Stopping bf and being overtired 15 month old

[Mum2lucy]

Hiya

I am trying to stop bf-ing. I'm only doing the bedtime feed and trying to drop this.

My lg goes to sleep independently for naps without a feed. She does have a dummy.
If she has a good day nap,  she'll have a feed and come off and go into her cot awake and take about 20mins for her to drop off independently.

The issue I have is that when she is overtired on nursery days (3 days a week) because she doesn't have a good nap, she won't self settle. Normally on these nights she feeds to sleep as she is shattered. If I put her in her cot overtired she can't settle and  She cries and cries and cries.

The question is what techniques can I use to try and settle her? Her nap she just goes in and goes to sleep. If she wakes during the night I have a sleep phrase sleepy time and shhhh her. These don't  seem to work at bedtime.

Tonight for example she was ot, I fed her but she went into the cot awake and she cried and cried. I did walk in and walk out for 45 mins which didn't work so then I sat on the ground quietly for 15mins shhhh her but that didn't work. I ended up having to feed her which I know is really really not helping.

It's just frustrating as I know she can do it for naps and bedtime when she isn't overtired

Thanks xx

[Scottishmummy]

Hi there! How's it going? Did you manage to get onto 1 nap in the end & stop the EW? (I ask as we're still struggling through the 2-1 here)

With the BT feed...is it possible to move the feed earlier in the BT routine e.g. Do milk before bath (or whatever your first step of WD routine is). That might help change the feed-sleep association them you could replace BF with milk in a cup?

It is really hard when they're OT..my DD is the same on nursery days..just screams from the moment I pick her up until I do her BT BF. It's often only thing that calms her and I too think I'll stop soon but need to ensure she can be calmed and sleep without it. My DD has a comfort blanket and I'm hoping that will calm her enough to sleep on OT days when I stop BF.

[Mum2lucy]

Hiya 

Yes we made it to one nap and it's now pretty good. Once I went to the set nap rather than A time it clicked with her. It felt like it took forever to get to that stage. She won't really sleep anywhere else except her cot if I want a decent nap from her but I can live with that.  I get a wake up of between 6-7 now which is good. Anything after 6 is fine in my book. How's your 2:1 going?

I could def move it earlier in the routine and I had done before but I guess with the nursery OT it's moved back nearer to before bed. Thing is she doesn't even really take milk now. It's more comfort sucking - or it seems like that. I'm not going to have milk in the bedtime routine if I can avoid it as she has milk with her food at breakfast lunch and dinner so hopefully that'll be enough.

I just can't seem to soothe her when she is OT. Feel a bit helpless and then I resort to boob  She has a comforter bunny but it doesn't really soothe her.

[Scottishmummy]

Our 2-1 is a mess since I went back to work...random naps at random times of very variable lengths & EW everyday ..she even fell asleep in car to nursery at 7.30am last week! It's good to be reminded that it is possible to get through it though & it will settle for us eventually too.

With the OT, is there anything else she could suck on to soothe her and get her to sleep? Her bunny? Or something else? When I dropped BFs with DS he started taking an old pyjama top of mind to bed and he used that as a comfort blanket. Or if you want to avoid soggy soothers...would she take a drink from a sippy cup instead of BF for comfort, quick teeth clean then bed?
It's hard as the techniques like GW and WI/WO are for sleep training, which isn't what she needs as she can SS, so it's trying to find something else in the WD that will calm her enough to sleep....dark room & white noise? Lullaby?

I will be following with interest..I'm trying to get my DD to drop her morning BF as I think it might be contributing to EW but she is not happy about it and screams and pushes away any cup until
I BF her..not a great start to the day!

[Mum2lucy]

You hit the nail on the head, something that will calm her right down for sleep,
Tonight I fed her, she was still awake, lights went out and I cuddled her for a minute and put her into her cot. She's rolling around in it just now so we will see 😄

[Scottishmummy]

It would be good if she would accept a cuddle for calming instead of the feed..it's tricky when they are so OT. Sometimes mine have responded best to v quick WD just putting them in bed and switching light off but they go to sleep quickly then and don't keep crying.

[Scottishmummy]

I was thinking...as it's more of a weaning than a sleep training question, do you want to try a post on the breast feeding board and see if anyone there as BTDT experience?

[Palmira78]

In case it helps, we eliminated the night breast feedding almost 2 months ago.
You can read about our experience on the following post:
Eliminated breastfeeding during the nights - Our experience
We still have some NWs but less, and we have broken the nursing to sleep association.
Let me know if it is helpful.... Good luck, you can do it! :-)

[Mum2lucy]

I managed to stop feeding her and haven't fed her for 2 weeks and she seems ok with it but I'm still struggling when she is overtired.
Today was
Wu 6.40
S: 12.00-1.15
Bed: 6.30, cried on and off until 7.35

What time do you think I should put her down if she has a bad nap or should I just stick to a consistent bedtime either way?

Her non nursery days look like this:

Wu: 6-7
S: 12.00 - 1.30/2.00 (give or take half hr)
Bed: 7, sleep by 7.30

[Scottishmummy]

Do you think the crying on & off was OT or UT. 1hr15 isn't much less than 1hr30. I think I would try for a 7pm BT still. She might just sleep closer to 7 than 7.30? Unless she seems really tired or has slept less than an hr, in which case she might need earlier BT.

HTH

[Mum2lucy]

I'll give it a go.  I used to do a 6.30pm bed time on nursery days and she'd tend to have a longer night sleep due to a short nap but that was when I nursed at night time and she'd get sleepy.  Not sure it's working now

Maybe she's taken a little leap in her awake times in the last few weeks. x

[Scottishmummy]

Or stick with 6.30 on nursery days? I find my DD is exhausted after nursery even if she has slept. The long time to settle could be OT and therefore keeping her up later might just be too much.
Sorry that's not very helpful, I suppose I'm suggesting this: See how you get on with a set 7pm but if she is still crying for annhoir, it would make sense to go back to 6.30 on nursery days.