3:2 Transition and Bedtime Help 6 Month Old

[Meggyfunk]

Hi mamas!

Our son will be 6 months old this weekend and our routine has become tricky. He has started refusing his 3rd nap so we've rolled with it and have tried to get a little cat nap in to hold us over until bedtime. Some evenings this works and others not so much. When we did the 4:3 transition, we moved bedtime up by one hour cold turkey. He woke up after an hour and I nursed him; after a few weeks his new bedtime was established without him waking at that time. It seemed like the best solution to not having an overtired baby and this was honestly before I even knew what the 4:3 transition was. So, to prepare for the 3:2, I had every intention of moving his bedtime in gradual increments of 15 minutes. This has definitely not been accomplished and here we are...

Today's EASY:

8:15 W.U./E
8:45 A
10:00am S

12:00 E
12:30 A
3:00 S (Tried 2pm and 2:30 - it was rough! Ended up adding an E at 2:30 - went to sleep on his own after)

5:00 E
7:00 E (Followed by bath at 7:30)
Have been trying to get him to bed ever since...it is now 10pm :-(

Naps and bedtime have been a struggle for the last week in trying to find the magical A time. Yesterday his last big nap ended at 4pm (because he began that nap at 2pm) and I was able to get a 30 minute cat nap from 6:00 - 6:30. The only way I can accomplish these little cat naps is with the grace of God and by nursing him to sleep. It's obviously not ideal and I don't nurse him to sleep for his first two naps or bedtime. It's simply a better alternative to the one I am in now with an OT baby who I can't get to sleep.

Our ideal routine would be 8am - 8pm each day....

Would greatly appreciate help with this 3:2 catastrophe.

- Feeling like a complete failure

[Meggyfunk]

Today's EASY has started off as follows:

W.U. and E 7:30
A
S 9:00 - 10:00

He woke up early (for his usual schedule) and took a shorter nap. I'm thinking this may be attributed to last night. I ended up nursing him to sleep after no avail and he finally dosed off around 11:00pm 

[Lindsay27]

Hi hun!! Don't worry, the 3-2 is especially tricky, we struggled with it for a while before I think it finally settled into 2 solid naps around 7 months.  The first thing that is jumping out to me is your A times, they seem a bit low for his age, so I think the first step would be to push that A out, I would say that most LOs this age are able to handle a 2.5hr A time.  This is a great link for reference:

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

Once you push the A time out I think he should settle to sleep for naps much more easily and provided you have 2 good As with decent naps you can probably accomplish a 2 nap day.  There is a lot of back and forth with this transition so one day he may need a CN, the next day not.  You can push A times in 15min increments but as a start I wouldn't do anything less than a minimum 2hr A otherwise you will just get stuck in a UT/OT loop.

Something to aim for would be:

WU 7:30
Nap 10-11:30
Nap 2-3:30
Optional CN at 5:30 for 20mins and BT 8pm OR no CN and an EBT of 6pm

What do you think?

[Meggyfunk]

Thank you so much for your reply and recommendations, I really appreciate this so much! I held him off for 2 hrs 20 min and it looks hopeful-ish on the monitor that he will be asleep soon.

I think where I'm unsure of how to proceed best is with that last part of the day. Ideally, I would like to have him do a CN because 7:00pm would really be the earliest BT that would work for our family. We've just had so much trouble getting him to take the CN and it only works if I hold him and nurse him. Maybe aim for the CN and on the days it does not happen, put him to bed early? Eventually his A times will be long enough to sustain him until BT without a CN, so I realize this is only for a season.

[Lindsay27]

We've just had so much trouble getting him to take the CN and it only works if I hold him and nurse him. Maybe aim for the CN and on the days it does not happen, put him to bed early? Eventually his A times will be long enough to sustain him until BT without a CN, so I realize this is only for a season.

Yes this is a good plan!  Honestly, I used to have to AP that CN to get it to work, I'd put her in the carrier and make dinner, go for a walk or a drive, or just rock her for a bit.  It's not ideal but it's the only way it worked.  Exactly like you said, once the A times stretch out it won't be needed so it is just for a period of time.  We didn't fully come through the transition until she was consistently at a 3hr A time (which eliminated the CN), and it took most of the 6th month to come through it completely.

[Meggyfunk]

Thank you, Lindsay! This is helpful as well and gives us an idea of the timeline that may also be ahead of us, give or take. I feel better, we have a plan.

Thank you, ladies! 

[Meggyfunk]

With the 2.5 hour stretch he napped for a little under an hour. However, it is not unusual for him to have a bad nap day when his nighttime sleep is off. I'm going to stick with it for a couple of days and see how things are going towards the end of the week.

[Lindsay27]

Yes keep at it for the next few days and see what happens.  A 2.5hr A time could actually be a little UT, so if that first nap ends up consistently being under an hour I'd go ahead and stretch the A.  Like I said we ended up going right to 3hrs pretty quick.

[Meggyfunk]

How do you know when you are pushing more than your LO may be ready for? I felt like I was forcing him to stay awake when he was so clearly tired and as soon as his head hit the bed he was asleep within a matter of minutes. But, only slept 45 minutes. He's usually a 1.5 hour to 2 hour napper with the end of the day being our problem area. Keep pushing on for a few days, or slow down a bit? 

[Lindsay27]

You know your LO best hun, if you feel it's too much you can try to hold for a few days, or reduce a little.  45min naps are typically UT, but every LO is different.  I do find my DDs first A time is usually shorter than the second one...she typically does 3.15hr in the morning and 3.5hr in the afternoon.  So, you could try scaling back the first A and if you get a solid 1.5-2hr nap then do a longer 2nd A. 

[Meggyfunk]

Hi Lindsay,

I wanted to reply in case anyone comes across this thread looking for help in the future and also to thank you.

The last week has been a struggle and we have persevered I'm so happy to report that we have successfully pushed to three hours of A time. Yay! Whoop Whoop! We learned that once we helped him push through his initial sleepy/fussy phase that seemed to come anywhere between 2/2.5 hours, all would be OK. I usually nurse him at that time and we are starting solids this weekend as well. He's been going down for naps pretty well and *most* of the time we can get over the 45 minute hump for a decent nap. Either way, he wakes up happy! Cat naps are not even worth the struggle or stress for us anymore and we plan on bedtime from anywhere between 7pm and 8pm; we schedule accordingly from the time he wakes up from his second nap.

We have had some night wakings throughout this period and are going back to sleep training/reducing the amount of time he is nursing each night. We did this before and it worked great with him sleeping through the night again after just a couple of nights.

Thank for your encouragement and support! I read my last question and felt like such a goober. In the throws of these changes, when you are OT yourself as a mommy, you sometimes just feel so desperate and unsure of yourself.

 

[Lindsay27]

 Wonderful update!!  You are absolutely right, sometimes you need to push through those "tired" moments and get to the other side to learn that they can handle more A time!  My DD seems to hit that right around the 3hr mark.  Fantastic job both of you!!

In the throws of these changes, when you are OT yourself as a mommy, you sometimes just feel so desperate and unsure of yourself.

I know the feeling all too well!!  My DD has been learning to crawl and she's been a crying frustrated mess and pushed me to the absolute brink this week, but once the phases are over things settle and everyone feels normal again  

 

We have had some night wakings throughout this period and are going back to sleep training/reducing the amount of time he is nursing each night. We did this before and it worked great with him sleeping through the night again after just a couple of nights.

You might find that once you start solids the nights may improve also as their bellies are a little more full

[Meggyfunk]

Amen, amen! Lol