3 week old driving me crazy!

[malibu_nikkus]

It's supposed to a nice time having a newborn. Well I remember my others were still quite sleepy at this age.  Not this one. Sleep wise, he's HARD work. He only sleeps well on us or  in car seat. The rest of the time, he fights sleep screaming. For instance, this morning he woke at 6.45am. Had a feed, then a slight post feed snooze. I figured he was tired, Si wrapped him  and put to bed where he was yawning but awake.  Well, he just screamed and screamed. I put a hand on him and did loud shhh, he screamed. I picked him up to calm him, he screamed for a while, he got dozy, I put him in the cot, he closed his eyes for about one minute, opened them and screamed. He then screamed in my arms for another 5 minutes or so.  Eventually,  he fell into a light sleep in my arms at about 1.30min wake time. I've transferred him, I'll see what happens. Usually he will wake after about 10mins and scream, even though I've got a firm hand on him to make sure he doesn't Jolt himself awake. 

Not sure what's happening, any ideas?

[Haribo2012]

Hey there, sounds like lo could be in some pain or discomfort, have you considered reflux?

[Katet]

Hugs.

Yesterday I went to a fundraiser for "Tresillian" which is basically the real life bricks & mortar place (for NSW/Australia) that does what Baby Whisperer is all about. A Neonatal Paeditrician from one of big Hospitals was the guest speaker, he's written some books & off course wanted to promote his own cause BUT what he spoke about resonated so much with me & I've since looked at his Website.

He published a study some years back - I'm getting a hard copy of some of his Research work in the next few weeks, but from his Website I found this. With the value of hindsight this totally makes sense to me.
https://www.babydoc.com.au/faq/colic-bore-your-baby-to-sleep/

Also at the table I was seated was one of the Nurses that works in the Hospital with the residential sleep unit. She was talking about all the changes in sleep "methods" in the 30 years she's been there (from CC being the norm to now basically methods that are very much about cuddle & comfort.  The one thing that she also said (with the preface of you've probably found this to my 2 friends & me who have children aged 8-13) " We live in a world that is looking for solutions to get the baby the way we need it, but the reality is that's a modern thing, 1000's of years of parenting was very different & parents are stressed & that is picked up by children"... Basically I think if you can slow down & enjoy him he will probably relax more, but if you are BF & you are super busy with your other 4 (normal) he's probably getting some of that adrenalin from you & so will be wired up.

[malibu_nikkus]

Brilliant. Thanks for the article, I'll have a read.

Our little guy definitely has silent reflux like the rest of our babies. But, I guess I was ruling out pain because when he woke after a minute or two, I wouldn't hear refluxing, but perhaps the acid is moving up and down without me being able to hear or see any signs.

Keeping this is mind, I just kept him upright and rocked in the rocker (just enjoying him like Kate suggested), and put him to bed when he seemed more peaceful and not freaking out about AP.  I'll see how he goes. For my other babies reflux was caused mostly by diet and genetics obviously.  I'll give it another week and see if I can control it by diet and probiotics. Fingers crossed!

[Katet]

Not harping on about this guy but he raised some interesting points about reflux & how it was normal biology - ie ALL  babies have reflux because of the development of anatomy & because there was a medical intervention it was a cause parents latch onto & (in the research papers I'm trying to get) he talked about the 'placebo' effect being as high as 85%... ie 85% of parents who believed they were given reflux meds for their children saw an improvement, yet they were taking a placebo, with the huge value of hindsight I can see that the "babies should be" is a hug factor in our parental stress & we as a society are at a point where we believe if we find "the perfect routine" life will be easier & so there is so much stress that "we do it wrong" & if that's with a BF Mum it's then going through not just skin to skin contact but also through our milk.

Also medically the acid burns that reflux causes to have severe pain will take much more than 3 weeks to be the cause of an unsettled baby, so while he almost undoubtably has reflux (the maturity of the valve says he will reflux) developmentally it almost certainly can't be the cause.

[paulak412]

At 3  weeks it's naturally for babies to want to be held why they sleep u cannot sleep train this young