3 Week Old Textbook Baby Can't Settle at Night

[machupicchu]

Hello! I need help with my 3 week old. She's what the book defines as a textbook baby. She eats efficiently, stays up, settles pretty well for naps, and goes 3 hours easily between feeds. Last week I even had a few days of her waking up during the day like clockwork when her feeds were due.

She has "witching" hours, however, at night. Since her birth, she's had crying spells at night. Sometimes they're full out hysterical crying hours, sometimes she just can't seem to settle and wakes up several minutes after she falls asleep crying again. It used to be much longer, but now it's an average of 2 hours at night, typically after her dream feed. Between 11pm and 2am, she just can't settle herself. She feeds well for her dream feed, I've even started burping her because I was afraid it was gas, and then she wakes up shortly after with her crying routine. Sometimes she does have gas, but I can't imagine it's only gas because she's a calm baby during the day, even when she needs to pass gas or a bowel movement. I then feed her around 1/2am and then she sleeps very nicely until 6/6:30am as if nothing ever happened! I find that she's sleepy in the morning because understandably she's exhausted from all the crying. I work very hard to wake her, undressing her, putting her on a cool surface, gently washing her face with some cold water, when she needs to be up, but her first 2 morning feeds are not as efficient because she's so tired and sleepy. This gives me so much anxiety because I'm afraid that she'll have a bad night again due to sleeping more than she should during the day. 

Last week, I've had a few nights of her following the EASY routine to a T, and she did it 2 nights ago as well. I go back to work in a few weeks and I am really anxious to get this figured out before I do so, please help!

[lolsyb1982]

Hi and welcome!

Congratulations on your new arrival 

Sounds like you're doing an amazing job if at 3 weeks you're even having some days where you're getting a perfect routine, most haven't even thought of reading the book yet!

It's pretty common for newborns to be unsettled at night. Could it be the dream feed is disturbing her sleep cycles? I wonder if you didn't do a DF and instead allowed her to wake by herself when hungry if she might just feed and go straight back to sleep after. Maybe you could try?

She's still very young so if I were you I would just let her sleep in the mornings and not wake her. At this age I don't think they can sleep too much so please don't worry about her having too much day sleep - that'll come later 
Babies of this age are very unpredictable so as much as I'd like to say you could get her into a great routine chances are it'll be very inconsistent for some weeks yet.

Sounds like you're doing a fab job and I'd continue as you are xx

[FPT23]

Hi welcome to the forums!!

Congrats on the new baby!!

I'm here trying to respond quickly as I simply was able to skim since I'm limited on time but your topic interested me

At this age hun, there is no solid consistency. Day or nights. You mentioned anxiety from too much day sleep and will have a bad night because of it.... well, your LO cannot differentiate her days from her night at this age. That comes a bit later so if you are trying to keep her up during the day, it won't work and may actually cause your more problems in the end. She is far too little and her clock isn't the same. This is what they do... remember when she was in your belly? Every time you were active and walking around, she was bouncing around in there being rocked to sleep... so, she slept all day ...but as soon as you wanted to lay and sleep, she was probably most active ...which was nights! That's how she will be for sometime until she adjusts.

Go with the flow. There is more "consistency" but until around 3 months but then it changes up again and settles around 5/6 mths. I know new babies are rough especially when as parents we work and need our rest, but hang in there. This is very common and very normal. Physically they are just not capable. Some nights will be better than others, and some days better than others too.

Let her sleep. She needs it and keeping her awake can cause over tiredness which can lead to the opposite, with more night wakes and those mini meltdowns. Help her sleep as best as you can.

Also, are you BF or FF?

Many hugs! Xo

[machupicchu]

Thank you so much for your responses!

My husband and I were talking today and actually thought about just skipping the DF tonight and see if she just wakes up for her middle of the night feed. I am BF and I expressed for the DF last night to see how much she takes and for the next feed. She took 2 oz and we got her to take a 3rd with a lot of effort. She couldn't settle for the next 2 hours and then ate only 1.5 oz for her middle of the night feed. She then went back to sleep nicely at 2am and slept easily until 530am, but she didn't cry until 6am, at which point I fed her. So fingers crossed I will try to skip the DF and see how long she sleeps on her own.

I know I'm being so rigid about her routine and expecting her to follow it so well at such a young age, but the book makes it seem like a baby so young can handle it already. There's even an EASY routine for a 4-week old. I'm just afraid that as she grows older, she will become harder and harder to train. She's my 4th baby but my first that I'm doing BW with. I know how clever they can get at 4 months, and 6 months and how much more difficult it becomes with breaking bad habits they learned. That's why I want to start from a young age so that she doesn't "know better." My only concern with skipping the DF is that it'll be harder to go back to it once she gets a little older and can actually sleep for an 8 hour stretch without a feed. I'm afraid that she'll want to sleep her 8 hour stretch between 7pm-3am instead of 11pm-7am.

[FPT23]

Hello

Well the DF works for some and not for others. DS1 did very well w the DF. DS2 it seemed to mess things up and I attempted it more than 3xs ...it just didn't help him.

I asked about FF or BF because with a BF baby, you know they require to eat more at nights and days for that matter. I would nurse every time baby woke. Do not worry about resettling etc. Also, being a BFing mom myself, around that age, you have to make sure baby is getting enough, yk? So i would just nurse on demand all night at ever wake.

As far as the book, I've read it and I'm aware BUT it seems so simple doesn't it? You would have to REALLY follow it in every sense and even then, it's not a miracle worker. Babies change. I know what you mean about bad habits later, but the first 3 months I was just trying to survive haha! And let me tell you, they don't pick up bad habits this early. I assure you that much. As long as you follow the E A S routine, you will be ok. Things happen- you can worry about the bad habits later... sometimes they are inevitable especially with 3 other kids in the house. I did BW with both of mine.... DS2 slept in swings, nursed to sleep, slept in the car in car seats... I wore him and all those "bad" habits..... and NONE of them stuck because when he reached around 3 months, I slowly removed one at a time and did not struggle much at all and he's been sleeping 11/12 hours since 4-5mths old with long naps since 4mths. He was also swaddled and had a pacifier.

!! So i think you will stress yourself out more. Tracy shows the day routine which can be achievable but one thing I can say is that it won't be that way, everyday. the main focus is the E A S routine and achieving good sleep because of it. Yk?

Expect her to wake for awhile especially right now and especially BF hun. She won't be sleeping long stretches just yet

Many hugs! It won't last and time will fly! Just one of the many phases!

[lolsyb1982]

Does sound like the DF might be messing up her sleep. I think even if she did an 8 hr stretch from 7-3 that would be totally normal. Some babies even with the DF will still wake around 4.

Yes the book makes it seem so simple but it's most definitely not and I can't even begin to imagine how much harder it would be with 3 other children to deal with. When I had my 2nd I just did whatever was necessary until she was around 4 months when she didn't need to be worn in a sling anymore etc. I didn't really need to train her to sleep properly, she just had developed enough by then to manage by herself.

Agree with pp bad habits can most definitely not be formed at this age, I would say around the 3/4 month mark they might start to become bad habits so don't push yourself too hard right now. Make the most of those baby snuggles!