it's a full on I need you cry you go straight to them.

I'd possibly try gradual withdrawal if he's that upset as he might need your presence to feel happy to fall asleep.

I know it's bad habits but when sleep has been at its worse I've often resorted to apop and given DS1 & 2 a cuddle to sleep.

Don't make yourself upset over it, habits can be fixed after a regression if need be. I personally try and be consistent but you know you all need to sleep so sometimes do what you have to 

[pfillingame]

Thank you Haribo2012!  You have no idea how much that helps.  He was a little better tonight.  Hopefully it continues to improve but it's so nice to be reminded it's not the end of the world.    Thank you again!

[Haribo2012]

Your welcome, it does sometimes feel like the end of the world though I know lol.

Keep us posted