2 yr old night waking

[Lono]

Hi, I hope someone can give me some advice.
My dd3 is 23 months old.
Her day is usually :
Awake around 7
Nap around 11.30 to 1 ( I think this is a bit early but I have to leave the house for a school run at 1)
Bed at 8.

She chats for a bit in her cot at bedtime and goes to sleep by herself with no problems.
The problem is, she won't stay asleep, she usually wakes around 11, I employ the walk in/walk out method, this is enough to get her back to sleep,  but again she doesn't stay asleep, she wakes another 2 to 3 times in the night. I walk in say 'shhh night night' and walk out.
But if I don't go in she'll cry, and call and scream until I do.

Some nights she sleeps all night, she could sleep all night for a couple of nights then have a couple of nights where she's awake a lot and I can't figure out why.
I never pick her up at night and she's never looked to come into our bed.

Last night I went into her room 7 times during the night, it's exhausting.

She was a great sleeper until around her 1st birthday and really this has been going on since then.

I really have no idea how to stop her needing me during the night,  wi/wo is not working and I don't think she's going to grow out of it.
I'd really love any advice or suggestions. Thanks.

Ps dh thinks I shouldn't go to her at all during the night when she cries that she's old enough now to cio...I'm not comfortable with this but I'm not sure.

[Scottishmummy]

Hi!

Sorry for the late reply and that you're having such a hard time at night. I agree with you about staying away from CIO..the NWs are happening for a reason & crying alone & unanswered is not going to solve it.  That said with your WI/WO are you giving a chance to settle?  Some LOs cry briefly then settle themselves. BW suggests allowing for settling but going in if cries start to sound distressed. Going in too soon can contribute to the settling taking longer.

However...The NWs could be routine related.... you tried moving the nap to after you are home from the school run? Just wondering if the NWs are from being UT for the nap? Could you use a weekend or half term holiday when there is no school run to try gradually pushing the nap later by 30 mins or so every few days?

[Lono]

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.
Last night I tried leaving her to cry for a bit and to my surprise she stopped crying after 2 minutes every time.
She woke and cried about 5 times throughout the night and each time settled herself after around 2 minutes of crying.

Do you think it's ok to do this again tonight?  How long should I give her to settle before going in?

Regarding the nap, I know it's early but  I don't think I can change it. I have to leave the house at 1 for a school run, back at 1.30 the I have to leave again at 2 for the next school run and im back st 2.30, which I think is too late.
She could be  UT, but she does sleep fine at this time, although I usually have to wake her at 1.

[Scottishmummy]

Hi

Yes I would try that again...as you can see in this link WI/WO isn't completely  "no cry" ,  some crying to allow for settling can be part of it..but you do walk in if crying escalates or becomes distressed : Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

That makes sense re nap...in that case keep what is working. 2.30 would be v late to start a for a 23mo.  If you have to wake her from the nap for school run, other thing that might be worth trying is a slightly earlier BT (7.30?) in case NWs are OT?   That said it looks like she does an 11jr night,  together with a 1.5hr nap would still be a good amount of sleep at her age.

So....I think keep trying with the WI/WO but with time for her to have a chance to resettle herself and see if that helps before changing anything in her routine

Xxx

[Lono]

Thank you. Since then we've had a night where she woke a couple of times and settled again very quickly,  I didn't have to go to her.at all then last night she cried and cried for hours with lots of wi/wo.
There's no consistency in what she does.
The thing I don't understand is that she needs no help at all in getting to sleep at bed time,  she happily chats away for a few minutes and falls asleep. So I don't know why she can't settle herself at night.
I'll carry on with the wi/wo, leaving time for her to settle.
Thanks.

[Scottishmummy]

The inconsistency makes me wonder whether something else is upsetting her if she can settle sometimes but not others.
Teeth?
Developmental leap? they usually coincide with birthdays and half birthdays after 12mo.
Bad dreams?